FIC: Improper Use of Needles
OMG ya'll, I WROTE something... and it's finished (although there might be more).
Title: Improper Use of Needles
Fandom: Naruto
Characters: Iruka, Genma, Kotetsu, and shhh, it's a surprise...
Genre: Kinda crack
Rating: R-ish, maybe a little higher
Warnings: Language, perverted use of medical equipment
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto does, along with whatever other people/entities are along for the ride.
Summary: Genma says he can do something with his senbon. Kotetsu says no way. Iruka gets caught in the middle. Again. (basically gratuitous Iruka-abuse)
"Nope. Not possible."
Genma smiled, waggled the senbon. Then his eyebrows.
"No," Kotetsu repeated. Emphatically. More emphatically, because he was always emphatic, in a whiny, lazy sorta way. "Not. Possible."
"What do you think, Iruka?" Genma asked, turning his attention to the other man in the file room.
Iruka looked up, pen in mouth as he tried to shove three scrolls back into a cubby. This wasn't how he wanted to spend a Sunday afternoon, searching for a misfiled scroll. Sure, it was raining, it wasn't like he could be doing laundry. But he could be grading. Or reading. Or napping, even. "Mnnn?"
He'd been listening, but also hoping he wouldn't be drawn into this particular conversation.
"NOT. POSSIBLE."
Setting the pen aside, Iruka looked from one man to the other. "Ah. I know acupuncture is an established medical practice, but I have to side with Kotetsu on this one. Stimulating, um, sexual response is one thing. Stimulating to the point, of, um, completion, ah, is something completely different."
Kotetsu grinned, nodded. "See? Even Iruka doesn't believe you, and he's the most gullible, I mean, um... owwww!" He glared at his coworker, rubbing a spot on his cheek. "That's gonna leave a mark!"
Genma ignored the outburst. If Kotetsu hadn't learned to avoid annoying Iruka when there were writing tools in the room, well, what was the old saying? You can't fix stupid. "I can prove it. Just need a volunteer."
"Yeah, like anyone is going to let you shove needles in their skin on purpose."
Iruka bent his head back to his work, nodding in absent agreement. "Genma, you kill people with those things." He tried hard not to think about the proposed effect. A shinobi was supposed to channel sexual energy into more worthy pursuits. A lesson Genma seemed to have missed.
"Bock bock bock... bock bock bock." Genma pawed the ground with a foot, pretend-pecked at the wall.
"Laugh it up, chicken boy," Kotetsu snarled. "I'm telling you're full of shit, you're lying, and we all know it." But he was clenching his fists.
This was going to get ugly. Kotetsu never could let a taunt go, and Genma was willing to escalate. "What are the chances of you two actually working?" Iruka asked, mostly to himself. Slim to none. Honestly, his students were better behaved.
The air pressure in the room changed. Iruka felt a cold breeze in the windowless room, he was sure of it, just across the back of his neck. He looked up to find Kotetsu and Genma smiling. At each other. Oh, fudge. This was bad. "What?"
"How much is it worth to you to find this scroll?" Kotetsu asked, picking at his vest.
"Not enough to have needles shoved into my knees," Iruka answered at once. Oh, he knew where this was going.
Too bad for him, Genma was a step ahead. "How much is it worth to you to find this scroll without destroying the file room in the process?" He picked up a file from one cubby, tossed it into another.
"Hey! We already checked that one!" Iruka yelled, then stalled when Genma waved the scroll in his face.
Another taunt. Tick tock. Agree to their terms, or give up all of his free time rechecking the bins.
“Deal?” Genma asked, smiling wider, and Iruka knew the man could see the resignation on his face.
"You really are the best choice, after all," Kotetsu explained. "I'm sure you don't want an audience, and I can trust your report. Plus your, well, let's just say you don't have enough prior experience to influence -- FUCK! Will you quit doing that?!?"
"Hnn. That was my last pen," Iruka muttered, looking around the work space for something else to throw. Too pissed to worry he was blushing to the tips of his ears. He had only himself to blame, telling Kotetsu something like that.
