Favorite Fic Meme v 2.0
This meme was going around awhile back and I got tagged by lynnenne and then I never did it because I wasn't doing much of anything except running in circles freaking out about school work. I did the meme about a year and a half ago, and I haven't written all that much since then because, as per my usual output, I finish about two fics a year. However, right now I'm not freaking out about school work quite so much since most of my major stuff actually ended up being due before Thanksgiving and I'm procrastinating on the stuff that's left. Seemed like a good time to randomly respond to this meme.
1) Show an Affirming Flame (BSG, Athena)
This was first on my list last time and at the time I thought that maybe it was just that the shine hadn't worn off yet, but no, I really, honestly believe that this is the best fic I've ever written. I know this meme is supposed to be about our favorites and not what we think is best, but that actually makes it my favorite. I have a problem, on some level, with every other fic I've ever written. Even if I like them, there's something that bugs me. This is the only one I go back to and feel like I got it completely right. (The title is wrong though. I still regret not calling it "Simulacra").
2)Of Infinite Space (BtVS/AtS, Angel/Buffy/Spike/Faith - in every possible combination)
This fic took two years and lots of pain. I basically wanted to take everything I saw in those four characters and the messiness of their relationships with each other and their patterns and just lay it out. And I do feel that everything I'd never quite been able to say about them in other places did come out here. It was an incredibly cathartic fic, in a lot of ways. (Someday I am going to write the Buffy/Faith prequel, even if there's nobody left to read it by then. SOMEONE HOLD ME TO THIS).
3) Unreliable Narrators (Bandom:PatD, Brendon/Ryan)
First RPF fic, and still the longest fic I've ever written posted, closest I've ever come to actually writing sex. I would also describe this fic as cathartic. I have Opinions about this ship and also about Ryan Ross and it was really one of those "write it down and it might go away" situations. It hasn't gone away completely, but it's good to have it on paper instead of just in my head. And I'm proud of it - there are a few little things that don't thrill me in hindsight, but overall, this is the kind of fic that I like to read, with the slow-build and the UST and the angst. It's the kind of fic that I cannot get enough of (in any fandom. ever.) but up until this point never thought I could write. It was nice to prove myself wrong.
4) Chances Are (Bandom: Cobra Starship, Gabe/Vicky-T)
This fic is about Gabe Saporta and his existential angst. Yeah, uh. Isn't that reason enough?
5) Anamnesis (AtS, Angel/Spike)
This was on the list last time too and then I said: "I love this one because A/S is my OTP, but I couldn't write them for the longest time. And then I could. I wrote them as I saw them, which sometimes I don't think is quite how other people see them. But it worked. And it made me happy. This fic makes me happy. I got several comments as to how it's about cold comfort and to a certain extent it is, but really, for me, it's about them coming back together and it's pretty hopeful, actually. Which is not how anyone else has to read it, of course, but that's how it is in my head."
That remains more or less true. I feel really strongly about A/S, even now - to the point that I hardly ever read fic about them even when I find it because I'm just too bizarrely picky and there are too few people who do it right and when it's wrong (for my own arbitrary values of wrong) I find it upsetting. I'm not necessarily all that good at articulating how they are in my head either, but I feel like I came close here.
The runner-up has to be All That's Best of Dark and Bright because that's the one that still reminds me, to this day, of the ways that the Angel/Buffyverse is still the fandom of my heart. I don't have a lot to say about it these days and clearly I love other things (most notably silly boys in bands) passionately and to distraction, but BtVS was my first truly participatory fandom, and you don't forget your first love. ♥ (I've been reading the IWRY stories. Can you tell?)
Everybody did this back when it was making the rounds, right? I can never remember who's been tagged and who hasn't. I tag whoever hasn't done it yet.
1) Show an Affirming Flame (BSG, Athena)
This was first on my list last time and at the time I thought that maybe it was just that the shine hadn't worn off yet, but no, I really, honestly believe that this is the best fic I've ever written. I know this meme is supposed to be about our favorites and not what we think is best, but that actually makes it my favorite. I have a problem, on some level, with every other fic I've ever written. Even if I like them, there's something that bugs me. This is the only one I go back to and feel like I got it completely right. (The title is wrong though. I still regret not calling it "Simulacra").
2)Of Infinite Space (BtVS/AtS, Angel/Buffy/Spike/Faith - in every possible combination)
This fic took two years and lots of pain. I basically wanted to take everything I saw in those four characters and the messiness of their relationships with each other and their patterns and just lay it out. And I do feel that everything I'd never quite been able to say about them in other places did come out here. It was an incredibly cathartic fic, in a lot of ways. (Someday I am going to write the Buffy/Faith prequel, even if there's nobody left to read it by then. SOMEONE HOLD ME TO THIS).
3) Unreliable Narrators (Bandom:PatD, Brendon/Ryan)
First RPF fic, and still the longest fic I've ever written posted, closest I've ever come to actually writing sex. I would also describe this fic as cathartic. I have Opinions about this ship and also about Ryan Ross and it was really one of those "write it down and it might go away" situations. It hasn't gone away completely, but it's good to have it on paper instead of just in my head. And I'm proud of it - there are a few little things that don't thrill me in hindsight, but overall, this is the kind of fic that I like to read, with the slow-build and the UST and the angst. It's the kind of fic that I cannot get enough of (in any fandom. ever.) but up until this point never thought I could write. It was nice to prove myself wrong.
4) Chances Are (Bandom: Cobra Starship, Gabe/Vicky-T)
This fic is about Gabe Saporta and his existential angst. Yeah, uh. Isn't that reason enough?
5) Anamnesis (AtS, Angel/Spike)
This was on the list last time too and then I said: "I love this one because A/S is my OTP, but I couldn't write them for the longest time. And then I could. I wrote them as I saw them, which sometimes I don't think is quite how other people see them. But it worked. And it made me happy. This fic makes me happy. I got several comments as to how it's about cold comfort and to a certain extent it is, but really, for me, it's about them coming back together and it's pretty hopeful, actually. Which is not how anyone else has to read it, of course, but that's how it is in my head."
That remains more or less true. I feel really strongly about A/S, even now - to the point that I hardly ever read fic about them even when I find it because I'm just too bizarrely picky and there are too few people who do it right and when it's wrong (for my own arbitrary values of wrong) I find it upsetting. I'm not necessarily all that good at articulating how they are in my head either, but I feel like I came close here.
The runner-up has to be All That's Best of Dark and Bright because that's the one that still reminds me, to this day, of the ways that the Angel/Buffyverse is still the fandom of my heart. I don't have a lot to say about it these days and clearly I love other things (most notably silly boys in bands) passionately and to distraction, but BtVS was my first truly participatory fandom, and you don't forget your first love. ♥ (I've been reading the IWRY stories. Can you tell?)
Everybody did this back when it was making the rounds, right? I can never remember who's been tagged and who hasn't. I tag whoever hasn't done it yet.