Bursting Bubbles - Or: Why "on" and "off" stage are completely different things
I'm not the recent Blogger I used to be, anymore...
Hilarious how life changes and plays us around like balls.
One day it's bright sunshine, another day it rains.
I've come to a point were most of the time I prefer to live my life instead of just talking about it, though.
Which is why this LJ ended up so abandoned.
If you're still curious about the recent events, feel free to sneak in...
So I am running through the clouds
I'm trying hard, I don't mind
Can I fly? Should I try?
I'm feeling safe in sunshine
The last months have made me reconsider many things in life. I have learned a lot, been forced to make up my mind and I will sooner than I like, have to stand on my own feet. By the middle of June I have to leave the office I am currently in, and get an inview in the planning department. What this means? Even more stress, even more responsability and a lot of self-confidence which I will need.
I reached a point around two weeks ago, where I was so worn out and overburdened, that it turned into frustration.
I failed an exam at school on purpose and ended up really pathetic alone at home in a corner.
All this resulted in endless discussions with my workmates, my boyfriend, many of my friends and my family.
And luckily it made me stronger, instead of breaking me even more.
I understood that I am not a machine and need to become cooler regarding many things. Life IS a constant rollercoaster, the trick is to learn to enjoy even the adrenaline-kicking down parts.
Right now I am in a phase of living my life, planning a lot of stuff, while I actually feel as if I only watch that girl - myself - from the outside.
Little Sandy is alive and she is fighting the rising flood of fears, to not drown in all the insecurities.
She'll probably lose the fight sooner or later, though.
I never before felt so torn about my youth and about who I always wanted to be.
That's basically not a bad thing, it's a normal process of growing up and learning to deal differently with things as an adult, than you used to do when you were a kid. But for a "kid-like" person as I am, it is super hard to grow up after all.
The better for me that the idols of my youth make it easy for me...
Come in, come out,
Come in, come out,
'Cause I, and I just try, the You and I
The You and I
As many of you may know I just recently left my position as the German Streetteam leader for fade, to my precious Ka-Chan.
In the next months I am planning to attend many concerts, trying to get a glimpse on the idols of my youth. Those who had been "with me" through their music, when I was a teenager.
Last night an old Highschool friend, her name is Kathi, and I attended the concert of a german band called "Killerpilze".
This band has been together since over 10 years now. The members are all around our age and I am "with them" since around 6 years of their career now.
I had a web about them, since one of their songs had a deep impact on me in 2007 and made it possible for me to overcome a bitter loss and I wanted to give them something back. They have a super "fan-friendly" image and so I was eager to meet them around that time.
My good luck was, that I wouldn't meet them until 2010. First in Darmstadt. Then in 2012 in Prüm for my birthday.
And yesterday again.
And with each meeting I'd feel more and more disappointed...
The karma's all gotta lose
The drama's all I will abuse
Can I fly? Should I try?
I'm feeling safe in sunshine
Nevertheless, let's start from the beginning...
(Exzellenhaus Trier from the outside - a place for the youth to meet and hang out, but also for concerts)
Kathi and me would be having a walk around Trier before the concert. We'd arrive at the venue around 6PM, one hour before doors opened. Besides some French fans, who are completely obsessed with the Killerpilze and are known to travel continents to see them, if necessary, plus being super clingy and -sorry but they are- annoying, we were the first ones around.
We'd head to the "Exil", the concert hall's entrance pretty soon, 'cause it started to rain. Inside we queued an hour, found a place next to the boxes on the right (where I usually hide from the rocking crowd to take photos and have my 'peace' from all the concert boom-boom-pow) in the first row soon after we were let in, and found ourselves surrounded by screaming, babbling, super excited fangirls.
(The "große Exil" [big Exile] offers enough space for around 450 people, the location was only filled half yesterday)
The room heats up super fast, so even before the support-act entered the stage, Kathi and I were already sweating loads.
Nevertheless our mood was good.
(FAMP are - from left to right:
Philipp Krikava / Vocals & Guitar, Florian Prem / Bass & Vocals, Martin Schneider / Guitar, Andreas Steiner / Drums)
Around 8PM it was the turn for the support-band "FAMP" to play. I had the bass-player rocking out directly on the box in front of me.