"Deal?" Genma repeated, holding his pen out as an offering.
Iruka growled as he snatched the pen. Contemplated shoving it in Genma's eyeball for a split second, then dropped it on the table. "Fine. Find the scroll without messing up anything. You have thirty minutes."
Kotetsu opened his mouth, but Genma shook his head. Eyed the pen meaningfully. "We'll do it in fifteen."
"Deal." Iruka stomped out of the room and slammed the door behind him. Sagged against it. What was he thinking? He'd just agreed to let Genma stick needles, senbon, no less, in his knees. He could end up crippled. Or worse! And why? To...
Well, he wasn't sure exactly why. Granted he was curious. But not that curious. And he did have some other work. And Kotetsu never would back down, not from anything, and Iruka hated to see his friend needled like that. And...
Grinning at his unintentional mental pun, Iruka heard said friend through the door. "Still say it's not possible. And if you fuck up and hurt him in any way, I'm telling Godaime and she'll shove senbon up your ass. And I'll sell tickets."
Iruka chuckled, pushed off the door. "Time starts now!" he called over his shoulder. Okay, fine. Sometimes friends did weird things for friends.
Really, really weird.
*****
The next week went down as the third longest in Iruka's life. Okay, not on the level of the Kyuubi attack, or Team Seven's chuunin exam. Second tier long.
Like a condemned man, forced to live life normally. Knowing the end was near. Because Genma admitted he hadn't actually tried this before, and there could be some side effects that would make movement difficult the next day.
So Iruka lived his week as if it were his last. Which meant he did exactly what he normally did.
Saturday evening found him not out with friends, or at the baths. Or even grading. No, Saturday evening, he was lying on a table in a birthing room, staring at a mirror on the ceiling. Two of them, angled so he could see Genma, and Genma could see him, but there was a sheet between them.
But Iruka could still see he was naked from the waist down. And his calves were strapped into stirrups Genma called candy canes. There was nothing sweet about them. "Why do they have mirrors on the ceiling?" he groused. "You'd think the way women complain about childbirth, they wouldn't have time to be primping."
Genma snorted, looked up to catch Iruka's eyes. "That may be the most sexist thing I've ever heard you say. Who knew Iruka-sensei was a closet pig?"
"It's no wonder it hurts, these things are uncomfortable to begin with." Iruka pulled at the stirrups, gave up. Pulled at the wrist restraints. "You know I can get out of these, right?"
"Fuck, I hope so. A genin should be able to get out of those. But try to keep them on? If you jerk at the wrong time, I might make a mistake."
"Your bedside manner blows."
Genma laughed, pulled on gloves with a snap, then picked up a needle and twirled it in his fingers. "And you're so cute when you're grumpy." He sat back on the rolling stool, considering for a moment. "And not half bad, half-naked."
"No touching anything but knees," Iruka growled. Closed his eyes for a moment. No, not seeing was worse.
As much as he growled, though, Iruka appreciated the clinical environment. And Genma, as much as he teased, was being surprisingly professional about the entire thing. Not that Iruka thought he had a snowball's chance in Suna of getting aroused, not like this. And forget coming. He could hear Kotetsu's voice in his head. Not possible.
"What're you grinning about?" Genma asked. "I'm about to shove senbon into the back of your knees and give you pleasure like you've never experienced."
"Just do it already." Iruka closed his eyes again, then dragged them open. No. Definitely better to watch.
"Mmmmm, bossy. What're you gonna do --"
Iruka curled up so he could see Genma's head over the sheet. "If you say 'punish me', I'm getting off this table and kicking your ass."
Genma blinked. The grin wavered, then widened. All teeth. "You actually think you could," he said with a shake of his head. "And Kotetsu trusts you? I don't know who's more delusional."
"Fine. I'll get off this table and attempt to kick your ass." Iruka lay back down, stared up at the ceiling. "Why're we even using this sheet?"
"For your privacy. Hospital doors don't lock from the inside," Genma said, holding a tip of the needle to a flame.
"But all they have to do is look up!"
