my thoughts during english....

Sep 28, 2006 16:57

In the past few weeks, I have been happy. I haven't been frustrated or angry r sad. My heart has been hurting, but only because of myself...That is my own fault. But I think I might be fixing that, changing the way I think about the things and people around me...

I can smile and actually mean it. Laugh and know that I WANT to be laughing. I can talk to my closest friends in the entire world and know that everything is going to be okay.

I've been thinking about my friendship with John a lot lately. The fact that I can say I had a shitty day and he immediately wants to hear about it. I enjoy having a friend that I can trust and know he won't share anything he isn't supposed to. It's almost like I found another Brandon. But instead of things being weird or becoming a friendship of the past; we share all of our thoughts and feelings with each other.

Wow, I found a replacement for Brandon...So now I don't have to feel like shit when I think about it. Knowing that a friend like that doesn't come around very often...but I managed to find two. That makes things a lot easier to deal with. I don't need that friendship to make me happy, because that piece of shit really doesn't matter. I can be happy on my own, but knowing that I have boys who will be my friend, no matter the circumstances is absolutely amazing. I love my friends and the people around me make me smile.

I haven't smiled like this in a long time...
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