The guys, originally from Vienna, seemed to have a really good time on stage and tried to make the best out of a crowd, who barely moved.
I especially fell for the vocalist's crystal clear voice and the refreshing mixture of rock songs and melodies to daydream to in the summer sun.
Their musical style remembered me a lot of "My American Heart", an american-band that I used to love and who broke up a while ago, unfortunately.
Nevertheless, after the first 2 songs it was already obvious I'd definitely buy their album after the concert
- So I was more than happy about their offer to come over to the merch-table later to buy it.
For more info on them check their web: FAMP OFFICIAL
Or check out the video at the end of this post ;)
(FAMP Live @ Trier - Shoot by Me - Thanks loads to Kathi for lending me her cam, though!)
So tell me what you want me to see
What you want me to be
What you're waiting for
Shortly after 9PM the "Killerpilze" entered the stage.
(Killerpilze are - from left to right:
Maximilian 'Mäx‘ Schlichter / Guitar & Vocals, Johannes 'Jo' Halbig / Vocals & Guitar, Fabian 'Fabi' Halbig / Drums)
Considering that there were only a few people, the atmosphere was 'okay' from the first minute on.
The crowd wasn't going nuts, but everyone definitely had fun. Jo tried over and over to motivate the crowd, the guys jumped and really rocked their lives out.
The setlist was a good mixture of the new album "Grell" and the old albums.
Songs which had made them famous here in Germany and that simply ALWAYS belong to the setlist (such as "Springt Hoch" [Jump high] for the final) HAD to be included as well, of course, and made the concert a real party.
I had a girl filming the first 3 songs for a tour documentary (?) next to me in the beginning, so I was completely stuck between the stage and the huge boxes. I couldn't move back nor forth and my knees started to hurt horribly.
So, I guess I can say I didn't enjoy the concert at all in the first 15 minutes. The blue spots on my knees will surely agree...
Nevertheless, after she was gone and I regained some air to breathe and also a bit of water thanks to a water bottle which the band shared with the crowd, I enjoyed the concert.
A really nice change of pace appeared after 3/4 of the concert had passed. The band played a keyboard/piano version of "KommKommCom" - a song which usually is completely for going nuts and rocking out, but gained a whole new character by being played differently.
Also, considering that many girls in the first row screamed so loud during some of the songs that even the band would state it "sounds like tinnitus", it was nice that they kept their mouths shut during sad/melancholic songs and simply enjoyed the atmosphere.
One of my personal highlights was right before the Encore: the band left the stage, telling the fans to keep singing "Wohohooo..."
- and the crowd would keep singing for a bunch of minutes, instead of screaming for a bonus.
Over all the set covered around 2, if not 2 1/2hours of the evening.
The setlist was as follows:
1. Nimm mich mit
2. Drei
3. Studieren
4. Atomic
5. Ego
6. Rendezvous
7. Erster Zug nach Paris
8. Grell
9. AWITM
10. Am Meer
11. J & S
12. Ferngesteuert
13. Sommerregen
14. Es geht auch um Dich
15. KommKommCom (Special Version)
16. Himmel
Encore:
17. Jäger
18. Lauf
19. Ohne Dich
20. Springt Hoch
I knew in advance that they wouldn't play my favorite song "Letzte Minute", since I had asked them on Twitter about it... still "Himmel", which is a pretty sad song and was played on they keyboard by Jo, made me shiver inside just as much.
Looking back at the concert part of the evening: For the band it was definitely not a success.
Compared to the festivals they have played (maybe soon even the famous German "ROCK AM RING") and the big concert halls they are able to fill in Germany, France, Switzerland and even Greece, Trier was a rather quiet and super tiny crowd
- of which 1/2 of the people had come from France as well.
Seeing this makes me sadly sure they won't play again here another time.
