Flight on broken wings - I surrender...
I'm on my way
I'm on my way to lose it all
I'm a stranger to myself, I can't go on
I'm all outta space
And I'm surrounded by the wall
I believe that my mind has caught a million stormsIt's been seven days now ( Read more... )
Besides this:
If you want me to see anything else than the reflection of the Photo from July in the mirror and the wreck that I have become: Force me to break it.
I have never been able to abandon ANYONE in my entire life. Despite the way they acted, despite the things that happened or what they did to me.
If you want me to let go, turn your back on me. Leave. And never look back.
Block my possibilities to look for you and run.
But believe me I’d still look for you and believe me I’d still not let go.
I have never really lost anyone out of my life.
And relying is something that is a part of me. I am sorry to say so. But I am that way.
NO matter if it's healthy or unhealthy, no matter if it hurts or does me good
- I live for others and with others and depending ON others.
I don’t have wings. And you managed to make me sure that I really - never - want to grow any. Even my tattoo wish died.
Of course I know I have people on my left and right. They WALK beside me.
And they have tears in their eyes lately. I can see them clearly.
But they know about my situation and they know why I act the way I act.
And they understand it - without blaming me for it.
You say you are visible in that mirror.
And that my mirror is full of fog of my own breath.
- But my mirror isn’t blinded. It never was. I can see completely clear.
Yet, all I see is the reflection of that photo. Of the smile on your face. Of the person you used to be and are no more.
I am looking way too closely over and over again trying to find a prove that I am wrong and that this smile is still somewhere there - hidden behind your words. But it slipped away. And so did mine.
We're not much alike anymore.
We're more like day and night.
We are both human, both breathing the same air - but by now I think that's were the similarities end.
And if you taught me one thing, then that dreams should stay dreams forever.
They turn into nightmares when they come true.
“We're drifting apart
But I want you to know
Wherever you are I belong
Death sings our song
And we eagerly sing along
Wherever you go - I will follow…
So please don't let it
Please don't let it go
'Cause if you won't let it, I won't let it go”
If you think I don’t understand, then you completely have no idea of who I am.
I understand perfectly well. Every single word you said. And there was not even one really harsh one after all. Harsh words would hurt. I feel nothing of that.
It simply makes me even more sad.
Maybe you will find a way to understand MY words one day.
Maybe you will understand that a friend - can not - accept a thing like this.
It would definitely be a pity if you didn’t, even if I know my words as usual don’t change a goddamn thing, so maybe I should just shut up already.
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It's no use. I should really accept that. I do accept it. There is nothing I can do. Nothing. So I'll not bother you with it again.
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