Prompt #246: Five Steps to a Successful Negotiation?
Lately, in the tedium that has become my job since I was promoted, I have found the way to handle any work negotiation to be as follows:
1. Remain very polite, and mostly disinterested.
2. Suggest forming a sub-committee. Nominate someone you find intolerable to head said committee.
3. Suggest weekly conference calls. Preferably when you are scheduled elsewhere. Assign someone other than yourself to monitor them and take notes.
4. Invest in a phenomenon of which I have recently learned, called the "Three Martini Lunch". (PostScript: It does take quite a bit more than three beverages of the alcoholic variety to get me pissed in any form)
5. Laugh under your breath, steeple your fingers, and make your eyes glow. This may only work if you are me.
When I was a henchman for Apocalypse, they went as follows:
1. Make no expression whatsoever that suggests you are in pain, or any that expresses dissent.
2. Suggest a team investigate/go to space/retrieve deadly artifact/enter the negative zone. Suggest the team leader be someone you actively despise.
3. Blame someone else.
4. Engage in to-the-death sparring with others to prove your worthiness.
5. Engineer the Legacy Virus.
In looking at these, I am struck by the similarities between Head of SHEILD Science Division and Henchman of Apocalypse. I should think that says something, mmm?
1. Remain very polite, and mostly disinterested.
2. Suggest forming a sub-committee. Nominate someone you find intolerable to head said committee.
3. Suggest weekly conference calls. Preferably when you are scheduled elsewhere. Assign someone other than yourself to monitor them and take notes.
4. Invest in a phenomenon of which I have recently learned, called the "Three Martini Lunch". (PostScript: It does take quite a bit more than three beverages of the alcoholic variety to get me pissed in any form)
5. Laugh under your breath, steeple your fingers, and make your eyes glow. This may only work if you are me.
When I was a henchman for Apocalypse, they went as follows:
1. Make no expression whatsoever that suggests you are in pain, or any that expresses dissent.
2. Suggest a team investigate/go to space/retrieve deadly artifact/enter the negative zone. Suggest the team leader be someone you actively despise.
3. Blame someone else.
4. Engage in to-the-death sparring with others to prove your worthiness.
5. Engineer the Legacy Virus.
In looking at these, I am struck by the similarities between Head of SHEILD Science Division and Henchman of Apocalypse. I should think that says something, mmm?