A/N: I do not own.
***
The detective kept his mouth a straight line as the tigress laved his face with her rough pink tongue; his large black eyes only betrayed the faintest glimmer of concern and discomfort-it was pretty much the same reaction whenever Light touched him (L wasn't fond of any physical contact and that went double for creatures that would probably kill him.)
"I did not realize her tongue is so rough..." L murmured in contrition.
Light smirked sadistically. "Did you know a tiger's tongue is especially evolved to scrape meat from bone?"
"35%."
"The hell!" Light demanded indignantly.
"I was trying to apologize, Light-kun" ...and you threw it back in my face. "But you seem to enjoy seeing me in pain and are gloating at my current predicament. 36%"
No more than you did! "What! I just thought I'd share an interesting fact," Light said innocently.
L glared coldly.
"I'm sorry if you didn't find it interesting..." Light said as he began to rise to his feet while the tigress was occupied to begin the process of finding the scraps of his clothing. His senses were dulled by exhaustion, hunger, and pain but he had a nagging feeling at the back of his mind, like he was forgetting something-something important... and it had something to do with his clothes beyond freezing to death… but before he could continue that train of thought Eruko paused in her "L washing" to snarl at Light.
"Wha- H-hey. Eruko, I thought we were pals!"
"I don't think she wants you doing that," L said in his usual bland tone of voice. "Perhaps she feels threatened by your movements. I suppose we are enjoying Eruko's hospitality so if Eruko-sama wants us to crawl, I'd say it's best we abide by her wishes."
"Yeah okay..." Light shrunk away from the snarling fangs. Satisfied, the tigress resumed licking L. Light sighed. Of course escape was quite impossible. He couldn't move very far anyway, what with the chain and all, and in any case he wasn't leaving without Ryuuzaki-no matter how much of an ass he was being.
Light huddled up against the wild tiger and his arch nemesis. The soft white and black fur of the tiger tickled against his bare skin. It wasn't as freezing cold as it was outside the cave (Light wondered why that was. It was protected from the frigid winds but how deep were they underground? Perhaps they were near some sort of geothermal vent?) but it was still plenty cold in the tiger's den especially since he was stripped of his clothing (damn this was humiliating!) but he was even more cold and miserable. Light did his best to ignore the cramping, twisting of nausea and hunger pangs of his stomach, bringing his knees to his chest and unconsciously sitting in a very L-like position as he huddled against them for warmth.
L himself mercifully refrained from commenting on Light's brooding and only watched the contours of Light's exposed back with his owlish eyes. His nemesis was truly a beautiful man. It was such a shame that he was rotten to the core.
Did you really mean it? What you said to me before?
The detective felt something twist in his gut as he realized that even if Light was Kira he couldn't help but be glad to have him here with him. Though he had stretched the truth when he called Light his friend (L was a letter, a symbol. He was not just a man but something more and so he didn't have friends... and most certainly he didn't make friends with his suspects) he would hate to be here alone in the cold and the dark, trapped with a wild animal of which he knew nothing of its motives. And though Light was no doubt Kira, and therefore his enemy, he was at least an enemy that L intimately understood and so that made him sort of a friend (he was the closest thing L had in any case). Really, they probably understood each other better than most old married couples...
L was jolted from that line of thought as the tigress began ripping his clothes off just as it had done to Light. L managed to avoid reacting... much. At least L imagined he was more dignified about his ordeal than Light had been, which was always a plus.
"Where are the cubs?" Light suddenly exclaimed.
"What?" L asked in a hushed tone let he upset the creature that was currently nuzzling into his privates. Light saw L was in that stage of his "cleaning" and blushed, but forced himself to watch. He wanted to make sure that the tiger did nothing worse to L than what was done to him.
As L squirmed beneath the tiger's tongue Light put a comforting hand on his shoulder and found himself smiling stupidly as he watched the awkwardly writhing detective getting licked lovingly by a Siberian tiger.
Ryuuzaki looks so... CUTE like this.
Light supposed he had enough to worry about at the moment. Whatever it was-that thing he couldn't remember through the fog of hunger and pain-it couldn't be that important. He was just grateful to be alive, to be alive with Ryuuzaki...
Interesting. L of course noticed the way Light was looking at him...
"L doesn't seem to be in heat."
"What?"
"Sorry, I meant Eruko." Light ignored the slip and continued on his own tangential, totally unrelated train of thought. "And she doesn't look pregnant. So where are the cubs?"
"I see what you're saying. Tigers mate year round but they are most likely to do so in April and in November. You're right, Light-kun. She should definitely have..."
"She lost her..." No way...
Light turned back around to talk to L again (and tried not to be so obvious about his staring).
They both fell silent as the tigress made another rumbling noise and cuddled against them both. A moment of understanding passed between the two genii.
"It's not logical..."
"Ryuuzaki, it's an animal! You can't expect it to play by your rules."
"I must confess my experience with animals is limited. How about you, Light-kun?"
Light looked away, his overgrown bangs falling into his face. "No, dad never let me have a pet..."
"...That he knew about in any case... Tell me, do Shinigami take a lot of care to raise?"
"Ha ha. Yes, that's very funny, Ryuuzaki." Light glanced back again to see his reaction and saw that Ryuuzaki had that look on his face that seemed to suggest he had gone into "extreme thinking mode" which was exceptionally comical seeing as he was doing it as the tiger lapped at his squirming, naked body. Light was beginning to suspect that L saying he HAD to sit a certain way or his deductive powers would be decreased by 40% was pure bullshit.
"I suppose there are accounts of wild animals rescuing humans but it's so rare..."
"Well it's happening now-" Light interjected.
L's breath suddenly hitched again as the tiger moved on to licking at his toes. Light had long suspected that L had a foot fetish.
