My First Post
Hello Everyone,
I am a 43 year old guy living in Florida, who has been married almost 20 years to a woman whom I love and we have a 14 year old daughter who is very bright and the top of her class academically. I thought I would give my story and participate in this forum.
I had been a Christian from 1983 until 2005. It affected my sex life in a way that I hope most never have to deal with. My wife and I got married and did what most young married couples do, we had lots of sex, we bought a home, and cars, etc. After 4 happy and normal years of marrige our daughter came along. About 6 months after our daughter came along, my wife came down with an extremely severe case of Fibromyalgia. The pain was so intense that she had considered suicide. She tried drugs and therapies which didn't work. The ONLY thing we found that is living in a very warm and humid climate. With discovery, we uprooted our lives and moved to Florida. It has helped but it is still a long ways from normal. My wife and I have been unable to have sex but very rarely, sometimes going several months without. After 10 years of being a good little Christian boy, I emotionally cracked. We were of a Southern/Independent Fundamental Baptist background. In other words, YOU STAY FAITHFUL TO YOUR SPOUSE NO MATTER WHAT UNTIL DEATH DO YOU PART! I sought out counseling, first from clergy, which I only got a deer caught in the headlights look, next by a professional therapist who was secular. The Secular therapist was at least nonjudgemental but really not much help. After dealing with this for awhile, my wife, much to my suprise, told me that if it ever gets to bad for me as a man, and I did deal with the issue outside the marriage, she would not hold it against me but I was to NEVER tell her...she even told me to lie to her.
That little event set me into a feeling of something I had never dealt with. I tried to study about such situations in everything from the Bible and Christian literature to secular books and information. There was not much other than the statistics that marriages where there is a long term chronic illness or disability will fail at an 85% rate. After 4 years of this situation, I have become more comfortable with the idea she proposed but I still fight with the embedded feelings that Christianity pounds into you. Anyway, other than the sex issue, we are very happy and enjoying life. I think if I met someone who I felt comfortable with and they with me, I might have a friend outside the marriage. I know this sounds terrible to some but I only ask you not to judge me until you have tried going multiple years with virtually no sex. I mean, you don't get married to be celebate. Anyway that is my little story.
I am a 43 year old guy living in Florida, who has been married almost 20 years to a woman whom I love and we have a 14 year old daughter who is very bright and the top of her class academically. I thought I would give my story and participate in this forum.
I had been a Christian from 1983 until 2005. It affected my sex life in a way that I hope most never have to deal with. My wife and I got married and did what most young married couples do, we had lots of sex, we bought a home, and cars, etc. After 4 happy and normal years of marrige our daughter came along. About 6 months after our daughter came along, my wife came down with an extremely severe case of Fibromyalgia. The pain was so intense that she had considered suicide. She tried drugs and therapies which didn't work. The ONLY thing we found that is living in a very warm and humid climate. With discovery, we uprooted our lives and moved to Florida. It has helped but it is still a long ways from normal. My wife and I have been unable to have sex but very rarely, sometimes going several months without. After 10 years of being a good little Christian boy, I emotionally cracked. We were of a Southern/Independent Fundamental Baptist background. In other words, YOU STAY FAITHFUL TO YOUR SPOUSE NO MATTER WHAT UNTIL DEATH DO YOU PART! I sought out counseling, first from clergy, which I only got a deer caught in the headlights look, next by a professional therapist who was secular. The Secular therapist was at least nonjudgemental but really not much help. After dealing with this for awhile, my wife, much to my suprise, told me that if it ever gets to bad for me as a man, and I did deal with the issue outside the marriage, she would not hold it against me but I was to NEVER tell her...she even told me to lie to her.
That little event set me into a feeling of something I had never dealt with. I tried to study about such situations in everything from the Bible and Christian literature to secular books and information. There was not much other than the statistics that marriages where there is a long term chronic illness or disability will fail at an 85% rate. After 4 years of this situation, I have become more comfortable with the idea she proposed but I still fight with the embedded feelings that Christianity pounds into you. Anyway, other than the sex issue, we are very happy and enjoying life. I think if I met someone who I felt comfortable with and they with me, I might have a friend outside the marriage. I know this sounds terrible to some but I only ask you not to judge me until you have tried going multiple years with virtually no sex. I mean, you don't get married to be celebate. Anyway that is my little story.