Genma smiled, winked. "What's worse? Seeing you naked and throbbing, or seeing the reflection of you naked and throbbing?" He felt the tip with gloved fingers, then doused it with antiseptic. "I could take it down. I'd much rather see your face directly when you're writhing and begging me to let you come."
"Who's delusional now?" Iruka asked, head against the paper sheet. Dammit, why did he keep closing his eyes?
"Nnnn. Okay, I'm ready. You'll feel a prick, then pressure." Genma put his hand on the top of Iruka's right knee. "You might feel strange at first, until I get the second one in. Take short breaths if you start feeling dizzy. Whoohh whoohh whoohh. Like that."
Iruka snarled under his breath. He didn't need labor and delivery breathing exercises for this. Took a few deep breaths, to calm his heartbeat. Flexed his feet. Then his hands.
"Stop wiggling," Genma said, his voice distant. "Concentrating here."
"Hate you," Iruka murmured. Almost closed his eyes again, then remembered. It was worse.
So he watched. The needle going in - he felt a prick. Surprised because it didn't hurt, not really. Not like he expected a needle that size to feel. Watched it going into his knee, as much as he could see of it. Going in much further than he was comfortable seeing, but even that didn't hurt. It felt weird. Weird, because he couldn't feel the needle anymore. Or he could feel it, but it felt like it was... bending. Was that possible?
Genma looked up. "Surprised you're watching," he said, then picked up the next needle to repeat the process. "How does it feel?"
"Weird," Iruka murmured. He could feel something swirling inside of him. Not his chakra, that was steady. Something underneath the chakra. Okay, maybe it was his chakra, but not the stuff he usually used. This felt... He squinted, not really seeing Genma. This felt basic. Primal.
"Yeah. I'm opening up smaller meridians, so all of your root qi is moving around. Your chakra exists as an overlay, it's practically a different system after so many years of training."
Iruka nodded, then nodded again, watching the posters on the wall sparkle. Giggled. This was like being drunk. Maybe like being drugged. Like floating in the river. Relaxing. Strange. But it wasn't arousing, not even a little bit.
And he was starting to feel the tiniest bit queasy.
"Breathe, Iruka," Genma said, frowning at the sudden greying of Iruka's face. Damn, that'd been fast. "I can't work any faster. Fuck's sake, man, don't you masturbate?" It was the only explanation he could come up with on the fly. Excess root qi.
"Shinobi rules," Iruka mumbled, holding onto his own words as he breathed around them. "Desire is a weakness that can be exploited. Pursuit of sensuality is detrimental to a ninja's training."
"Idiot," Genma sniffed. Held Iruka's other leg steady and placed the needle against skin. "Surprised you don't choke on your own hypocrisy." He scratched the skin, experimentally, seeking the best placement.
Iruka flinched, mouth falling open. "Ahhh..." He felt that, a prick on his skin, but the feeling seemed to travel up his leg. A tingle, a nice one.
"Steady," Genma said, twirling the needle in his fingers as he began to insert it behind Iruka's left knee. "It'll feel intense for a bit. Just ride it out."
"And then what?" Iruka croaked. He licked his lips, his throat was dry. The tingle brought friends, bigger friends, and they were gathering all the swirling stuff into a mass. He could almost track it, moving up his spine, pulsing out to his hands and feet, then contracting again. Moving higher as the needle moved deeper.
Genma grinned, lifting his head so Iruka could see it. "Then it'll get really intense."
"Bastard." Iruka shifted on the bed, his skin felt itchy and too tight. The needle was still moving, slowly, and each micron of it felt different. "Genmaaa..."
"Impatient little uppity sensei with no sense," Genma murmured back. He sounded indulgent, even fond. That had to be Iruka's mind fuzzing up again. "I was going slow so I wouldn't fry your little virgin brain."
"Bullshit. You were going slow to torture me." Delicious torture, torture that made the soles of Iruka's feet sensitive to air.
"Did anyone ever tell you you have a dirty mouth when you're turned on?"
"Not... turned... on..." Iruka panted back, hands clenched. He heard paper ripping, thought it might be his spine. Felt a throb between his legs. Looked at his reflection. Oh. So he was.
