Fic: Middles - R/L - PG

[kahvi]

Title: Middles
Pairing: Rimmer/Lister
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own Red Dwarf, it owns me. None of us make any money off one another. Well, I buy the DVDs. But you see what I mean.
Spoilers: Legion.
Notes: Rimmer came by for a visit. He wasn't happy. Written as part of the fanfic100 challenge - my table is here.

Comments

[roadstergal]

Much love. This is so good.

He sweats madras sauce, he oozes garlic, and he only washes when he feels like it, which really isn’t very often.

Lovely. Dentist? *whistle*

Can I just quote the whole second paragraph here?

The idea that a man like me could love a man like him drove me almost to the limits of the sanity I was already precariously hanging on to the edge of with my fingernails. It didn’t make sense, and I need for things to make sense. There’s far too little order and discipline in the world if you ask me, and if a man can’t control his own thoughts and desires, well, what can he control?

Yes, indeed! Order, dammit!

Perhaps he was secretly a stamp-collector, or a Hammond-organ enthusiast. Perhaps he had always felt a strong, overpowering need to over-starch his underwear, but been afraid to try it. Maybe he had a well-hidden interest in historical miniature gaming; maybe he had played the odd game of RISK; I was willing to settle for anything!

Dammit, if only Lister were normal!

who can fit that much sex into a

[kahvi]

Yay, you liked it! :D
And thank you, I've learned from the best. ;)

Basically, I came to the conclusion Lister presents (regarding something *cough* else entirely), and as I was mulling it over, an irate Rimmer barged into my mind and started jabbering. This is what he said.

Can you imagine at what age you would have to start?
Twelve?

And yes, of course he saw the tattoo. Come to think of it, maybe there are more tattoos?

[roadstergal]

Well, there's the love of vindaloo one from the deleted Psirens scene, but I dunno about any others. We do get a good look at where any others might be, in Pete...

[roadstergal]

I just realized that we need to fit the I-love-Petersen tattoo into the fic we're currently writing.

[eviltigerlily]

Ah, lovely Rimmer voice. This just oozes frustration of, uh, all kinds.

It was hard to enjoy being tangible again when I knew there was a risk I'd break one night and jump the smegger

Um, that would be.... bad?
Love the last sentence.

[kahvi]

Thank you! He never lets me really in, but when he does come for a visit, he usually has a lot on his mind. And he's a frustrated guy, you know?

Bad for Rimmer's sense of order. Order, dammit!

Glad you enjoyed it! :D

[zekkass]

Aww. Wonderful Rimmer-voice!

I fully understand that it can be hard to believe that a single human being can exhibit all of the traits inherent in one David Lister technician third grade, but I assure you, it is sadly all too true.

Welcome to humanity, Rimmer. We're complicated. Or would you rather live on an orderly world without surprises?

No, I kept on, not satisfied with the horrendous data I’d already collected - like some information-based masochist I needed more.

Ah ha! Poor Rimmer...too much information can be bad for your mental health. :D

Lovely, lovely job!

[eviltigerlily]

Or would you rather live on an orderly world without surprises?

Um, yeah?

[zekkass]

Eyup. See me, see me state the obvious answer. *g*

[kahvi]

Thank you! :D
Any Rimmer-voice skill I may have comes from working with roadstergal, and her wonderful Rimmer. :)

Rimmer is a little bit like Rincewind the wiz(z)ard in Terry Pratchett's Discworld, I think. He'll happily take boring over exciting any day, because boredom is safe.

And it certainly can... It's hard to keep in mind what Lister said; that nothing is entirely black and white, and that there are so many sides to every story.

Thanks again, I'm glad you enjoyed it!