(no subject)
I was idly browsing the internet last night and happened to come upon something weird. (I know, shocking, huh?)
I haven't been following this whole Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes/scientology thing very closely, but I have caught glimpses here and there of the whole strangeness of that trio. Very odd, if you ask me-- but then, who am I to judge?
Still.
I stumbled onto a link that gave a short summary of the beliefs of scientologists-- and as many of you know, it was just... weird. But then someone else linked to a list of questions that scientologists are apparently asked when they are (if I understand correctly) trying to become true scientologists. And that was just bizarre. So here are some of those questions (and my answers, because I couldn't resist) to entertain you on this Wednesday morning. It's an extremely long list-- so I will not post them all. Maybe more will follow later.
Have you ever enslaved a population? My barbies were fully under my control for a period of about ten years.
Have you ever implanted anyone? ...
Have you ever sacked a city? Dublin was never the same once I left. ::evil laughter::
Have you ever sunk, or otherwise destroyed, a non-combatant vessel? Die bath toys, die.
Have you ever abused hostages, or prisoners? Oh yes. My brother is scarred for life.
Have you ever ordered, or yourself committed, genocide? Not lately, no.
Have you ever annihilated a population? No, I was content with just enslaving them.
Have you ever poisoned food or drinking supplies? No, but I've cooked it before... Same thing, really.
Have you ever strangled anyone? I plead the fifth.
Have you ever deliberately spread disease? Yes. I've cultivated my own strain of althlete's foot in test tubes in my room and secretly given it to stupid customers at work.
Have you ever degraded a religion? Who, me? ::pets scientologists::
Have you ever raped a child of either sex? Okay, I can't even be funny about this. The fact that this question gets asked is very disturbing.
Have you ever warped an educational system? I have singlehandedly revolutionized the educational system by being the best procrastinator I can be.
Have you ever deprived people of hope? I feed on it like a vampire.
Have you ever committed murder? I have killed approximately 247,311 insects and plan to add more to my resume in the coming years.
Have you ever destroyed a culture? No, but it sounds like the sort of thing one could do on a rainy day.
Have you ever forced anyone into an undesired beingness? I think I do that to my cats all the time. And myself, come to think of it.
Have you ever stolen a body from another being? Yes, but I always give them back.
Have you ever destroyed an economy? No, we have people who do that for us.
Is anybody seeking to discover your whereabouts? I'm almost 21 and my mom still always wants to know where I am.
Have you ever violated a nation's neutrality? Like I said, Ireland wasn't the same once I got done with it.
Have you ever broken a treaty? I have probably broken all thirteen thousand Treaties of Secret's Family. (But, c'mon, the one where we children said that we'd actually do chores around the house was totally unfair.)
Have you ever blanketed bodies for the sensation trick? Huh? No, but it sounds like fun...
Have you ever upset an ecology? I've driven my car, haven't I?
Have you persecuted others for their religious or political beliefs? Persecuted, no.
Have you ever interfered with the free flow of trade? "I'm sorry, sir, but there is a limit of two on this sale item."
Have you ever been a crook? Absolutely not. Thief? Yes. Crook? No.
Have you ever obliterated a language? I tried to learn French once. I think I pretty much obliterated it by my attempt.
Have you ever stamped out a religion? Not lately.
Have you ever deliberately trained people in untruths for power, or profit? "You're a really good fanfiction writer. No, really. Now give me all your money."
Have you ever defiled religious places, persons, or objects? Why do I feel like there should be a joke about a "religious person" inserted here?
Have you ever practiced terrorism? No.
Have you ever done anything you would not like to think of yourself as having done? Bloody hell, where should I start? Have you got all day?
Have you ever been a coward? Yep, and I will continue to be so.
Have you ever trapped a thetan? I don't think I would know one if I saw one. But I'll keep a lookout.
Have you ever prided yourself on your wickedness? Mwahahahahahahaha.
Have you ever destroyed artistic productions, or creations? I'm sorry, but Mr. Stick Figure and his family just had to die.
Have you burned literature? Not yet, but I have been sorely tempted. Never seem to have a match at the right time, though.
Have you ever forbidden people to practice their own customs? No, but I've wanted to...
Have you ever perverted a people's customs? Again, not lately.
Have you ever done anything which you hoped would be wiped out by the passage of time? Good grief, yes. Is this a bad thing?
Do you deserve to be punished into eternity for something you've done? If so, what is it? I deserve to be punished into eternity because I like Harry Potter. I am a filthy heathen. (Ahh, it felt good to get that off my chest.)
Have you ever exposed infants? Meh?
Have you ever bred bodies for degrading purposes? Wow. My barbies never achieved that one.
Is there anything you would have done differently if you had had more data? A few dozen last-minute essays and papers come to mind...
Have you ever forced beings into unwanted bodies? What do you think I do on my days off, sit around and relax?
Have you deliberately prevented beings from exteriorizing? My cats are not allowed to go outside.
Have you done anything to a person, group, or thing that wasn't deserved? Yes, but I don't think I enjoyed it. Do I get bonus points for that?
Have you ever deserted a just cause? I'm afraid there are too many just causes in this world. I had to desert some of them.