"And three. Two. One," Genma said, completing the connection with a satisfied nod. Sat back, arms folded, watching Iruka in the mirror.
"And what ohhhhhhhhhhh---" The moan came from nowhere, just like the spear of WANT that thrust up his spine, into his brain. Jiggled it around, then turned and went back down and into his dick. All. At. Once.
Man was not meant to go from curious and slightly turned on to rock solid could smash bricks hard and desperate to come in three seconds. And if Man was, Iruka'd missed that memo, because he couldn't breathe and was certain he'd be passing out.
And that bastard Genma was just smiling at him, arms folded, like... like... a bastard.
"How do you feel now?" the bastard asked.
Iruka opened his mouth to answer, stared at his reflection when a bleat came out. Fuck. Now he was going to make funny noises, too? He pulled at the wrist restraints, twisted a thumb and ring finger, got one hand out. Slapped it over his mouth.
"Awwww, but that's the best part," Genma laughed, rolling closer to grasp a needle in each hand. "No. I lie. This is the best part."
He began to move the needles, twisting, kneading. Small motions, each one, with large effects.
Gasping when the pressure eased up a bit, Iruka began to feel a bit more like himself. A horny, over-stimulated version of himself, but he could handle that. The hand muffled most of the noise he couldn't choke down. And he had to admit, the feeling was... nothing like his own hand. Not even like someone else's hand, because, yes, he'd managed that, a few times, on his own, thank you very much.
Like a hand inside his dick. Sometimes. Becoming multiple smaller hands. But it was manageable because he knew what it was supposed to feel like. A slow march to something that felt pretty damn good, when he let himself go enough to enjoy it.
"Better?" Genma asked.
Iruka wanted to slap him for the smug tone, but now that he was here, he really was curious to see if he would really... well, was it actually possible to come without any direct stimulation? "Yes," he hissed, embarrassed as hell because he was moving his hips, as if he could encourage the, whatever it was, to keep going. Like that, more there.
"Hey, Iruka. You ever have someone suck you off?" Genma asked.
"No," Iruka admitted, but he'd heard, oh gods, he'd heard it was amazing. "Knees only, Genma."
"All I need," the man said, and Iruka heard the Grin. The Smug.
Then the feeling changed and Iruka curled up on the table, because he'd never felt anything like that before. Suction, definitely, the same pattern of up and down, but with flurries of something else. "Fuck," he breathed, falling back down. "Good."
And maybe he could come from this. It sure felt like he might.
His brain niggled and he glared at Genma in the mirror. Freed his other hand. Formed a seal. "Kai!"
"Kai yourself. Come on, we both know you suck worse than I do at genjutsu. And that's pretty damn sucky." Technically not true. Yes, Genma was better at casting a genjutsu, but Iruka, somehow, was better at detecting them.
He slowed the needles down. "Satisfied this isn't some trick?"
"No, but it isn't an illusion." Iruka looked up, frowning. "Are we done?"
Genma made a show of looking directly at Iruka's dick. "Um, no. I don't see any jizz. So, no. Not done. Just wanted to mix it up a little."
"Hurry? My balls are starting to ache." A testament to how much sex changed a person, Iruka decided, because he didn't feel the slightest bit of embarrassment in admitting that.
He did feel embarrassed when he forgot to stifle a yelp. "The fuck?" he growled, because it felt like something was inside him. His rectum, specifically. "How?"
"Each meridian connects to a specific area. Like capillaries. Hmmm... how about a gentle nudge to your prostate?"
Iruka jerked, eyes widening. So that's what it felt like. It wasn't, he could say with certainty, good. Tolerable, at best.
"Okay, gonna wrap it up. Five minutes."
"Right," Iruka agreed. Time to see if Genma could do what he said he could.
Three minutes later, he was writhing. Panting. Moaning, both hands over his mouth. Biting down on his palm because he'd bite through his lip if he didn't. He couldn't stop his hips from moving, was pretty sure he was begging Genma for something, but he couldn't hear much, and what he could sounded like gibberish.
