So far away, doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?
Today, in another state far away, my nephew is celebrating his birthday. He was born on this day eight years ago, in another state far away in the opposite direction. It's a little hard for this old aunt to believe. My cousin was able to visit here briefly before we went on vacation, and from what she said, she'll likely be settling in that far-away state for good. I'd kinda been expecting that, but it was still hard news to get. They're living in a small town with no airport that's very hard to get to from here (either a 10-11 hour car ride, or a 2-hour plane ride and at least 2-3 hour car ride). I went there for Thanksgiving last year, and the trip was so awful that I think I'm still traumatized from it.
Since my sister and I are the only ones living in this state, the moving away felt kinda personal and sent me into something of a tailspin of depression. She and my little nephew and niece lived in this state for a few years, and my sister and I tried really hard while they were here to be fun, involved aunts. We went to the park and the library and swimming and played games and decorated the Xmas tree and hunted for Easter eggs and had a little at-home birthday party and more. I tried really hard to be hospitable whenever they came over, but I don't think I actually pulled it off that well. I know at least a few comments were made along the lines of, "Rebecca hates it whenever we come over, Rebecca's always so happy when we leave," etc. And yes, the kids' noise level could get tiring after a while, but I was still always happy to see them. For a while when my niece was a baby, we spent a lot of time with them every single weekend. I wish I'd done things differently now -- acted nicer, or stayed longer, or savored it more, or something. I can't help thinking that it might've changed this outcome of events, even though I know it probably wouldn't have. (I blame my aunt and uncle entirely, but I shouldn't go into that.)
Just last week would've been my Grandma's 95th birthday. I still miss her so much. I have a lot of dreams about her/her old house. In one, I'm walking the old route to her house, usually in the middle of the night, and I reach the spot where I can see her house and the porch light is on, but I can't actually get there. Those always leave me unsettled.
This post has been very melancholy, but that's matched my mood lately. Those kids enriched my life so much, and now I'll probably just be cards/letters in the mail to them. And they're growing up so fast that they could be teenagers before I see them again! I look at coworkers and other people with lots of family members living nearby, and I can't even imagine it.
Since my sister and I are the only ones living in this state, the moving away felt kinda personal and sent me into something of a tailspin of depression. She and my little nephew and niece lived in this state for a few years, and my sister and I tried really hard while they were here to be fun, involved aunts. We went to the park and the library and swimming and played games and decorated the Xmas tree and hunted for Easter eggs and had a little at-home birthday party and more. I tried really hard to be hospitable whenever they came over, but I don't think I actually pulled it off that well. I know at least a few comments were made along the lines of, "Rebecca hates it whenever we come over, Rebecca's always so happy when we leave," etc. And yes, the kids' noise level could get tiring after a while, but I was still always happy to see them. For a while when my niece was a baby, we spent a lot of time with them every single weekend. I wish I'd done things differently now -- acted nicer, or stayed longer, or savored it more, or something. I can't help thinking that it might've changed this outcome of events, even though I know it probably wouldn't have. (I blame my aunt and uncle entirely, but I shouldn't go into that.)
Just last week would've been my Grandma's 95th birthday. I still miss her so much. I have a lot of dreams about her/her old house. In one, I'm walking the old route to her house, usually in the middle of the night, and I reach the spot where I can see her house and the porch light is on, but I can't actually get there. Those always leave me unsettled.
This post has been very melancholy, but that's matched my mood lately. Those kids enriched my life so much, and now I'll probably just be cards/letters in the mail to them. And they're growing up so fast that they could be teenagers before I see them again! I look at coworkers and other people with lots of family members living nearby, and I can't even imagine it.