That's pretty much confirmed now. Good to know.
"We can only hope so. I'm still not convinced she didn't invite us here... for dinner."
"Ryuuzaki, she can hear you and that's hardly polite."
"I was teasing you before, Light-kun. Do you think politeness is going to matter to a tiger?"
"I think... I think she can understand us. In any case being polite can't hurt. Look, we can only hope that this is one of those rare exceptions to the rule. I mean… she saved us. It wouldn't make any sense to kill us now!"
"It's an animal, Light-kun. You can't expect it to play by your rules." L echoed Light's earlier words. Of course Light knew that if the tiger intended to kill them there wasn't anything they could do about it. In that way it was kind of like living with a Shinigami. Light preferred to stay positive and focus on the things he could control. Like Ryuuzaki's mood. L's negative attitude about their hopeless situation was beginning to annoy him so Light attempted to cheer him up.
"Say Ryuuzaki, you know maybe one day there will be a story about us. Imagine it. The Legend of Light and L!"
"You mean Kira and L."
Light shot him a dark look. "The Legend of Light and L-" Light insisted.
"Light-kun, has anyone ever told you, you seem to have delusions of grandeur?" L interrupted again to ask. "And why is your name first anyway? Shouldn't it be the Legend of L and Kira?"
"No, Light and L. Kind of like Romulus and Remus…"
"Romulus and Remus. You mean like how Romulus killed Remus and then went on to rule an empire and was later deified? 37%."
"There's just no talking to you, is there?" Light huffed. "No I meant like there'd be a legend of us like there was a legend about them, how a wild wolf saved lost children..."
"A wolf is not a tiger" the detective pointed out argumentatively.
L stared as Light rolled his eyes, again marveling that Light resembled a normal teenager instead of a madman with a God complex. "Yes, I must say your deductive skills are excellent."
"Do you really think a tiger intends to raise us like feral children? We aren't children, Light-kun."
"Maybe... you were right..."
"About you being Kira?" L asked innocently.
"What? No! Dammit Ryuuzaki! I was going to say that maybe Eruko finds us childish enough."
L stuck out his tongue.
Just then the tiger finished up washing L and cuddled up against them both. They didn't have much of a choice seeing as it was several hundred pounds of cat doing the cuddling. The tiger rolled over onto her side, and Light could see now that Eruko was most definitely female as she exposed her many teats that stood out on against her snowy coat.
"Light-kun... how did that Legend go again?"
"Romulus and Remus? I think they drank the wolf's milk to surviv-"
Light and L stopped and looked at each other again, looked at the tigress, looked at each other again the whole spectrum of emotions painted across their faces.
"I-I think she... "
"...She wants us to..."
Light decided that this was the weirdest thing to ever happen to him and that included finding a killer notebook, having a Shinigami show up in his bedroom, and being chained to his eternal rival.
Starvation won out over any misgivings or disgust or shame that the genii might have felt about the situation-they were long past caring. Luckily, the tigress permitted it as they scrambled over each other like a pair of overgrown cubs, their naked bodies pressed close together as they competed to suckle at the tiger's teats getting mouthfuls of fur as they sucked. The tigress rumbled contentedly as the boys suckled, her paws making biscuits like an overgrown pussy cat-claws like scimitars flexing and retracting.
Light had to force himself to slow down-though ravenous with hunger he was still feeling sick from his ill-thought out experiment with the Death Note, but he didn't think about that, or much of anything else at the moment as the rich, warm milk flowed into his mouth and down his throat. L had to slow down as well too as he drank the rich, creamy substance so fast that he almost choked. The tiger's milk wasn't as sweet as L would have liked but it was plenty rich (all that was missing was… maybe some strawberries?) The detective drank and drank until she was dry. L turned and saw how Light was sucking at his much more slowly-some of the white liquid was escaping down Light's chin. Still hunger-crazed L pounced, lashing out with his tongue to lick the streaming cream right off Light's face.
"Ryuuza-" Light began to protest when L plunged his tongue deep into Light's mouth. The detective wasn't known to respect personal boundaries even at the best of times but now when he was starving, exhausted, and sugar-deprived-honestly, Light should have known all bets were off. L was very thorough, he cleaned along Light's tongue and the back of his teeth for any traces of the milk. As he pressed close against the warm body of his chain-mate, scouring his hot mouth for any traces of that life-giving liquid L became aware of a strange purring sound. The detective smirked when he realized it wasn't coming from the tiger.
"R-Ryuuzaki..." Light panted, blushing furiously after L had reluctantly pulled away for air. Light idly wondered how L somehow came to be sitting in his lap so that he was sandwiched between the warm bodies of the detective and the tiger.
Light's hands wandered and he realized just how easily he could count the bones of Ryuuzaki's ribs and felt a flaring of compassion towards the other man (his nemesis, his rival… his equal, and yes, the greatest man he had ever known)-both of them were fairly thin to begin with but after starving in the wilderness L seemed so much lighter than he did before. Like he was fading away… Light was overtaken by that irrational, feverish thought: Don't leave me. Not after all this!
L wore a rare grin as he gazed at his suspect, prim and proper Light-kun who was now flushed and panting, his hair a disheveled mess thanks to the work of the tiger's tongue, and a suggestive looking milk mustache still gracing his lips, and decided he liked him like this. Especially the way Light was looking at him. It was such an interesting reaction-Light appeared shocked and embarrassed but not angry-far from it. L was surprised when Light clung to him desperately as if he feared that if he let go he'd suddenly cease to exist.
"You know I couldn't just let you waste food, Light-kun," L explained softly, his soft baritone was colored with amusement.
There was a flash of irritation across the other man's features before he wordlessly shot out, grabbing L by the back of the neck, his fingers entwined in his raven hair, to pull him into another bruising kiss.