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[realwomanchild]

I have often been referred to by a friend as the voice of reason. Most likely because I turn things over in my mind for a long while before I jump to conclusions. I've been the sounding board to, in theory, help a friend not be unreasonable. I tend to be pretty good at seeing and understanding more than just one side of a situation

Comments

Re: ...

[nocturnalfright]

Perhaps what I perceived as callousness was in fact discomfort/nervousness. I know all too well about people incorrectly perceiving my moods and behavior, so it totally stands to reason that I incorrectly perceived what you were feeling/going through.

So as you said in a previous post, sometimes it is difficult to know how to handle things. Fabian and I have felt, as of late, that some people (not just you) are more interested in our home and what it can offer than they are in our company. How do you delicately broach that topic? Well, I was provided a way to broach all topics (albeit indelicately) when I was called upon by my housing manager yesterday. I'm not always so great at speaking my mind in a non-brusque, non-confrontational manner. I've never denied that, as even my own husband sometimes thinks I am too heavy-handed in how I deal with crap.

I did not know how to answer Hunter's questions. Or Xane's. While I did freely offer you my home as a sanctity of sorts, I thought that common sense would dictate that perhaps you say your goodbyes to your not-so-husband in another room, not in front of my kids should they be present. Tasteful goodbyes, perhaps...but Hunter is neither stupid nor blind, and you must have known that I was put in a shitty and awkward position, a position that I'd personally never want to put a friend or their kids in. I guess this boils down to perception, ultimately. I freely offered my home, and I perceive that as of late, many people are more interested in the house than anything else. It is a really shitty to feel as though you are being taken for granted, and due to my hypersensitivity issues (because of similiar events in the past), perhaps I am wrong in the way that I feel, perhaps I am perceiving things incorrectly, but love it or hate it, right or wrong, this is how I am feeling.

-Jenn

Re: ...

[realwomanchild]

And its fine to feel that way, and you have heard me say many times in the past, even if no one intended you to feel that way, because you do, it's a valid feeling and has to be handled as such. I'm sorry to have ever put you in an uncomfortable position, that was never my intent. However, it happened, and there is no way that can be changed. I'm sorry if you ever questioned if my being at your house was to see you or just to use your home. Before I moved, I let everyone know that all of my visits with everyone were going to be consolidated to 2 days a week, gas money aside, that is a killer drive. It had always been a given that unless otherwise stated, those visits would mean seeing you and Fabian too, because I enjoyed being around the both of you. It never mattered to me whether we hung out at your house or went somewhere else. I never really cared. All of that is irrelevant. I'm sorry if you ever felt at anytime that I was taking advantage of your kindness and generosity. From the bottom of my heart, I mean that.

Re: ...

[nocturnalfright]

And I believe that, Krista. I do. If I didn't, at this point, I'd certainly tell you. I am just at a loss as to what to do, how to handle this.

-J

Re: ...

[kittay]

"Perhaps what I perceived as callousness was in fact discomfort/nervousness."
and, perhaps, why people (according to you) incorrectly preceive your moods and behavior is because you don't know what your moods and behavior are at the time. how should anyone be able to decipher what you don't know your are encoding?