(no subject)
Like a jug of milk it appears as if the expiration date on this relationship has been set and we're getting closer and closer to coming to the point to part ways. This is terrible, it's not what I want but she just can't seem to let go of the past and believe me that I'm fully committed to a bright and wonderful future together. When I asked her what she feels is holding her back, without hesitation she immediately said "you". Like a butter knife through the heart, but I don't believe that I am holding her back. She has these dreams, ambitions, plans, wishes and desires with her life and I'm in full support but she is not taking the initiative to do any of those things.
The problem is that we are in this (my) house because she didn't know if or where she wanted to live, I threw it out on the table, "If you don't want to live in this house, lets come up with a plan but I need your input and we will do it. This of course seemed to be received well by her yet no action on her part was taken. This is typical with her, it's very difficult to try and make someone happy who doesn't seem to want to help themselves be happy. You can't push a chain.
We went to the Mariners game on the 4th, it was a good time but a little chilly. After the game we walked to Pike Place Market, we held hands but the conversation was dull and practically nonexistent. Once we turned around I had a sense that the countdown to our imminent demise had started. "Operation Breakup Initiated". It's like we were enjoying the silence of the walk more than each other, and it had been a relatively good day.
She seems to change gears a lot when it comes to finding things wrong with the relationship, if it's not one thing it's the next.
She says I'm holding her back, I explain to her that's not true and she says that she doesn't believe me.
She thinks I don't find her attractive, I tell her she's crazy because I think she's beautiful and that she has problems with believing me, she agrees to work on it.
She says she is bored because we don't go out and do things like we used to, I tell her that I try to come up with ideas but she is never excited about any of them and that when I ask her for input, she simply gives me an "I don't know".
I mean the list goes on.
Even with every shitty thing that we've been through, I'm still madly in love with her and I truly want to spend the rest of my life with her. Can we work things out? Not by ourselves, we've agreed to see a counselor. This tells me that there is still a sliver of hope that I can use to hang on to. She had told me that she has kind of given up and if counseling doesn't work that we should break up, that hurt me, I've never given up on us and I feel that if counseling doesn't work we need a break before making the decision to end the relationship. Maybe we need time apart to wind down and think things through rationally. Maybe we've been so surrounded by out issues that we just need a release.
We'll see what happens.
The problem is that we are in this (my) house because she didn't know if or where she wanted to live, I threw it out on the table, "If you don't want to live in this house, lets come up with a plan but I need your input and we will do it. This of course seemed to be received well by her yet no action on her part was taken. This is typical with her, it's very difficult to try and make someone happy who doesn't seem to want to help themselves be happy. You can't push a chain.
We went to the Mariners game on the 4th, it was a good time but a little chilly. After the game we walked to Pike Place Market, we held hands but the conversation was dull and practically nonexistent. Once we turned around I had a sense that the countdown to our imminent demise had started. "Operation Breakup Initiated". It's like we were enjoying the silence of the walk more than each other, and it had been a relatively good day.
She seems to change gears a lot when it comes to finding things wrong with the relationship, if it's not one thing it's the next.
She says I'm holding her back, I explain to her that's not true and she says that she doesn't believe me.
She thinks I don't find her attractive, I tell her she's crazy because I think she's beautiful and that she has problems with believing me, she agrees to work on it.
She says she is bored because we don't go out and do things like we used to, I tell her that I try to come up with ideas but she is never excited about any of them and that when I ask her for input, she simply gives me an "I don't know".
I mean the list goes on.
Even with every shitty thing that we've been through, I'm still madly in love with her and I truly want to spend the rest of my life with her. Can we work things out? Not by ourselves, we've agreed to see a counselor. This tells me that there is still a sliver of hope that I can use to hang on to. She had told me that she has kind of given up and if counseling doesn't work that we should break up, that hurt me, I've never given up on us and I feel that if counseling doesn't work we need a break before making the decision to end the relationship. Maybe we need time apart to wind down and think things through rationally. Maybe we've been so surrounded by out issues that we just need a release.
We'll see what happens.