Rebecca hears the drums echoing tonight.
I tossed and turned all night last night. I very occasionally have nights when I lie awake for hours worrying for over the most ridiculous, pointless things (things I have no power to change, things that are a long way in the future) and as much as I try, I can't make myself stop worrying or go back to bed. Yes, things are better in the morning, and all my worries seem stupid by the light of day, but still, it really bothers me when I have nights like that. I'm not the only one who does this sometimes, right? I think we all have fears that seem scarier at night.
It didn't help that immediately before going to bed, I checked my work schedule and realized that I actually had to work today, when I thought I was off. (I got Thursday and Friday confused; my day off is tomorrow.) How much does it suck to discover you have to get up early and go to work when you had planned on sleeping in? Ugh. I guess it's a good thing I checked the schedule.
On top of that, immediately before going to bed, I read the first eleven chapters of I'd Know You Anywhere, a book I found so disturbing that it made my stomach clench, but it was so well-written that I literally couldn't put it down.
Finally, sometime in a.m., I had to turn on my lamp and read the most boring Torah passages I could find until I felt tired again. Sable actually got out of his bed and came to sleep on the floor next to my bed.
I'm not sure what to make of it. Changes might be on the horizon, and I'm not sure what to make of those, either. Strangely enough, there are some situations where knowledge of child actresses is absolutely no help. Maybe I should go back to St. John's Wort.