[better off with a really good lie]
Ok! So Yuletide reveals went up awhile ago, but I was in Florida, and then I was here but not really online because I was having a really random QaF fannish relapse,* so. I don't even know what that was about. *hands*
Anyway! This post is not about that; it's about Yuletide. This was my first Yuletide ever and it was fun and relatively painless. (Not completely painless, mind you, but by far less painful than I anticipated given the way I am prone to working myself into a stressed out mess over fic exchanges). I received The End of Fear is Where We Begin by katayla and I know I recced it before, but I really adore it and I wish it would happen for Barney and Robin on the show just like this.
I wrote Against Promise - Pretty Little Liars, Emily/Alison and Emily/Maya.
I spent a lot of the time freaking out about it pretty extravagantly before I sent it to my betas (which I did way too late), describing it as "fairly typical of me in the jumping around the time line and angstangstangst." And it's true that I think it has most of my tells, and all of the little tricks I fall into by instinct when I'm not paying attention. I write angst, even when I don't mean to, and in this case I think it would have been difficult to avoid when writing about Alison, but looking back when I'm not panicked and sleep deprived from fever, I'm pretty pleased with this fic. When I got my assignment I was thrilled to get a Pretty Little Liars request. These are characters I enjoy and who I wanted to explore further and that's true not just of Alison, Emily and Maya, but also of Spencer, Hanna and Aria. Hanna I especially love (and not just because I project all over her from her name on out) and Spencer and Alison's dynamic is one of the most interesting on the show to me. I was happy to be writing a fic in this fandom, and while it's the first I don't think it will be the last, especially now that the show is back.
But what I want to talk about in this post is only sort of tangentially about the fic, and mostly about the show itself and about Alison. You guys, I fucking love Alison. Or maybe it's fairer to say that she's a trope I love. She's charming, she's popular, she's confident to the point of conceit, she's beautiful. She's selfish and manipulative, not great with emotion and kind of an asshole. But the hints are that she's loyal when it matters and does what she feels she has to. She's unapologetically sexual. I do have a character type.
Of course, she's also obviously the narrative descendant of Laura Palmer and Lilly Kane, so she's dead. Guys get to be that character all the time, but girls really very rarely do without being punished for it or being a villain. (Seriously, all I want is a female character who gets to be all of that and who gets to the unquestioned protagonist. And here's where anyone who knows me says, "But Blair!" And yes, Blair Waldorf is close. She's not quite what I'm talking about, but she's close and I do love her).
Alison, of course, is punished for it. I know she's not the most nuanced of characters - more an archetype than anything - but Alison is interesting to me almost because of the ways she's kind of flat.
elucidate_this said something in her beta comments about Alison on the show "not getting to be human much." And that is very true, and I do wish I'd managed to highlight her human side a bit more in the fic. On the other hand, her "flatness" as a character makes her interesting to me. Her friends so clearly have a deep loyalty to her and are so deeply scarred by her loss, despite (or partially because of?) how angry they still are with her. I love the memorial episode - the speeches all the girls give, and Spencer's confrontation with Jenna about how they and Alison deserve the memorial, the way she says "we did love her." It's implied that Spencer had the most fraught relationship with Alison, but she's also the most defensive of her memory, and you guys, I know it is SO POSSIBLE that I am handwaving an epic case of "telling not showing" in that we're told they loved her and were all close, but we mostly only *see* Ali being an asshole. But that tension between their mourning/how much they miss her and how *angry* with (and a little afraid of) her they are, is maybe the most interesting thing about the show for me.
This is partly because of the way I think it keeps Alison as an active character. Is she really gone? Is she A? Is she (still) a threat? Is she a protagonist or antagonist? I haven't read the books and I have no idea where the show is going (and I know I may end up disappointed), but so far Alison isn't Laura Palmer or Lilly Kane. She's not just the dead girl to be avenged. The mystery is not as simple as "Who Killed Alison DiLaurentis?" and I'm glad of that. I would like to see her have some more nuance, though. My new favorite scene in the entire show (except maybe the part where Emily and Maya make out in the movie theater :) ) is the conversation between Alison (ghost/hallucination/whatever) and Hanna in the hospital in the most recent episode. It's so unclear what's going on, but that was such a kinder side to Alison. Even if Hanna's imagining it, it's coming from somewhere.
Anyway, I don't know. I had a whole lot more to this post in my head, but then I realized that if I waited until I felt like writing the entire essay in my head down, I wouldn't do it at all. I am excited for the rest of this season! There is a lot about this show that is kind of bad, I am aware! But there is a lot more about it that I love.
*I was calling it a "renaissance," but no, it's more like a relapse. QaF is always going to be of those fandoms where you're like "oh, I'll watch an episode" and then you come to your senses God-only-knows how long later, feeling dazed and slightly hung over and wondering where you are and what day it is. And you don't even care that it's *also* one of those fannish texts where the writers clearly believe that continuity and nuance are for quitters because it is so emotionally satisfying in the sense that it is essentially over-the-top hurt/comfort id!fic brought to LIFE. There is pretty much actualfax healing cock. I'd...forgotten that.
