Repost: What do I think of me?
"Why do I care so much of what others think of me? What I think of me is what should count, right? Right, of course, now what do I think of myself?"
This line is me to a tee. . . What do I think of myself?
I am a better singer than anyone on "American Idol". . . okay, maybe I am getting to cocky. After all my jaw has been sore off and on for that last several months and I do have to get some oral surgery. I also haven't professionally performed since my second year of college. I know I am musically talented.
I know I will have the next best (book) seller (and I don't mean book store). Okay, I know I will have huge interested fan based with the book series I am currently writing. I am a good story teller I am very animated, and dynamic. I get the audience into the story I am telling. . . I know my little brothers always enjoyed my stories.
I think I could care to lose some weight. A few pound less would do my health good, but I have to lose it for me, not because Hollywood likes a thin society.
I have a very weak-will, and I need to strength who I am because I play the dating field, because I am sick of being who I think the guy wants to me to be. In fact I am sick of being everyone's everything, because I think is what I can do to make them happy while I am miserable.
I think Hanson is cool, and I've loved their music since "Mmmbop." I have been a hardcore fan of them since May of 1997. They write their own music, sing and play their own instruments. They are cool and have kept their head straight among the spotlight, riches, and fame. I don't care what others think. . . I like Hanson!
I am smart, bright and diverse as I enjoy both the light and dark, and I believe in many different things.
I've been raised Catholic and born again Christian; however, with several college classes and some other life-experiences I have learned that I have many different beliefs from many different cultures.
I do believe in God and Jesus Christ as I have Jesus in many dreams and visions.
Jesus did die a very horrifying death just to come back to life again for us to do good too.
There was much blood and the site was horrible.
I believe God gave us the Holy Spirit for us to better understand things.
The Holy Spirit is a unique interpreter for us to understand what we feel is the truth.
The Holy Spirit is different to everyone as we all understand differently.
My idea of Heaven and Hell are both very different from the standard: cloud of angels and fire pit of dangerous souls.
I believe we all as human are trying to seek the ultimate happiness and we may have to relive several lives to get to that happiness. . .
Happiness and love are goals over a long journey.
Some of us call this Heaven, some call it Nirvana.
I think either way it is the same goal we are all going towards. . . Peace!
However there are many holes, bumps and obstacles that will steal us away from our goal and lead us backwards into our own pity, hate and despair which are called our hell, or Hades etc.
These snares in our lives keep us from going to the ultimate happiness.
It's like repeating levels, because we couldn't defeat the final boss, so we have do it over or relive life, but the next life it may be easier or harder. . . it just depended on how we treated others in our previous life.
I also believe God is divided into two different parts: I call them god and goddess, and I know God had a feminine, nurturing, creative part: goddess and a masculine, controlling, logical part: god. I know this sounds so stereotypical, and for all these feminists out there: it was how I was raised. I do believe both of these parts work together to make god as we all can be nurturers and logical if we really think about it.
I have seen the eyes of God and they are a fire blue like the blue on the flame of a gas stove. However if God is mad, his eyes will be flaming red.
I've seen the goddess and she has red hair and her dress indicates her many moods.
On a normal day, she will where a bright green dress to bring out her earthly green eyes. She is collected and teaches and guides me in my visions, dreams and mediations.
I also believe the power in the messages of dreams, mediations, and visions. I believe that there is more that just your unconscious telling you what you miss in every day life, but there are spiritual messages in the silver lining. I do believe some mediations, dream and visions can tell the past, present and future. They can warn you of danger. They call tell what direction you need to take. They can insight you of what you can do to correct your mistakes.
I also believe in the power of Tarot and Palm readings as they do have spiritual insight. They have connection of different realms and can tell you of things in front of you that you can't quite see, because you are too close. (Why shouldn't we believe in the lines on our palms if they weren't there for us to see?)
I also believe in the power of a candle . . . There is so much power in a flame when it dances as you whisper, sing, shout or speak words.
It had all elements and it is something for me physically to see when I read chants, spell or prayers whatever you want to call them. (I have called them prayers for several years of my life to appease my family.)
Now as I look back spiritually, I don't feel I am a hypocrite to any religion, but that I am diverse in many beliefs to me as I feel I have a special touch of every one of them.
I've seen the god and he is muscular and he is confident is his pose as he is physical and mental strong.
He also keeps his cool.
He is one of the voices of reason in my head, my moral.
He is the one who guides me through emergency situation without letting me lose my head.