(Jo, completely lost in the song)
(Benny, inofficial Bassist and 4th member of the band)
(Mäx, singing to the crowd)
For Kathi and me it was a fun evening though, finally united during a concert of a band which made us do a lot of crazy things in the past and probably connected us a lot more than many other bands regarding our musical taste. We were completely wasted after the concert. And I was happy like an idiot for every shoot I could take with Kathi's super professional camera, sometimes lying half on the stage and across the guitar boxes to catch a picture, which caused even Mäx (who was directly in front of me) to laugh at me more than once and Jo to complain that I should get down... x'D
(Fabi, shedding his water across the crowd)
Looking then at the "After-Show" part, the whole evening gets a bittersweet taste, though.
Kathi would climb the stage after the band had left to catch the Setlist for me and get herself Fabi's waterbottle. Soon after this we'd make our way to the bar to get a cool coke and sit for a few minutes, before FAMP and the Killerpilze members would approach their Merch-tables to write some autographs and take pictures.
While I was going nuts and afraid of losing my chance for all of this, Kathi told me more than once to calm down, catch a seat and wait. Since I couldn't I went over for a little chit-chat with FAMP first, to buy a CD and get it signed, as well as taking a photo with them.
They'd thank me more than once and state how "cute" it'd be, that I reacted so happy and was jumping around after I got my picture with them xD
(FAMP & Me after the concert)
After this I'd beg Kathi again to make our way to the merch table of the Killerpilze, but she'd point on the ton of French fans in front and sent me to get the Bandshirt that I wanted to buy anyway.
So I went for that, and we finally (!) queued to take a pic with the band. I handed Kathi my camera and she took a shoot, the band seemed tired and was already beginning to get slightly pissed off, so I didn't dare to ask for another picture, since I realized I disliked the pic Kathi had taken...
However, before she even got the chance to give me her cam and get a picture taken too, French fans had taken over the scenery again and again. Taking tons of pictures, asking for autographs, refusing to leave.
We'd wait in the backpart again, hoping they'd leave soon and offer us a chance for a calm talk and autographs.
- Which would never come.
(Killerpilze and me - I don't remember what were laughing about though, 'cause we honestly were laughing xD)
After around 20 minutes I was getting too impatient and made a move to address Mäx and hand first him, later Jo the little autograph-card that I had designed. I was thankful I got some time to talk about the webpage I had made years ago, and Kathi also was able to thank the band for the latest concerts, which had helped her out of a black-part of her life as well.
I asked Jo to write me something personal on the card as well. Maybe something like "for Sandy".
I'd get the card back like this:
("Thanks so much for all of the support <3 KPFamily")
After around half an hour the band started to get super nervous about leaving. They were tired and stated that with many "funny", but more than sarcastical comments, which resulted in me seriously getting pissed off at them.
This got so far, that Jo went on like: "Everyone who has one picture, you're done. Everyone who didn't take a picture yet, come now or never. We wanna leave already..!"
Result? The same French fans taking over the scenery again.
When I went to ask for another picture, since the first one had turned out super dark, I'd apologize and Fabi would fake a smile with the words: "Oh nevermind. We can stand still for picture 125 as well. 1 or 2 seconds more doesn't matter now anyway, I mean we're tired as hell, but that simply doesn't matter..."
I couldn't keep my "Could you keep your sarcasm for yourself, please? It's not welcome at all." locked away inside.
And from that moment on I couldn't wait to get my ass out off the hall. Not because I felt ashamed, but because they began to make me feel uncomfortable and not welcome at all.
I know they had been tired and worn out from the tour, but that's never an excuse to treat fans like leavelets you'd like to sweep out of your way.
And I'll be what you want me to be
Through sun and rain
We shine in fame
I hope that it's simply bad luck that everytime I met them, they were stressed and/or in a hurry to get away.
Kathi and me are thinking to travel to the ROCK AM RING Band Contest in Bochum in 2 weeks, which is an 8hrs travel that would cost me 150€. So they better behave nice this time...
It kinda really wakes you up when you realize that the idols you had as a child are only human as well.
And that their flaws are not always adorable and welcome. Made me really think about music and bandmembers.
- And the fact that you can love music and identify with lyrics, but still become angry at the members who wrote those.
