Kira, Sweetheart Ch 8 An Excellent Day For An Exorcism (Part 2)
A/N: I don't own Death Note.
***
"Please, explain this to me Rem. Tell me everything!"
"Then you'll help Misa?" the violet-haired creature asked, looking hopeful.
L hesitated. "I'll see what I can do."
"That's not enough!" The Shinigami snarled.
"I need to know the situation before I can give you an answer. Please Rem, she has nothing to lose at the moment. You're cooperation now can only help her case!"
The creature sighed but began recounting the rules of the notebook. When that did not appear to be enough she attempted to say what normally no human would ever be told in such a way that wouldn't have her crumbling to dust.
"I-I do not know the specifics. Just… the notebook wants to be used. It changes the owner somehow and the Shinigami is bound to remain close to the human for the conversion process. You see, the role of the owner is akin to that of a God of Death. They become hunters instead of prey. Owning the notebook changes the human. They do things they would never do on their own. Any qualities that would make the human a poor killer will be stripped away-sanity, morality, their soul whatever you humans call it these days, it's replaced by a piece of that God of Death's… essence."
As Rem continued to make excuses for Misa, L's mind continued to think and rethink and over-think the Rules of Death he had been told...
"You said you're here because of your fallen friend. That means Shinigami can die… and Rule 36."
"What about it?"
"That rules stands out. The way it's phrased, it seems like it was written more for Shinigami than it for humans. There are male and female gods of death, but it is neither permitted, nor possible for them to have sexual relations with humans. The gods of death also cannot have sex with each other… So how do you reproduce?"
"It doesn't matter if Shinigami die. There are always Shinigami."
"That's my point. It's a Shinigami's weapon so why have these rules for humans to use it?"
A conversion process… Hunters instead of prey…
"You're like… a vampire! You can't reproduce on your own so … That's why you're so protective of Misa! She's like your daughter!"
"I've said too much." Rem's ashen face seemed to go even paler. In all the eons she had existed Rem had never met a human this sharp. "Never repeat that to anyone!"
L wondered if he had managed to gain some more leverage against the creature or if it was now just more inclined to end his life.
"Then I was right. You care for Misa."
"My… feelings for Misa are… an aberration. Among my people, it is a sin to care for humans." The Shinigami looked embarrassed "Honestly, I never thought I'd have this problem. As a species, on the whole, humans disgust me-no offense."
"None taken." L replied to the grotesque-looking monster in his usual sardonic way. "But I don't understand. If you care for Misa and knew that it would affect her like this then why give her the notebook?"
The creature just radiated shame and heartbreak "I had forgotten this."
"You forgot?" How could anyone just forget something like that?
"I am very old, human. I have no doubt have forgotten more than you have ever learned in your brief lifetime. And I do not often come to the human world. As I said, I'm not particularly fond of humans."
"Just Ms. Amane."
"Lawli-" L shot her a glare and the monster quickly corrected "Ryuuzaki. Please. This is all my fault! Misa is a sweet girl-she isn't a murderer. I… corrupted her. Yes, I corrupted her without even realizing it. If your justice must punish someone then don't punish her. Punish me! This is my fault, not hers!"
"I don't suppose you can prove any of this?"
The Shinigami's eyes flashed in anger. "If you want proof all you have to do is wait. You are now the owner of that notebook-that means now I possess you. I promise if you keep that book long enough the same thing will happen to you."
The notebook fell out from between the detective's fingertips. It thumped audibly onto the coffee table. L simply stared at (into) it's abysmal black cover.
…The abyss gazes also...
"When?"
L glanced back at the monster to find that its gold eyes had taken to gleaming a sickening shade of red.
"The conversion has already begun."
At that declaration L lost his precarious balance on his chair. The detective remained where he fell, a stricken look upon his face. He was really wishing he had some sweets right now or better yet a certain auburn-haired young man to hold onto…
"I apologize for resorting to threats so quickly. I feared that merely begging for your mercy would be in vain. Qualities such as mercy are usually the first to go. Though perhaps you might yet be kinder if you refrained from holding that book in your hand. So you will help Misa, yes?"
"I thought… Misa was the owner-" L began when Rem interrupted him.
"Misa was the owner. I told you, I convinced her to forfeit ownership and her memories of the notebook."
"But then shouldn't whoever picked it up first be the owner?"
"Whoever picked it up must have given it to you with a strong desire to give it up."
L's thoughts were racing. That was Mogi. The detective recalled how the big man had shivered and thrust the black notebook at him. "Take it! It gives me the creeps!"
That was even before the Shinigami had appeared.
Mogi, curiously hadn't screamed like everyone else when the Shinigami had appeared but L had just attributed it to the man's strong work ethic since, as usual, a thick stack of papers held the man's full attention-L figured he just hadn't noticed it yet.
"He gave it up so he doesn't see or hear me. Only the owner and those who have touched the notebook can see and hear me. It's as I told you, give up the notebook and you forget everything about the notebook and Shinigami. But if you give it up now before you help Misa I will kill you."
"I haven't written in it yet," L murmured to himself. "Then there is a choice. Good to know."
