Down Fandom Memory Lane
I just wrote twenty lines of heroic couplets about reality television. I've had too much caffeine, it's one o'clock in the morning, I should be finishing my imitatio and going back to sleep, but no, I came back to lj and skipthedemon is talking about The X-Files, and now I'm thinking about The X-Files, and when was the last time that led to anything but badness? Probably in spring of 2000 before I was overwhelmed by the bitterness.
Six years. That's how long my affair with XF lasted, and I was just a lurker then, so I didn't have fandom to keep me sane (that's what you guys do you know, you give me an outlet for the crazy. When the crazy doesn't have an outlet, whoo boy, look out, just ask my rl friends. They're on here. They're reading this and nodding vehemently). About a week ago, I bought the complete run of Harsh Realm. Harsh Realm was Chris Carter's third show, but it was cancelled very quickly and I never got to see all the episodes. It's pretty much Chris Carter's Firefly. I am afraid to watch it. I have never bought any seasons of XF on dvd. I do have the movie (of course), but I haven't watched it in years. We don't talk about the fact that I still have every episode of the first eight seasons on tape at my parents house. People have been talking about it lately though, and there are episodes I suddenly want to watch. I've been telling mylinoleum about "Post-Modern Prometheus."
So I want to watch these things, which can only lead to an X-Files relapse which can only lead to a return of the bitter, which does not mix well with the crazy.
I know I've said this before, but I swear I didn't know that shows ought to have continuity before I started really paying attention to BtVS. I complain about Joss, but then I remember. Sometimes fandoms are like relationships. There's new love; there are affairs; and then there are abusive relationships. Fuck you Chris Carter! I'm with Joss now, you will NEVER GET ME AGAIN. Except . . . I just bought Harsh Realm and if he ever did anything else, I'd probably be all over it. I'm a lost cause. And lets not talk about the fact that Mulder/Scully was my original OTP before I really understood the concept of unconventional pairings, because that hurts. I did move on to Marita/Krycek, probably in hindsight because 1)in love with Krycek 2)I could make it up in my head since they didn't ever get enough screentime. I actually didn't stop watching completely until they killed Krycek off, and that was about a season after I started to get seriously annoyed. And that was about two seasons after everybody else started to get seriously annoyed. See, I am really very forgiving. I didn't hate BtVS s7, or Cordy in AtS s3, or QaF s4, or even, after everything, the XF series final. See, very forgiving, but killing Krycek? So not cool, and I don't care about the meta - Nick Lea stuff. Don't care. If anybody was gonna come out of that show alive, it should have been Krycek.
I'm bitter, but I love the show still or I wouldn't be.
And I really, really want watch it right now.
Why does that feel a little like falling off the wagon?
Six years. That's how long my affair with XF lasted, and I was just a lurker then, so I didn't have fandom to keep me sane (that's what you guys do you know, you give me an outlet for the crazy. When the crazy doesn't have an outlet, whoo boy, look out, just ask my rl friends. They're on here. They're reading this and nodding vehemently). About a week ago, I bought the complete run of Harsh Realm. Harsh Realm was Chris Carter's third show, but it was cancelled very quickly and I never got to see all the episodes. It's pretty much Chris Carter's Firefly. I am afraid to watch it. I have never bought any seasons of XF on dvd. I do have the movie (of course), but I haven't watched it in years. We don't talk about the fact that I still have every episode of the first eight seasons on tape at my parents house. People have been talking about it lately though, and there are episodes I suddenly want to watch. I've been telling mylinoleum about "Post-Modern Prometheus."
So I want to watch these things, which can only lead to an X-Files relapse which can only lead to a return of the bitter, which does not mix well with the crazy.
I know I've said this before, but I swear I didn't know that shows ought to have continuity before I started really paying attention to BtVS. I complain about Joss, but then I remember. Sometimes fandoms are like relationships. There's new love; there are affairs; and then there are abusive relationships. Fuck you Chris Carter! I'm with Joss now, you will NEVER GET ME AGAIN. Except . . . I just bought Harsh Realm and if he ever did anything else, I'd probably be all over it. I'm a lost cause. And lets not talk about the fact that Mulder/Scully was my original OTP before I really understood the concept of unconventional pairings, because that hurts. I did move on to Marita/Krycek, probably in hindsight because 1)in love with Krycek 2)I could make it up in my head since they didn't ever get enough screentime. I actually didn't stop watching completely until they killed Krycek off, and that was about a season after I started to get seriously annoyed. And that was about two seasons after everybody else started to get seriously annoyed. See, I am really very forgiving. I didn't hate BtVS s7, or Cordy in AtS s3, or QaF s4, or even, after everything, the XF series final. See, very forgiving, but killing Krycek? So not cool, and I don't care about the meta - Nick Lea stuff. Don't care. If anybody was gonna come out of that show alive, it should have been Krycek.
I'm bitter, but I love the show still or I wouldn't be.
And I really, really want watch it right now.
Why does that feel a little like falling off the wagon?