But let's end this entry with the promised music video of FAMP, who left a more than positive impression that eve! ;)
Hilarious how life changes and plays us around like balls.
One day it's bright sunshine, another day it rains.
I've come to a point were most of the time I prefer to live my life instead of just talking about it, though.
Which is why this LJ ended up so abandoned.
If you're still curious about the recent events, feel free to sneak in...
So I am running through the clouds
I'm trying hard, I don't mind
Can I fly? Should I try?
I'm feeling safe in sunshine
The last months have made me reconsider many things in life. I have learned a lot, been forced to make up my mind and I will sooner than I like, have to stand on my own feet. By the middle of June I have to leave the office I am currently in, and get an inview in the planning department. What this means? Even more stress, even more responsability and a lot of self-confidence which I will need.
I reached a point around two weeks ago, where I was so worn out and overburdened, that it turned into frustration.
I failed an exam at school on purpose and ended up really pathetic alone at home in a corner.
All this resulted in endless discussions with my workmates, my boyfriend, many of my friends and my family.
And luckily it made me stronger, instead of breaking me even more.
I understood that I am not a machine and need to become cooler regarding many things. Life IS a constant rollercoaster, the trick is to learn to enjoy even the adrenaline-kicking down parts.
Right now I am in a phase of living my life, planning a lot of stuff, while I actually feel as if I only watch that girl - myself - from the outside.
Little Sandy is alive and she is fighting the rising flood of fears, to not drown in all the insecurities.
She'll probably lose the fight sooner or later, though.
I never before felt so torn about my youth and about who I always wanted to be.
That's basically not a bad thing, it's a normal process of growing up and learning to deal differently with things as an adult, than you used to do when you were a kid. But for a "kid-like" person as I am, it is super hard to grow up after all.
The better for me that the idols of my youth make it easy for me...
Come in, come out,
Come in, come out,
'Cause I, and I just try, the You and I
The You and I
As many of you may know I just recently left my position as the German Streetteam leader for fade, to my precious Ka-Chan.
In the next months I am planning to attend many concerts, trying to get a glimpse on the idols of my youth. Those who had been "with me" through their music, when I was a teenager.
Last night an old Highschool friend, her name is Kathi, and I attended the concert of a german band called "Killerpilze".
This band has been together since over 10 years now. The members are all around our age and I am "with them" since around 6 years of their career now.
I had a web about them, since one of their songs had a deep impact on me in 2007 and made it possible for me to overcome a bitter loss and I wanted to give them something back. They have a super "fan-friendly" image and so I was eager to meet them around that time.
My good luck was, that I wouldn't meet them until 2010. First in Darmstadt. Then in 2012 in Prüm for my birthday.
And yesterday again.
And with each meeting I'd feel more and more disappointed...
The karma's all gotta lose
The drama's all I will abuse
Can I fly? Should I try?
I'm feeling safe in sunshine
Nevertheless, let's start from the beginning...
(Exzellenhaus Trier from the outside - a place for the youth to meet and hang out, but also for concerts)
Kathi and me would be having a walk around Trier before the concert. We'd arrive at the venue around 6PM, one hour before doors opened. Besides some French fans, who are completely obsessed with the Killerpilze and are known to travel continents to see them, if necessary, plus being super clingy and -sorry but they are- annoying, we were the first ones around.
We'd head to the "Exil", the concert hall's entrance pretty soon, 'cause it started to rain. Inside we queued an hour, found a place next to the boxes on the right (where I usually hide from the rocking crowd to take photos and have my 'peace' from all the concert boom-boom-pow) in the first row soon after we were let in, and found ourselves surrounded by screaming, babbling, super excited fangirls.
(The "große Exil" [big Exile] offers enough space for around 450 people, the location was only filled half yesterday)
The room heats up super fast, so even before the support-act entered the stage, Kathi and I were already sweating loads.
Nevertheless our mood was good.
(FAMP are - from left to right:
Philipp Krikava / Vocals & Guitar, Florian Prem / Bass & Vocals, Martin Schneider / Guitar, Andreas Steiner / Drums)
Around 8PM it was the turn for the support-band "FAMP" to play. I had the bass-player rocking out directly on the box in front of me.