Then it was the spear all over again, and Iruka slammed his hands against the table, gripping hard because he might fly off it he didn't. He could hear his voice, grunting, gasping for air when he remembered he needed it. Curses rolling off his tongue like he used the words daily, instead of barely thought them.
Caught Genma's eye in the mirror a second before his sight left and he twisted, shuddering as he came. Came hard, harder than he ever did by his own hand.
And it was almost over, he was coming down, when Genma moved the needles again and he was catapulted back into the fray. He felt his balls pull up higher and tighter, and his head hit the back of table with enough force to shake the entire thing. Felt, not a spurt, more like an ooze, but it was there. "Fuck, Genma, no, gods, ngghhhhhhh..."
He shut his eyes, still wound up tight, afraid Genma would start it again. Almost wishing he would because, damn. "FuckingGenmagonnakickyourasscocksuckerwererighthappynow?" Proud because there were words in there.
"Now, now, don't piss off the man with needles."
Iruka nodded. Good plan. He tried to move, whimpered. Let himself sprawl, as well as he could in stirrups. Opened his eyes when he felt a hand on his forehead. "You win," he whispered, throat scratchy. "Was that sex?"
Genma grinned back, but shook his head. "Nope. If it were sex, my dick'd be down your throat, with you showing me your eternal gratitude."
"Selfish bastard," Iruka mumbled. Tried twice to get a hand up to smack Genma. Gave up and yawned instead.
"Lightweight. Don't you want to go again?"
"Twice more should be sufficient," a voice said from the doorway.
*****
Iruka died a little inside, he could feel it, something curling up into a ball. Heroic effort got his eyes covered by his hands because no way was he facing her. Not right now.
"Genma. Explain," Tsunade demanded as she entered the room. Patted Iruka's arm, then moved to inspect Genma's work.
A quick explanation, Iruka thought, but she kept asking questions. Why didn't she yell? Or break something? And he really, really, wanted to drift off and sleep, but he knew she'd be over to torment him soon enough.
"It's, um, really, just once is enough," Genma stuttered. "Just a bet between friends."
"So I heard," Tsunade said. "Kotetsu had a change of heart, came to me convinced you were going to maim Iruka somehow. I expect this room to be spotless when you're done."
"Yes, Godaime. We'll take care of it."
Iruka nodded, peeking through his hands.
"No, you'll take care of it. Iruka will be in no shape to help after you've finished your trials. Twice more. Let him rest about thirty minutes between each test. Want to make sure the first time wasn't a fluke."
She stared down at Iruka over the sheet. "I will expect a full report on my desk Monday morning."
"Yes, Godaime," Iruka rasped. His tongue felt too large for his mouth. Gaped when the woman pulled a cup from a cabinet and filled it with water from the sink. Walked closer and handed it to him. "Thank you." He drank it all in three gulps and handed the cup back.
"Drink two of those. I'll leave some electrolyte powder at the nurses' station for you." Tsunade set the cup on a counter, then walked back to continue pelting Genma with questions.
All Iruka could see in the mirror was the mess on his stomach. And that dying thing inside him curled up more, because his boss, his hokage, was standing there, with him in stirrups and naked, and... And she was asking Genma more questions.
"How do you take them out?"
Genma started to explain, and Iruka blanked it out. Probably dozed off, he didn't remember. Not until someone shook him awake and he glared as well as sex-drained bleary eyes could glare.
"Cranky. Good to know," Tsunade said with a grin. "Take it easy tomorrow. You'll have some swelling, quite a lot of bruising. Use ice packs. No aspirin, it'll make it worse." She kept grinning and it was making Iruka nervous.
"Also, I expect you'll be experiencing some residual effects. Let me know if they become too bothersome."
Iruka nodded. Licked his lips. "Yes, Godaime." His voice sounded more like himself.
"As you were, then. Genma, I mean it about the room."
Genma exhaled slowly as she left. “Fuck. I want to say that wasn't too bad, but...”
Iruka nodded. “But it's not over yet. It's just starting.”
