the beginning of the end.
i dont know what happened. or whats going to happened.all i know is that everything was fine. and then this took a turn for the worse when a lousy decision was made in chatham and now, as of today its all over. rich says he just feels nubm. i wish i could say the same. when i got into my house i collapsed on the floor in a pile of sobs and scraems. then i called and left a messege on his answering machine. i cant even remeber whatr it sadi. i went to the doctors crying. then to the orthodontist. and then i went to bed, and have bee there since. i cry while i type this. this doesnt feel right.. i just.. i love him and htats all there is to it. i dont know what happened today but we were NOT supposed to break up. that was not the fuckin plan and i am so confused.i just want him to call me and tell me that today was a ridiculouse mistake and that everything will be okay, and then hold me close. but i have a feeling in my stomache telling me that its not going to happen. i just want today to end and him to come back i cant go on liek this. i dont care about the reserves or 4 years of university. i just want him right now. just for the moment. it would be great to just go back to the way things were and worry about reserves and trent later when we get there. i made a stupid decision today that i regretted as soon as i said it. richard if you read this i love you so much...