The guys, originally from Vienna, seemed to have a really good time on stage and tried to make the best out of a crowd, who barely moved.
I especially fell for the vocalist's crystal clear voice and the refreshing mixture of rock songs and melodies to daydream to in the summer sun.
Their musical style remembered me a lot of "My American Heart", an american-band that I used to love and who broke up a while ago, unfortunately.
Nevertheless, after the first 2 songs it was already obvious I'd definitely buy their album after the concert
- So I was more than happy about their offer to come over to the merch-table later to buy it.
For more info on them check their web: FAMP OFFICIAL
Or check out the video at the end of this post ;)
(FAMP Live @ Trier - Shoot by Me - Thanks loads to Kathi for lending me her cam, though!)
So tell me what you want me to see
What you want me to be
What you're waiting for
Shortly after 9PM the "Killerpilze" entered the stage.
(Killerpilze are - from left to right:
Maximilian 'Mäx‘ Schlichter / Guitar & Vocals, Johannes 'Jo' Halbig / Vocals & Guitar, Fabian 'Fabi' Halbig / Drums)
Considering that there were only a few people, the atmosphere was 'okay' from the first minute on.
The crowd wasn't going nuts, but everyone definitely had fun. Jo tried over and over to motivate the crowd, the guys jumped and really rocked their lives out.
The setlist was a good mixture of the new album "Grell" and the old albums.
Songs which had made them famous here in Germany and that simply ALWAYS belong to the setlist (such as "Springt Hoch" [Jump high] for the final) HAD to be included as well, of course, and made the concert a real party.
I had a girl filming the first 3 songs for a tour documentary (?) next to me in the beginning, so I was completely stuck between the stage and the huge boxes. I couldn't move back nor forth and my knees started to hurt horribly.
So, I guess I can say I didn't enjoy the concert at all in the first 15 minutes. The blue spots on my knees will surely agree...
Nevertheless, after she was gone and I regained some air to breathe and also a bit of water thanks to a water bottle which the band shared with the crowd, I enjoyed the concert.
A really nice change of pace appeared after 3/4 of the concert had passed. The band played a keyboard/piano version of "KommKommCom" - a song which usually is completely for going nuts and rocking out, but gained a whole new character by being played differently.
Also, considering that many girls in the first row screamed so loud during some of the songs that even the band would state it "sounds like tinnitus", it was nice that they kept their mouths shut during sad/melancholic songs and simply enjoyed the atmosphere.
One of my personal highlights was right before the Encore: the band left the stage, telling the fans to keep singing "Wohohooo..."
- and the crowd would keep singing for a bunch of minutes, instead of screaming for a bonus.
Over all the set covered around 2, if not 2 1/2hours of the evening.
The setlist was as follows:
1. Nimm mich mit
2. Drei
3. Studieren
4. Atomic
5. Ego
6. Rendezvous
7. Erster Zug nach Paris
8. Grell
9. AWITM
10. Am Meer
11. J & S
12. Ferngesteuert
13. Sommerregen
14. Es geht auch um Dich
15. KommKommCom (Special Version)
16. Himmel
Encore:
17. Jäger
18. Lauf
19. Ohne Dich
20. Springt Hoch
I knew in advance that they wouldn't play my favorite song "Letzte Minute", since I had asked them on Twitter about it... still "Himmel", which is a pretty sad song and was played on they keyboard by Jo, made me shiver inside just as much.
Looking back at the concert part of the evening: For the band it was definitely not a success.
Compared to the festivals they have played (maybe soon even the famous German "ROCK AM RING") and the big concert halls they are able to fill in Germany, France, Switzerland and even Greece, Trier was a rather quiet and super tiny crowd
- of which 1/2 of the people had come from France as well.
Seeing this makes me sadly sure they won't play again here another time.