*****
Tsunade shut the door with a definitive click. Waited a second, then started walking, heels clicking on the tile floor. First, to find Shizune and chew her out for teaching someone like Genma something like that. And then failing to teach it completely.
Oh, she was sure the woman hadn't meant to teach anything. It was probably some discussion that went on and on and never really wrapped up.
Second, to find a mission for Genma. Something annoying. If he had time to get up to this on one of his few off days, well, the man obviously didn't need time off. And the village needed the money.
Finally, to make a notation in Iruka's file. And alert the medical staff. If he came in for anything, even a sniffle, he'd be referred directly to her. Three months should do it.
*****
"So?" Kotetsu asked as soon as Iruka walked into the Mission Room on Monday afternoon.
Iruka shook his head. He was blushing, yes, but he could chalk most of it up to handing in a humiliatingly thorough report early that morning. The limping was embarrassing as well. Good thing he wore pants because the bruises - it looked like he'd been kicked. Repeatedly.
And not just on his knees.
"Ah. I knew he was full of it. Lying liar. Godaime has him doing a courier mission. Rice country. In the rainy season." Kotetsu grinned, shrugged. Picked up a stack of files. "See you around. Glad you came out of it okay."
"Yeah," Iruka murmured. "See you." He hated lying to his friend, but he and Genma had talked, later. Much later, after the man spent the entire night at Iruka's place, trying to ease the bruising, dealing with the shakes that had surprised them both. And they agreed this thing, maybe Genma shouldn't do it again. Because it was dangerous.
And because Shizune threatened Genma's life if he ever tried it again.
Title: Improper Use of Needles
Fandom: Naruto
Characters: Iruka, Genma, Kotetsu, and shhh, it's a surprise...
Genre: Kinda crack
Rating: R-ish, maybe a little higher
Warnings: Language, perverted use of medical equipment
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto does, along with whatever other people/entities are along for the ride.
Summary: Genma says he can do something with his senbon. Kotetsu says no way. Iruka gets caught in the middle. Again. (basically gratuitous Iruka-abuse)
"Nope. Not possible."
Genma smiled, waggled the senbon. Then his eyebrows.
"No," Kotetsu repeated. Emphatically. More emphatically, because he was always emphatic, in a whiny, lazy sorta way. "Not. Possible."
"What do you think, Iruka?" Genma asked, turning his attention to the other man in the file room.
Iruka looked up, pen in mouth as he tried to shove three scrolls back into a cubby. This wasn't how he wanted to spend a Sunday afternoon, searching for a misfiled scroll. Sure, it was raining, it wasn't like he could be doing laundry. But he could be grading. Or reading. Or napping, even. "Mnnn?"
He'd been listening, but also hoping he wouldn't be drawn into this particular conversation.
"NOT. POSSIBLE."
Setting the pen aside, Iruka looked from one man to the other. "Ah. I know acupuncture is an established medical practice, but I have to side with Kotetsu on this one. Stimulating, um, sexual response is one thing. Stimulating to the point, of, um, completion, ah, is something completely different."
Kotetsu grinned, nodded. "See? Even Iruka doesn't believe you, and he's the most gullible, I mean, um... owwww!" He glared at his coworker, rubbing a spot on his cheek. "That's gonna leave a mark!"
Genma ignored the outburst. If Kotetsu hadn't learned to avoid annoying Iruka when there were writing tools in the room, well, what was the old saying? You can't fix stupid. "I can prove it. Just need a volunteer."
"Yeah, like anyone is going to let you shove needles in their skin on purpose."
Iruka bent his head back to his work, nodding in absent agreement. "Genma, you kill people with those things." He tried hard not to think about the proposed effect. A shinobi was supposed to channel sexual energy into more worthy pursuits. A lesson Genma seemed to have missed.
"Bock bock bock... bock bock bock." Genma pawed the ground with a foot, pretend-pecked at the wall.
"Laugh it up, chicken boy," Kotetsu snarled. "I'm telling you're full of shit, you're lying, and we all know it." But he was clenching his fists.
This was going to get ugly. Kotetsu never could let a taunt go, and Genma was willing to escalate. "What are the chances of you two actually working?" Iruka asked, mostly to himself. Slim to none. Honestly, his students were better behaved.
