Bless you for wrestling so hard with this. I don't blame you at all for having the troubles that you are having. Many psychologists deem sex as one of the fundamental necessities of life, and I respect your struggle because of that. Not a single person can judge you until they have been in your shoes.
I'd like to ask, and I hope you don't mind, when you say "unable to have sex," do you mean any sort of sexual act? Do you only mean penetration and the physical exertion that goes along with it, or is any sort of sexual act or pleasure painful for her? It has been so long, I'm sure you two have tried many methods to fill the gap by now, so forgive me for being presumptuous by asking. But are all forms of sex (oral, manual, dual masturbation like another poster recommended, or with the use of marital aids perhaps) out of the question? I also ask this because I know that some people of faith do not believe in some forms of sex, even within marriage. At what point along the path of physical affection does it become too uncomfortable for her to continue? I'm also curious about how your wife had dealt with the lack of sex herself. Such a sad story, because it sounds like you really love each other.
I'm someone who is of the opinion that truth and morality are relative. You sound like someone who really and truly believes in the virtues of monogamy. I hope that if you ever did decide to seek pleasure outside of your marriage that you did it at a time when you have fully come to terms with the idea and were able to enjoy it. I don't envy your position but I respect you deeply for trying your darndest to find the best way through it all and I wish you the best. Hopefully this can be a good place for you to vent and find understanding, supportive people.
Oh, and I have to ask this just because I am just finishing school to be a massage therapist, but has your wife ever sought massage as a complementary therapy? When we studied fibromyalgia we learned that many (not all of course) sufferers find tremendous relief from massage. Some people say it's the only thing that has helped them. You say that she's tried many therapies though so I'd guess you've already been down this road.
Oh, and also -- I notice that you created your journal very recently. I don't know if this is a new journal that you created in order to express your feelings on this subject and reach out to people, or if you are new to LJ. In case it is the latter, I wanted to let you know in case you were unaware that you can friends-lock this entry and any entries in your personal journal that you would wish to secure from the general public (if you were concerned about real-life friends or family stumbling upon your more private entries like this one, for instance). If this is a concern for you, you might also want to remove certain details from your "bio" section of your info page. If you aren't telling people around you that you have a livejournal, it probably isn't a concern but better safe than sorry.
Please dismiss this if you know already, I just wanted to point it out in case you're a first time user. Just watching your back, bro. :)
The other option that occurred to me, treatment-wise, is medical marijuana, which I understand can be used to treat fibromyalgia pain. Places where medical marijuana is legal (I don't know if the OP's state is one of them) have compassion clubs, which are groups that provide safe and reliable marijuana access for medical users. It is possible to buy something called a vaporizer, which vaporizes the active ingredients of marijuana at a controlled temperature, avoiding the usual odor and keeping the user from inhaling toxic plant matter. If this is an option for the OP's wife, it's worth a shot.
I'd like to ask, and I hope you don't mind, when you say "unable to have sex," do you mean any sort of sexual act? Do you only mean penetration and the physical exertion that goes along with it, or is any sort of sexual act or pleasure painful for her? It has been so long, I'm sure you two have tried many methods to fill the gap by now, so forgive me for being presumptuous by asking. But are all forms of sex (oral, manual, dual masturbation like another poster recommended, or with the use of marital aids perhaps) out of the question? I also ask this because I know that some people of faith do not believe in some forms of sex, even within marriage. At what point along the path of physical affection does it become too uncomfortable for her to continue? I'm also curious about how your wife had dealt with the lack of sex herself. Such a sad story, because it sounds like you really love each other.
I'm someone who is of the opinion that truth and morality are relative. You sound like someone who really and truly believes in the virtues of monogamy. I hope that if you ever did decide to seek pleasure outside of your marriage that you did it at a time when you have fully come to terms with the idea and were able to enjoy it. I don't envy your position but I respect you deeply for trying your darndest to find the best way through it all and I wish you the best. Hopefully this can be a good place for you to vent and find understanding, supportive people.
Oh, and I have to ask this just because I am just finishing school to be a massage therapist, but has your wife ever sought massage as a complementary therapy? When we studied fibromyalgia we learned that many (not all of course) sufferers find tremendous relief from massage. Some people say it's the only thing that has helped them. You say that she's tried many therapies though so I'd guess you've already been down this road.
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Please dismiss this if you know already, I just wanted to point it out in case you're a first time user. Just watching your back, bro. :)
And I'm curious -- how did you find us?
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