Flight on broken wings - I surrender...
I'm on my way
I'm on my way to lose it all
I'm a stranger to myself, I can't go on
I'm all outta space
And I'm surrounded by the wall
I believe that my mind has caught a million storms
It's been seven days now.
Seven days that have changed my life completely from grey and sometimes white, to an eternal black.
And I may be exaggerating, but I attach to people way more than I should, especially to those which I consider almost like a family I have chosen. I can't accept anyone leaving. And I don't want to.
Falling down
When you lose all that you are
A couple of nights ago, when finally I managed to find some sleep, I dreamed I was floating high up in the air.
Then I recognized I wasn't flying by myself, but I had Jon on my left, who had one huge white wing, which kept him up, when holding my left hand, because on my right, there were you. With one black wing you were smiling back at me brightly, assuring me it would be fine to fly a bit higher.
So the three of us did, and I felt protected and save with the two of you by my side.
Until your smile slipped down from your face from one second to another, and you simply let go of my hand.
I was under shock, but managed to grab your wing - all I got before you flew higher and vanished into dark, rain clouds was one of your black feathers.
I surrender...
I kneal down
Jon reacted instantly, by grabbing my right hand and trying to flatter with that white wing even more to keep us both in the air.
But wings work correctly only in a pair, so we fell. Fast. Towards the ground.
I realized, if I kept him fighting for me we'd both die, so shortly before we hit the ground I mumbled an: "I'm sorry" and shock his hand off.
The last thing I saw before I hit the ground?
The despair and shock in Jon's eyes - and that one black feather that I still had in my right hand.
I'm outta faith
I think I'm a frail design of life
Deep inside in denial
The shades have grown in silence
I hide my face
I close my eye's
Deep inside in my mind
The pain has grown around me
A day later I realized, that somehow you were always the black wing for me.
And when coming home I found fade's new Tour Shirt - on the front? A barely visible, but clearly white wing.
A coincidence?
I don't know.
But what I do know is how much bitter truth that dream contained from my perspective.
I ain't gonna rescue myself, I'd always choose everyone else above me.
And once you leave, I am not gonna be rescued by anyone either.
It doesn't even work now.
Falling down
When you lose all that you are
You say there are things left to be done.
What am I to say?
I see us both drowning - but I've never dropped to swim. What I am worried about is that you sink deeper and deeper and I don't know how much longer I will be able to keep us both afloat.
I am afraid to shake your hand off, I don't want to. It really is against everything I have ever been told.
So I rather let us both drown together than letting go.
This war isn't over.
It has only just begun.
And I am going to use every weapon to save you. May it cost my life. Or may it even end up with us arguying.
At least, I tried.
It's just a matter of time...
I have a reason to hold on after all.
I surrender...
I kneal down
I'm dying to find a reason to hold on.
[Lyrics: Entwine - Surrender]