Dear young and foolish me:
I put together the elliptical machine. WIN. I like it when I manage to put things together. I feel all competent and effective. Of course, I still can't get some of the bolts tight enough. I was half way through before I figured out that it came with a tool with which to tighten them and that I do not need to go buy a wrench tomorrow. Perhaps I should anyway. I do not own a wrench, and it is just that kind of lack of foresight that would get me killed during a zombie apocalypse.
***
I've been watching that meme about writing letters to your sixteen year old self go around. I like to think I don't have that many regrets, but there are a few things. Everyone has a few things. I, umm, think I'm supposed to have twelve. I don't think I have twelve - at least not twelve that are interesting.
Dear sixteen year old self:
1) The girl thing? Not a phase. Know that, but don't deal with it now. However, you might want to deal with it fairly soon after getting to college. That'll save you a couple of years of being stupid.
2) Speaking of college, double major in communications from the very beginning and stop overcompensating for your pop culture love by being a pretentious lit snob. You're a television junkie. Own it and you'll be happier.
3) I wish I could prepare you for next year. I know it's bad now, but it's going to get even worse before it gets better. Then it's going to get better - you already know who with, so stop lying to yourself and other people. You'll have a brief, shining moment of being happy with him. It's worth it. Hang onto it for as long as you can. When it ends (and it will, there's nothing you can do to stop that), remember that he's as confused and stupid as you are, and don't let it end badly. For God's sake, let it end, but don't let it end badly. That you *can* stop.
4) It's better to be on the loving end of unrequited love. It sucks hard either way, and at least that way there's less guilt - and you know what you want.
5) Knowing what you want is always going to be a problem for you.
6) Keep gas in the mustang. Trust your instinct and don't leave it in New Orleans - it will become more important than you know. Sept-Dec. 2005 are going to be the worst four months of your life to that point. DO SOMETHING during that time. Get a job, see your friends, travel, LIVE. It's going to be hard no matter what, but losing four months of your life won't help.
3 and 6 are the big ones. If I'd understood my senior year of high school what I understand now, I could have saved myself a lot of angst. And 6? I got out of the city for Katrina, but that was the last helpful thing I did for myself. I spent four months sitting on my parent's couch - and my parent's were fantastic and so supportive, but I still wish I hadn't done that. It's like missing time for me; I was depressed and nonfunctional and there were ways to counteract that, but I was kind of refusing to deal. It wasn't healthy or helpful.
Huh. Interesting stuff to think about.
***
I've been watching that meme about writing letters to your sixteen year old self go around. I like to think I don't have that many regrets, but there are a few things. Everyone has a few things. I, umm, think I'm supposed to have twelve. I don't think I have twelve - at least not twelve that are interesting.
Dear sixteen year old self:
1) The girl thing? Not a phase. Know that, but don't deal with it now. However, you might want to deal with it fairly soon after getting to college. That'll save you a couple of years of being stupid.
2) Speaking of college, double major in communications from the very beginning and stop overcompensating for your pop culture love by being a pretentious lit snob. You're a television junkie. Own it and you'll be happier.
3) I wish I could prepare you for next year. I know it's bad now, but it's going to get even worse before it gets better. Then it's going to get better - you already know who with, so stop lying to yourself and other people. You'll have a brief, shining moment of being happy with him. It's worth it. Hang onto it for as long as you can. When it ends (and it will, there's nothing you can do to stop that), remember that he's as confused and stupid as you are, and don't let it end badly. For God's sake, let it end, but don't let it end badly. That you *can* stop.
4) It's better to be on the loving end of unrequited love. It sucks hard either way, and at least that way there's less guilt - and you know what you want.
5) Knowing what you want is always going to be a problem for you.
6) Keep gas in the mustang. Trust your instinct and don't leave it in New Orleans - it will become more important than you know. Sept-Dec. 2005 are going to be the worst four months of your life to that point. DO SOMETHING during that time. Get a job, see your friends, travel, LIVE. It's going to be hard no matter what, but losing four months of your life won't help.
3 and 6 are the big ones. If I'd understood my senior year of high school what I understand now, I could have saved myself a lot of angst. And 6? I got out of the city for Katrina, but that was the last helpful thing I did for myself. I spent four months sitting on my parent's couch - and my parent's were fantastic and so supportive, but I still wish I hadn't done that. It's like missing time for me; I was depressed and nonfunctional and there were ways to counteract that, but I was kind of refusing to deal. It wasn't healthy or helpful.
Huh. Interesting stuff to think about.