Have you ever debased a nation's currency? Remember the Euro? Yeah, I killed it.
Have you ever deliberately tortured someone? What else are siblings for?
Have you ever enslaved another being? When the climate is just right, my brother makes an excellent slave. ("Fetch me my slippers, human.")
Have you ever gained, or maintained, a position by portraying yourself as victimized? Woe is me.
Have you ever undermined a people's trust? I occasionally set fire to customers' coupons and then tell them that they never gave them to me.
Have you driven anyone insane? My mother, perhaps.
Have you ever been a professional prostitute? That is not on my resume at the current time.
Have you ever trained people for criminal purposes? I have been the ring leader of many a criminal plot in my youth. ("Okay, you sneak out to the kitchen and bring back some cake. I'll stay here and make sure no one steals your pillow while you're gone.")
Have you ever been a pervert? That is also not on my resume.
Have you ever recruited anyone for an unworthy purpose? Depends on your definition of "worthy".
Have you ever traded in others' bodies for profit or power? You can get almost $5 for them on the black market.
Have you ever stolen a mock-up or facsimile? Yes, I just can't help myself. It's an illness.
Have you ever usurped a location? I am a strict Non-Usurping person.
Have you ever made things scarce so that you might profit unfairly? "I'm sorry, ma'am, but we're all out of 25%-off store coupons."
Have you ever made a practice of creating emergencies? Yes, but you'd forgive me if you could see my emergencies. They're like fully functional works of art.
Have you ever practiced human sacrifice? Wanted to, sometimes.
Have you ever assumed a beingness which was not rightfully yours? Yes, and I am not giving it back. Vive la resistance!
Have you ever killed the wrong person? That's why they won't let me do human sacrifice anymore.
Have you ever punished an innocent person? No one is innocent... ::shifty eyes::
Is anybody looking for you? I won't know until they've found me.
Have you ever systematically degraded an individual, or population, or mock-up? Whatever this "mock-up" is, it sounds way too pretentious. I think it could stand a little degrading.
Have you ever unlawfully, or unethically, deserted a post? I desert my post all the time. It's all junk mail anyway.
Have you betrayed someone, or something, which deserved your help? Somehow I just can't make myself pick up hitchhikers. I guess I'm going to Hell now.
Have you ever set a poor example? No, but I've set an extremely poor example.
Have you ever perverted the institutions of a culture for your own personal power or profit? I have the big M wrapped around my finger.
Have you ever denied yourself? No, I give in to my every whim. Just call me Id.
Have you ever betrayed yourself? Occasionally.
Did you come to Earth for evil purposes? All will be revealed... Mwahahaha...
I haven't been following this whole Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes/scientology thing very closely, but I have caught glimpses here and there of the whole strangeness of that trio. Very odd, if you ask me-- but then, who am I to judge?
Still.
I stumbled onto a link that gave a short summary of the beliefs of scientologists-- and as many of you know, it was just... weird. But then someone else linked to a list of questions that scientologists are apparently asked when they are (if I understand correctly) trying to become true scientologists. And that was just bizarre. So here are some of those questions (and my answers, because I couldn't resist) to entertain you on this Wednesday morning. It's an extremely long list-- so I will not post them all. Maybe more will follow later.
Have you ever enslaved a population? My barbies were fully under my control for a period of about ten years.
Have you ever implanted anyone? ...
Have you ever sacked a city? Dublin was never the same once I left. ::evil laughter::
Have you ever sunk, or otherwise destroyed, a non-combatant vessel? Die bath toys, die.
Have you ever abused hostages, or prisoners? Oh yes. My brother is scarred for life.
Have you ever ordered, or yourself committed, genocide? Not lately, no.
Have you ever annihilated a population? No, I was content with just enslaving them.
Have you ever poisoned food or drinking supplies? No, but I've cooked it before... Same thing, really.
Have you ever strangled anyone? I plead the fifth.
Have you ever deliberately spread disease? Yes. I've cultivated my own strain of althlete's foot in test tubes in my room and secretly given it to stupid customers at work.
Have you ever degraded a religion? Who, me? ::pets scientologists::
Have you ever raped a child of either sex? Okay, I can't even be funny about this. The fact that this question gets asked is very disturbing.
Have you ever warped an educational system? I have singlehandedly revolutionized the educational system by being the best procrastinator I can be.
Have you ever deprived people of hope? I feed on it like a vampire.
Have you ever committed murder? I have killed approximately 247,311 insects and plan to add more to my resume in the coming years.
Have you ever destroyed a culture? No, but it sounds like the sort of thing one could do on a rainy day.
Have you ever forced anyone into an undesired beingness? I think I do that to my cats all the time. And myself, come to think of it.
Have you ever stolen a body from another being? Yes, but I always give them back.
Have you ever destroyed an economy? No, we have people who do that for us.
Is anybody seeking to discover your whereabouts? I'm almost 21 and my mom still always wants to know where I am.
Have you ever violated a nation's neutrality? Like I said, Ireland wasn't the same once I got done with it.
Have you ever broken a treaty? I have probably broken all thirteen thousand Treaties of Secret's Family. (But, c'mon, the one where we children said that we'd actually do chores around the house was totally unfair.)
