Troubled Youth
Well, Lets see.........
I wrote this huge entry the other day and then, when I went to send it, it deleted. Everything lost, and well, I wasn't up to writing it again. See, earlier this week, I was in kinda this "mood." I was feeling completely antisocial, felt like shit, I was pissy, felt insecure about my relationship and then, to top everything off, I found out I had a sister. And they way I found out was complete bullshit. Here's the story...
I was on my way to a craft store with my mom to get some supplies for some necklaces I want to start making. On the way into the store I was telling my mom how I was kinda upset at the fact that Adam went out to drink with his ex girlfriend. Like I said before, I was in a pissy, bad, insecure mood to start with so even though I trust Adam, the whole thing made me feel even more like shit. Well then, on with the story, so my mom says to me, "Yeah, there was this one time when your dad went out to dinner with your sisters mother and I kind of felt the same way." I stop and reply to her, "I have a sister?!" And my mom goes, "Yeah, hasn't your father ever told you?" Then my mother proceeds to tell me that I have a half sister that's about 38 and I met her once when I was 2. Her real name is Jemma but my dad was only about 18 and the girl was about 16/17 so they gave her up for adoption and she was renamed Heather. To some of you, you might think, so what, no big deal. but to me, I was always an only child. Now, I could be an aunt. And I want to reach her, but I don't know if my Dad keeps in touch with her, or if she even wants to know about me. She was a little younger than me when she found out I existed. Does she ever wonder about me? Shit like that has been running through my head the past couple days. When I first found out it was awful. Again, I was feeling all crappy and then I find out that I was not longer Daddies Little Girl. Something that I held close to my heart my whole life and now that was gone too. Now that I'm better with the world again, I've come to be okay with this. (I think so far anyway) I just still have to talk to my dad about it. Why he never told me, and if he still keeps in touch with her because I'd like to get to know my sister.
Wow, sorry. that was a long story. I'd be surprised if any of you actually read it. I only have like 4 friends on here so I don't really expect you guys to give a shit about all the stupid little things that I ramble on about.
That's all I really feel like writing right now. I'm going back to Menomonie either tomorrow night or Friday sometime. I miss my guy. Although, I don't think he really misses me. He always calls after work and hasn't tonight. Barely ever wants to talk on the phone with me.........But I'm sure I'm just being stupid. I'm usually not so depended in such stupid little things, but when you start to get used to things like that and then they stop happening it makes you start to wonder. I'm sure he's just out drinking or getting stoned.....Pat, if you read this, I think you're right......He needs to slow down. I'm starting to get worried too.
Later cats
~Reanna
I wrote this huge entry the other day and then, when I went to send it, it deleted. Everything lost, and well, I wasn't up to writing it again. See, earlier this week, I was in kinda this "mood." I was feeling completely antisocial, felt like shit, I was pissy, felt insecure about my relationship and then, to top everything off, I found out I had a sister. And they way I found out was complete bullshit. Here's the story...
I was on my way to a craft store with my mom to get some supplies for some necklaces I want to start making. On the way into the store I was telling my mom how I was kinda upset at the fact that Adam went out to drink with his ex girlfriend. Like I said before, I was in a pissy, bad, insecure mood to start with so even though I trust Adam, the whole thing made me feel even more like shit. Well then, on with the story, so my mom says to me, "Yeah, there was this one time when your dad went out to dinner with your sisters mother and I kind of felt the same way." I stop and reply to her, "I have a sister?!" And my mom goes, "Yeah, hasn't your father ever told you?" Then my mother proceeds to tell me that I have a half sister that's about 38 and I met her once when I was 2. Her real name is Jemma but my dad was only about 18 and the girl was about 16/17 so they gave her up for adoption and she was renamed Heather. To some of you, you might think, so what, no big deal. but to me, I was always an only child. Now, I could be an aunt. And I want to reach her, but I don't know if my Dad keeps in touch with her, or if she even wants to know about me. She was a little younger than me when she found out I existed. Does she ever wonder about me? Shit like that has been running through my head the past couple days. When I first found out it was awful. Again, I was feeling all crappy and then I find out that I was not longer Daddies Little Girl. Something that I held close to my heart my whole life and now that was gone too. Now that I'm better with the world again, I've come to be okay with this. (I think so far anyway) I just still have to talk to my dad about it. Why he never told me, and if he still keeps in touch with her because I'd like to get to know my sister.
Wow, sorry. that was a long story. I'd be surprised if any of you actually read it. I only have like 4 friends on here so I don't really expect you guys to give a shit about all the stupid little things that I ramble on about.
That's all I really feel like writing right now. I'm going back to Menomonie either tomorrow night or Friday sometime. I miss my guy. Although, I don't think he really misses me. He always calls after work and hasn't tonight. Barely ever wants to talk on the phone with me.........But I'm sure I'm just being stupid. I'm usually not so depended in such stupid little things, but when you start to get used to things like that and then they stop happening it makes you start to wonder. I'm sure he's just out drinking or getting stoned.....Pat, if you read this, I think you're right......He needs to slow down. I'm starting to get worried too.
Later cats
~Reanna