(Jo, completely lost in the song)
(Benny, inofficial Bassist and 4th member of the band)
(Mäx, singing to the crowd)
For Kathi and me it was a fun evening though, finally united during a concert of a band which made us do a lot of crazy things in the past and probably connected us a lot more than many other bands regarding our musical taste. We were completely wasted after the concert. And I was happy like an idiot for every shoot I could take with Kathi's super professional camera, sometimes lying half on the stage and across the guitar boxes to catch a picture, which caused even Mäx (who was directly in front of me) to laugh at me more than once and Jo to complain that I should get down... x'D
(Fabi, shedding his water across the crowd)
Looking then at the "After-Show" part, the whole evening gets a bittersweet taste, though.
Kathi would climb the stage after the band had left to catch the Setlist for me and get herself Fabi's waterbottle. Soon after this we'd make our way to the bar to get a cool coke and sit for a few minutes, before FAMP and the Killerpilze members would approach their Merch-tables to write some autographs and take pictures.
While I was going nuts and afraid of losing my chance for all of this, Kathi told me more than once to calm down, catch a seat and wait. Since I couldn't I went over for a little chit-chat with FAMP first, to buy a CD and get it signed, as well as taking a photo with them.
They'd thank me more than once and state how "cute" it'd be, that I reacted so happy and was jumping around after I got my picture with them xD
(FAMP & Me after the concert)
After this I'd beg Kathi again to make our way to the merch table of the Killerpilze, but she'd point on the ton of French fans in front and sent me to get the Bandshirt that I wanted to buy anyway.
So I went for that, and we finally (!) queued to take a pic with the band. I handed Kathi my camera and she took a shoot, the band seemed tired and was already beginning to get slightly pissed off, so I didn't dare to ask for another picture, since I realized I disliked the pic Kathi had taken...
However, before she even got the chance to give me her cam and get a picture taken too, French fans had taken over the scenery again and again. Taking tons of pictures, asking for autographs, refusing to leave.
We'd wait in the backpart again, hoping they'd leave soon and offer us a chance for a calm talk and autographs.
- Which would never come.
(Killerpilze and me - I don't remember what were laughing about though, 'cause we honestly were laughing xD)
After around 20 minutes I was getting too impatient and made a move to address Mäx and hand first him, later Jo the little autograph-card that I had designed. I was thankful I got some time to talk about the webpage I had made years ago, and Kathi also was able to thank the band for the latest concerts, which had helped her out of a black-part of her life as well.
I asked Jo to write me something personal on the card as well. Maybe something like "for Sandy".
I'd get the card back like this:
("Thanks so much for all of the support <3 KPFamily")
After around half an hour the band started to get super nervous about leaving. They were tired and stated that with many "funny", but more than sarcastical comments, which resulted in me seriously getting pissed off at them.
This got so far, that Jo went on like: "Everyone who has one picture, you're done. Everyone who didn't take a picture yet, come now or never. We wanna leave already..!"
Result? The same French fans taking over the scenery again.
When I went to ask for another picture, since the first one had turned out super dark, I'd apologize and Fabi would fake a smile with the words: "Oh nevermind. We can stand still for picture 125 as well. 1 or 2 seconds more doesn't matter now anyway, I mean we're tired as hell, but that simply doesn't matter..."
I couldn't keep my "Could you keep your sarcasm for yourself, please? It's not welcome at all." locked away inside.
And from that moment on I couldn't wait to get my ass out off the hall. Not because I felt ashamed, but because they began to make me feel uncomfortable and not welcome at all.
I know they had been tired and worn out from the tour, but that's never an excuse to treat fans like leavelets you'd like to sweep out of your way.
And I'll be what you want me to be
Through sun and rain
We shine in fame
I hope that it's simply bad luck that everytime I met them, they were stressed and/or in a hurry to get away.
Kathi and me are thinking to travel to the ROCK AM RING Band Contest in Bochum in 2 weeks, which is an 8hrs travel that would cost me 150€. So they better behave nice this time...
It kinda really wakes you up when you realize that the idols you had as a child are only human as well.
And that their flaws are not always adorable and welcome. Made me really think about music and bandmembers.
- And the fact that you can love music and identify with lyrics, but still become angry at the members who wrote those.
But let's end this entry with the promised music video of FAMP, who left a more than positive impression that eve! ;)
Click to view