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Anyway! This post is not about that; it's about Yuletide. This was my first Yuletide ever and it was fun and relatively painless. (Not completely painless, mind you, but by far less painful than I anticipated given the way I am prone to working myself into a stressed out mess over fic exchanges). I received The End of Fear is Where We Begin by katayla and I know I recced it before, but I really adore it and I wish it would happen for Barney and Robin on the show just like this.
I wrote Against Promise - Pretty Little Liars, Emily/Alison and Emily/Maya.
I spent a lot of the time freaking out about it pretty extravagantly before I sent it to my betas (which I did way too late), describing it as "fairly typical of me in the jumping around the time line and angstangstangst." And it's true that I think it has most of my tells, and all of the little tricks I fall into by instinct when I'm not paying attention. I write angst, even when I don't mean to, and in this case I think it would have been difficult to avoid when writing about Alison, but looking back when I'm not panicked and sleep deprived from fever, I'm pretty pleased with this fic. When I got my assignment I was thrilled to get a Pretty Little Liars request. These are characters I enjoy and who I wanted to explore further and that's true not just of Alison, Emily and Maya, but also of Spencer, Hanna and Aria. Hanna I especially love (and not just because I project all over her from her name on out) and Spencer and Alison's dynamic is one of the most interesting on the show to me. I was happy to be writing a fic in this fandom, and while it's the first I don't think it will be the last, especially now that the show is back.
But what I want to talk about in this post is only sort of tangentially about the fic, and mostly about the show itself and about Alison. You guys, I fucking love Alison. Or maybe it's fairer to say that she's a trope I love. She's charming, she's popular, she's confident to the point of conceit, she's beautiful. She's selfish and manipulative, not great with emotion and kind of an asshole. But the hints are that she's loyal when it matters and does what she feels she has to. She's unapologetically sexual. I do have a character type.
Of course, she's also obviously the narrative descendant of Laura Palmer and Lilly Kane, so she's dead. Guys get to be that character all the time, but girls really very rarely do without being punished for it or being a villain. (Seriously, all I want is a female character who gets to be all of that and who gets to the unquestioned protagonist. And here's where anyone who knows me says, "But Blair!" And yes, Blair Waldorf is close. She's not quite what I'm talking about, but she's close and I do love her).
Alison, of course, is punished for it. I know she's not the most nuanced of characters - more an archetype than anything - but Alison is interesting to me almost because of the ways she's kind of flat.
elucidate_this said something in her beta comments about Alison on the show "not getting to be human much." And that is very true, and I do wish I'd managed to highlight her human side a bit more in the fic. On the other hand, her "flatness" as a character makes her interesting to me. Her friends so clearly have a deep loyalty to her and are so deeply scarred by her loss, despite (or partially because of?) how angry they still are with her. I love the memorial episode - the speeches all the girls give, and Spencer's confrontation with Jenna about how they and Alison deserve the memorial, the way she says "we did love her." It's implied that Spencer had the most fraught relationship with Alison, but she's also the most defensive of her memory, and you guys, I know it is SO POSSIBLE that I am handwaving an epic case of "telling not showing" in that we're told they loved her and were all close, but we mostly only *see* Ali being an asshole. But that tension between their mourning/how much they miss her and how *angry* with (and a little afraid of) her they are, is maybe the most interesting thing about the show for me.
This is partly because of the way I think it keeps Alison as an active character. Is she really gone? Is she A? Is she (still) a threat? Is she a protagonist or antagonist? I haven't read the books and I have no idea where the show is going (and I know I may end up disappointed), but so far Alison isn't Laura Palmer or Lilly Kane. She's not just the dead girl to be avenged. The mystery is not as simple as "Who Killed Alison DiLaurentis?" and I'm glad of that. I would like to see her have some more nuance, though. My new favorite scene in the entire show (except maybe the part where Emily and Maya make out in the movie theater :) ) is the conversation between Alison (ghost/hallucination/whatever) and Hanna in the hospital in the most recent episode. It's so unclear what's going on, but that was such a kinder side to Alison. Even if Hanna's imagining it, it's coming from somewhere.
Anyway, I don't know. I had a whole lot more to this post in my head, but then I realized that if I waited until I felt like writing the entire essay in my head down, I wouldn't do it at all. I am excited for the rest of this season! There is a lot about this show that is kind of bad, I am aware! But there is a lot more about it that I love.
*I was calling it a "renaissance," but no, it's more like a relapse. QaF is always going to be of those fandoms where you're like "oh, I'll watch an episode" and then you come to your senses God-only-knows how long later, feeling dazed and slightly hung over and wondering where you are and what day it is. And you don't even care that it's *also* one of those fannish texts where the writers clearly believe that continuity and nuance are for quitters because it is so emotionally satisfying in the sense that it is essentially over-the-top hurt/comfort id!fic brought to LIFE. There is pretty much actualfax healing cock. I'd...forgotten that.
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