I have those thoughts too sometime. It's refreshing to know someone else does.
But really, I have to agree with anonymous here, and with yourself (though I don't know if you thought of it this way). Every single thing you do has the chance to make a difference, and does make a difference, especially when dealing with other people. What if I decided when we moved I wanted to go to Cary instead of Apex? Hell, that's even bigger than what I'm thinking, what if, say, you hadn't said hi to me the first day we met, or what if I hadn't bumped into so-and-so, or what if I didn't have this person in my class...would I be the same person?
For instance, Ms. Chenet obviously fucked up with my Governor's school stuff in not giving me the chance to even apply (stupid bitch). But in hindsight, I was able to do Massanetta this summer, and that changed my life. I've met people I can't imagine not knowing, people that I consider among my closest friends.
Or even something less obvious. What if, on an impulse, you decided to, say, refill your drink at Taco Bell or something. That delayed you by 30 seconds from leaving, which delayed you from arriving at an intersection where a drunk driver went through a red-light going 60 and would have killed you had you not gotten the drink.
And there's so many instances like that that you can't base your life around thinking of the consequences. So many innocent, good intentioned actions end up with bad consequences, but you can never know what they are.
Ok, I know that's slightly different than what you were going for, but the point is that with just a smile or a compliment (or a frown or insult for that matter), you can change a part of a person's day enough that could affect the rest of their life. But everything's like that. And I think we just have to accept that.
But really, I have to agree with anonymous here, and with yourself (though I don't know if you thought of it this way). Every single thing you do has the chance to make a difference, and does make a difference, especially when dealing with other people. What if I decided when we moved I wanted to go to Cary instead of Apex? Hell, that's even bigger than what I'm thinking, what if, say, you hadn't said hi to me the first day we met, or what if I hadn't bumped into so-and-so, or what if I didn't have this person in my class...would I be the same person?
For instance, Ms. Chenet obviously fucked up with my Governor's school stuff in not giving me the chance to even apply (stupid bitch). But in hindsight, I was able to do Massanetta this summer, and that changed my life. I've met people I can't imagine not knowing, people that I consider among my closest friends.
Or even something less obvious. What if, on an impulse, you decided to, say, refill your drink at Taco Bell or something. That delayed you by 30 seconds from leaving, which delayed you from arriving at an intersection where a drunk driver went through a red-light going 60 and would have killed you had you not gotten the drink.
And there's so many instances like that that you can't base your life around thinking of the consequences. So many innocent, good intentioned actions end up with bad consequences, but you can never know what they are.
Ok, I know that's slightly different than what you were going for, but the point is that with just a smile or a compliment (or a frown or insult for that matter), you can change a part of a person's day enough that could affect the rest of their life. But everything's like that. And I think we just have to accept that.
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I love you Joseph Welker.
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