The air pressure in the room changed. Iruka felt a cold breeze in the windowless room, he was sure of it, just across the back of his neck. He looked up to find Kotetsu and Genma smiling. At each other. Oh, fudge. This was bad. "What?"
"How much is it worth to you to find this scroll?" Kotetsu asked, picking at his vest.
"Not enough to have needles shoved into my knees," Iruka answered at once. Oh, he knew where this was going.
Too bad for him, Genma was a step ahead. "How much is it worth to you to find this scroll without destroying the file room in the process?" He picked up a file from one cubby, tossed it into another.
"Hey! We already checked that one!" Iruka yelled, then stalled when Genma waved the scroll in his face.
Another taunt. Tick tock. Agree to their terms, or give up all of his free time rechecking the bins.
“Deal?” Genma asked, smiling wider, and Iruka knew the man could see the resignation on his face.
"You really are the best choice, after all," Kotetsu explained. "I'm sure you don't want an audience, and I can trust your report. Plus your, well, let's just say you don't have enough prior experience to influence -- FUCK! Will you quit doing that?!?"
"Hnn. That was my last pen," Iruka muttered, looking around the work space for something else to throw. Too pissed to worry he was blushing to the tips of his ears. He had only himself to blame, telling Kotetsu something like that.
"Deal?" Genma repeated, holding his pen out as an offering.
Iruka growled as he snatched the pen. Contemplated shoving it in Genma's eyeball for a split second, then dropped it on the table. "Fine. Find the scroll without messing up anything. You have thirty minutes."
Kotetsu opened his mouth, but Genma shook his head. Eyed the pen meaningfully. "We'll do it in fifteen."
"Deal." Iruka stomped out of the room and slammed the door behind him. Sagged against it. What was he thinking? He'd just agreed to let Genma stick needles, senbon, no less, in his knees. He could end up crippled. Or worse! And why? To...
Well, he wasn't sure exactly why. Granted he was curious. But not that curious. And he did have some other work. And Kotetsu never would back down, not from anything, and Iruka hated to see his friend needled like that. And...
Grinning at his unintentional mental pun, Iruka heard said friend through the door. "Still say it's not possible. And if you fuck up and hurt him in any way, I'm telling Godaime and she'll shove senbon up your ass. And I'll sell tickets."
Iruka chuckled, pushed off the door. "Time starts now!" he called over his shoulder. Okay, fine. Sometimes friends did weird things for friends.
Really, really weird.
*****
The next week went down as the third longest in Iruka's life. Okay, not on the level of the Kyuubi attack, or Team Seven's chuunin exam. Second tier long.
Like a condemned man, forced to live life normally. Knowing the end was near. Because Genma admitted he hadn't actually tried this before, and there could be some side effects that would make movement difficult the next day.
So Iruka lived his week as if it were his last. Which meant he did exactly what he normally did.
Saturday evening found him not out with friends, or at the baths. Or even grading. No, Saturday evening, he was lying on a table in a birthing room, staring at a mirror on the ceiling. Two of them, angled so he could see Genma, and Genma could see him, but there was a sheet between them.
But Iruka could still see he was naked from the waist down. And his calves were strapped into stirrups Genma called candy canes. There was nothing sweet about them. "Why do they have mirrors on the ceiling?" he groused. "You'd think the way women complain about childbirth, they wouldn't have time to be primping."
Genma snorted, looked up to catch Iruka's eyes. "That may be the most sexist thing I've ever heard you say. Who knew Iruka-sensei was a closet pig?"
"It's no wonder it hurts, these things are uncomfortable to begin with." Iruka pulled at the stirrups, gave up. Pulled at the wrist restraints. "You know I can get out of these, right?"
"Fuck, I hope so. A genin should be able to get out of those. But try to keep them on? If you jerk at the wrong time, I might make a mistake."
"Your bedside manner blows."
Genma laughed, pulled on gloves with a snap, then picked up a needle and twirled it in his fingers. "And you're so cute when you're grumpy." He sat back on the rolling stool, considering for a moment. "And not half bad, half-naked."