Have you ever blanketed bodies for the sensation trick? Huh? No, but it sounds like fun...
Have you ever upset an ecology? I've driven my car, haven't I?
Have you persecuted others for their religious or political beliefs? Persecuted, no.
Have you ever interfered with the free flow of trade? "I'm sorry, sir, but there is a limit of two on this sale item."
Have you ever been a crook? Absolutely not. Thief? Yes. Crook? No.
Have you ever obliterated a language? I tried to learn French once. I think I pretty much obliterated it by my attempt.
Have you ever stamped out a religion? Not lately.
Have you ever deliberately trained people in untruths for power, or profit? "You're a really good fanfiction writer. No, really. Now give me all your money."
Have you ever defiled religious places, persons, or objects? Why do I feel like there should be a joke about a "religious person" inserted here?
Have you ever practiced terrorism? No.
Have you ever done anything you would not like to think of yourself as having done? Bloody hell, where should I start? Have you got all day?
Have you ever been a coward? Yep, and I will continue to be so.
Have you ever trapped a thetan? I don't think I would know one if I saw one. But I'll keep a lookout.
Have you ever prided yourself on your wickedness? Mwahahahahahahaha.
Have you ever destroyed artistic productions, or creations? I'm sorry, but Mr. Stick Figure and his family just had to die.
Have you burned literature? Not yet, but I have been sorely tempted. Never seem to have a match at the right time, though.
Have you ever forbidden people to practice their own customs? No, but I've wanted to...
Have you ever perverted a people's customs? Again, not lately.
Have you ever done anything which you hoped would be wiped out by the passage of time? Good grief, yes. Is this a bad thing?
Do you deserve to be punished into eternity for something you've done? If so, what is it? I deserve to be punished into eternity because I like Harry Potter. I am a filthy heathen. (Ahh, it felt good to get that off my chest.)
Have you ever exposed infants? Meh?
Have you ever bred bodies for degrading purposes? Wow. My barbies never achieved that one.
Is there anything you would have done differently if you had had more data? A few dozen last-minute essays and papers come to mind...
Have you ever forced beings into unwanted bodies? What do you think I do on my days off, sit around and relax?
Have you deliberately prevented beings from exteriorizing? My cats are not allowed to go outside.
Have you done anything to a person, group, or thing that wasn't deserved? Yes, but I don't think I enjoyed it. Do I get bonus points for that?
Have you ever deserted a just cause? I'm afraid there are too many just causes in this world. I had to desert some of them.
Have you ever debased a nation's currency? Remember the Euro? Yeah, I killed it.
Have you ever deliberately tortured someone? What else are siblings for?
Have you ever enslaved another being? When the climate is just right, my brother makes an excellent slave. ("Fetch me my slippers, human.")
Have you ever gained, or maintained, a position by portraying yourself as victimized? Woe is me.
Have you ever undermined a people's trust? I occasionally set fire to customers' coupons and then tell them that they never gave them to me.
Have you driven anyone insane? My mother, perhaps.
Have you ever been a professional prostitute? That is not on my resume at the current time.
Have you ever trained people for criminal purposes? I have been the ring leader of many a criminal plot in my youth. ("Okay, you sneak out to the kitchen and bring back some cake. I'll stay here and make sure no one steals your pillow while you're gone.")
Have you ever been a pervert? That is also not on my resume.
Have you ever recruited anyone for an unworthy purpose? Depends on your definition of "worthy".
Have you ever traded in others' bodies for profit or power? You can get almost $5 for them on the black market.
Have you ever stolen a mock-up or facsimile? Yes, I just can't help myself. It's an illness.
Have you ever usurped a location? I am a strict Non-Usurping person.
Have you ever made things scarce so that you might profit unfairly? "I'm sorry, ma'am, but we're all out of 25%-off store coupons."
Have you ever made a practice of creating emergencies? Yes, but you'd forgive me if you could see my emergencies. They're like fully functional works of art.
Have you ever practiced human sacrifice? Wanted to, sometimes.
Have you ever assumed a beingness which was not rightfully yours? Yes, and I am not giving it back. Vive la resistance!
Have you ever killed the wrong person? That's why they won't let me do human sacrifice anymore.
Have you ever punished an innocent person? No one is innocent... ::shifty eyes::
Is anybody looking for you? I won't know until they've found me.
Have you ever systematically degraded an individual, or population, or mock-up? Whatever this "mock-up" is, it sounds way too pretentious. I think it could stand a little degrading.
Have you ever unlawfully, or unethically, deserted a post? I desert my post all the time. It's all junk mail anyway.
Have you betrayed someone, or something, which deserved your help? Somehow I just can't make myself pick up hitchhikers. I guess I'm going to Hell now.
Have you ever set a poor example? No, but I've set an extremely poor example.
Have you ever perverted the institutions of a culture for your own personal power or profit? I have the big M wrapped around my finger.
Have you ever denied yourself? No, I give in to my every whim. Just call me Id.
Have you ever betrayed yourself? Occasionally.
Did you come to Earth for evil purposes? All will be revealed... Mwahahaha...