Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?

[rebecca_in_blue]

Athena and Abram are in our hometown, on a trip down from Colorado. It's almost been enough to make me regret moving away from that place. Athena said that she might try to fly back out of L-city so she could see us, but it likely won't happen. It's depressing to think that everbody in L-town, probably including my useless brothers, is getting to see them, but we aren't. But then I wonder why Athena would want to see us; Abram is eighteen months old now and takes up more space, and I know our crappy little townhouse would be cramped if they'd stayed here with us. She's probably more comfortable hanging out with her friends who have kids, and unlike me, Athena has never been short on friends. She and my mom went out to lunch together at one point during her visit; she says that she gets along better with Mom because the two of them don't have any "baggage," which is probably true. It's always felt really obvious to my sister and me that Mom would've rather had Athena for a daughter than either of us. I hope it feels just as obvious to Mom that I liked spending time with Grandma better than her. This is another one of those times when I wish I didn't know how much my mom never wanted a third child. (Courtesy of Aunt Carolyn and her big mouth. Although even if she hadn't told me the story, I think Mom's resentment would've been obvious. When I was a kid, all I had to do was walk into a room for her to start screaming.)

Much against my better judgement, I mailed my mom a note telling her how much it hurt my feelings when she crumpled up the dried flower that I got at Grandma's funeral. I fully expected her to respond with guilt money, because paying off her guilt has always been her thing, but to my complete astonishment, she responded with an "I'm sorry" card with no money in it. I was so surprised that I actually held it out and shook it, to make sure I hadn't missed the money. Maybe she is starting to get a clue, but I don't think Mom and I are coming back from this one, and I think I inherited enough of her bitchiness to give her the same thing she gave my Grandma.