I think that it would be worth your while to do some research on open relationships. Maybe go into a really good sex store--someplace like Babeland in NYC and Seattle, Good Vibrations in San Fran, or Good For Her and Come As You Are in Toronto--and ask for book recommendations. Or, heck, if you don't have a store like that in your area, email one of the stores I mentioned. I have been to Good For Her many times, and I am confident that the staff would be understanding, and I have been told that one of them is a Christian. I know that they welcome email requests for advice, because they post advice questions and answers on their website. Their contact page is here. (Edited to add: I just realized that their book section actually has a subsection on open relationships! That part of their online store is here. They ship discreetly.)
I am still a Christian, albeit a very liberal one. I believe that the two great commandments, loving God and loving your neighbour as yourself, take precedence over the more specific laws in the Bible. I believe this approach is backed up by Jesus' approach to Old Testament law, and by Paul's approach when faced with women who had been abandoned by their husbands for becoming Christians. (Paul told them that they were not bound by those marriages, even though Jesus said that divorcing and remarrying is adultery.) I do not think that God will condemn you if your efforts to love your wife by not asking her to do things that are physically painful for her, while also loving yourself by releasing sexual frustration, result in you and your wife having an open relationship.
I am still a Christian, albeit a very liberal one. I believe that the two great commandments, loving God and loving your neighbour as yourself, take precedence over the more specific laws in the Bible. I believe this approach is backed up by Jesus' approach to Old Testament law, and by Paul's approach when faced with women who had been abandoned by their husbands for becoming Christians. (Paul told them that they were not bound by those marriages, even though Jesus said that divorcing and remarrying is adultery.) I do not think that God will condemn you if your efforts to love your wife by not asking her to do things that are physically painful for her, while also loving yourself by releasing sexual frustration, result in you and your wife having an open relationship.
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