"You think that now. But you should know that few Shinigami would show you the… kindness that I have." Rem explained, grimacing as if she had said a dirty word. "You are lucky that you knew what it was when you found it and that I explained it to you. You know the standard tradition among the Shinigami is to throw it at a human and let them figure it out. Know that even if you don't write in the book the book's influence is undeniable. It's meant to be used. If you choose to keep it even if you never write in it yourself you will eventually force others to write in it for you. The book will change you. You will become the very thing you most despise. This is the curse of the notebook."
The eccentric detective still seemed to be staring off into space. In reality his deductions were coming so fast he could barely process them.
"Kira… If this is all true then the same thing… that's how…"
"I take it that Kira means something to you, human." Rem said, mocking L's earlier words.
Rem had despised Kira. She hated him for making Misa feel this way and for killing so many of his own kind. However, that hatred had softened a bit after witnessing him performing that act of love and sacrifice. He had saved this man's life with no thought to his own. Lke Gelus. Come to think of it, if Kira was a Shinigami, he would have been dust long ago. Perhaps Kira was even as pure as Misa? (As Misa should have been…)
L met the Shinigami's eyes with a hardened stare as he answered her. "Yes… Kira is the one I am sworn to defeat."
The Shinigami sounded amused when it replied. "No. He means more to you than that. You're just like Misa."
"WHAT?"
"When she thinks of him it makes her cheeks go all red too."
L was pretty sure his cheeks were "going all red" right now.
"Perhaps we can help each other. It's obvious you care for Kira."
"You think I-?"
"Yes." L glared, annoyed at being interrupted again. "You should know Kira's Shinigami, Ryuk, won't be so willing to let his human go. Please. Help Misa and I will help you save Kira. "
***
L stirred at the bitter, sugarless oatmeal that Watari had at some point placed at his workstation with his uncanny butler-ninja skills as he pondered, with equal bitterness, on all the things he was being forced to give up. After all he had sacrificed for the sake of justice couldn't he at least keep one good thing in his life? Okay maybe it wasn't exactly a good thing. Actually it was probably very bad for his continued health and would ultimately be the death of him, but dammit, he enjoyed it! It made him happy!
L didn't want to give up Kira.
L was prepared to believe the Shinigami that Light was possessed and controlled and shouldn't be held accountable. It sounded like a believable enough excuse even if it was pure bullshit. He was ready to let Light off Scott-free even knowing everything he had done. As far as L was concerned, he solved the case, he had his fun, and Kira wouldn't kill again. The day was saved. Justice was done. Blah, blah, blah. That part wasn't bothering him.
Nor was it that in order to give Light a clean slate he would, in effect, be brainwashing Light-or rather "reprogramming" him, undoing the brainwashing brought on by the book. In any case he would be controlling him to be good. It was not much better than Kira, really, but L wasn't too bothered by that. He was L, the world's greatest detective that lived in the shadows, engaged in unsavory business. He always knew he was a murder spree away from being Kira himself and he freely compared himself with his nemesis.
No, what was bothering L was that if Rem's story was true and Misa and Light had been brainwashed-that meant the person he knew, the Light L knew, Kira… wasn't real, had never been real. It was some alternate personality brought on by trauma or demonic possession or something and the person he knew wasn't the true Light. Therein lay the problem. He liked the Light he knew, even though he was Kira. L always knew but… but for the first time in his life he felt something and it was for… Dammit, they had something here! Watari had even given his somewhat grudging approval. And now L had the means to "save" him but… it would also change him. Without Kira who was Light? Would doing this, in effect, kill the boy he knew?
But this was Light's shot at happiness. Should he really deprive the teen of a chance at redemption and a happy life just because he was bored and wanted someone to talk to? And though L was pretty new at this he was fairly certain that keeping Light as Kira and holding him against his will wasn't exactly a recipe for a happy, loving relationship. But if he made Light forget… L knew he was being selfish but he didn't want to lose whatever this was that they had. Would Light even give him the time of day if he wasn't Kira? After all Kira was only pretending to be his friend to get his name. Once that was removed, Light would no longer have a reason to put up with the detective's many quirks, bad habits, and harassing behaviors...
"WHO did this? Give me their name!" The teen had demanded upon seeing the scars Beyond Birthday had given him, shaking with righteous fury. Protective. Light had protected him from Misa.
He cares. Even if it comes out of a desire to destroy me… he cares. I mean something to him. Perhaps then I am the problem.
It was with Kira that had engaged L intellectually without Kira would Light become… boring? Without Kira could Light even capture his interest? And that he was considering this… considering abandoning Light after he saved his life… Did this make him a terrible person? L didn't want to abandon Light after the case was over but, realistically, what other outcome could there possibly be? Things would go back to the way they were. Light would go back to his old life of being a student and L would move on to his next case…
No.
L abruptly stood up, his head swimming from sitting so long. The detective's bare feet quietly padded down the hall.
"Where are you going, human? Have you decided?"
L nodded discreetly to the Shinigami "I'm going to talk to Misa. There's something I need to know…"
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