"No touching anything but knees," Iruka growled. Closed his eyes for a moment. No, not seeing was worse.
As much as he growled, though, Iruka appreciated the clinical environment. And Genma, as much as he teased, was being surprisingly professional about the entire thing. Not that Iruka thought he had a snowball's chance in Suna of getting aroused, not like this. And forget coming. He could hear Kotetsu's voice in his head. Not possible.
"What're you grinning about?" Genma asked. "I'm about to shove senbon into the back of your knees and give you pleasure like you've never experienced."
"Just do it already." Iruka closed his eyes again, then dragged them open. No. Definitely better to watch.
"Mmmmm, bossy. What're you gonna do --"
Iruka curled up so he could see Genma's head over the sheet. "If you say 'punish me', I'm getting off this table and kicking your ass."
Genma blinked. The grin wavered, then widened. All teeth. "You actually think you could," he said with a shake of his head. "And Kotetsu trusts you? I don't know who's more delusional."
"Fine. I'll get off this table and attempt to kick your ass." Iruka lay back down, stared up at the ceiling. "Why're we even using this sheet?"
"For your privacy. Hospital doors don't lock from the inside," Genma said, holding a tip of the needle to a flame.
"But all they have to do is look up!"
Genma smiled, winked. "What's worse? Seeing you naked and throbbing, or seeing the reflection of you naked and throbbing?" He felt the tip with gloved fingers, then doused it with antiseptic. "I could take it down. I'd much rather see your face directly when you're writhing and begging me to let you come."
"Who's delusional now?" Iruka asked, head against the paper sheet. Dammit, why did he keep closing his eyes?
"Nnnn. Okay, I'm ready. You'll feel a prick, then pressure." Genma put his hand on the top of Iruka's right knee. "You might feel strange at first, until I get the second one in. Take short breaths if you start feeling dizzy. Whoohh whoohh whoohh. Like that."
Iruka snarled under his breath. He didn't need labor and delivery breathing exercises for this. Took a few deep breaths, to calm his heartbeat. Flexed his feet. Then his hands.
"Stop wiggling," Genma said, his voice distant. "Concentrating here."
"Hate you," Iruka murmured. Almost closed his eyes again, then remembered. It was worse.
So he watched. The needle going in - he felt a prick. Surprised because it didn't hurt, not really. Not like he expected a needle that size to feel. Watched it going into his knee, as much as he could see of it. Going in much further than he was comfortable seeing, but even that didn't hurt. It felt weird. Weird, because he couldn't feel the needle anymore. Or he could feel it, but it felt like it was... bending. Was that possible?
Genma looked up. "Surprised you're watching," he said, then picked up the next needle to repeat the process. "How does it feel?"
"Weird," Iruka murmured. He could feel something swirling inside of him. Not his chakra, that was steady. Something underneath the chakra. Okay, maybe it was his chakra, but not the stuff he usually used. This felt... He squinted, not really seeing Genma. This felt basic. Primal.
"Yeah. I'm opening up smaller meridians, so all of your root qi is moving around. Your chakra exists as an overlay, it's practically a different system after so many years of training."
Iruka nodded, then nodded again, watching the posters on the wall sparkle. Giggled. This was like being drunk. Maybe like being drugged. Like floating in the river. Relaxing. Strange. But it wasn't arousing, not even a little bit.
And he was starting to feel the tiniest bit queasy.
"Breathe, Iruka," Genma said, frowning at the sudden greying of Iruka's face. Damn, that'd been fast. "I can't work any faster. Fuck's sake, man, don't you masturbate?" It was the only explanation he could come up with on the fly. Excess root qi.
"Shinobi rules," Iruka mumbled, holding onto his own words as he breathed around them. "Desire is a weakness that can be exploited. Pursuit of sensuality is detrimental to a ninja's training."
"Idiot," Genma sniffed. Held Iruka's other leg steady and placed the needle against skin. "Surprised you don't choke on your own hypocrisy." He scratched the skin, experimentally, seeking the best placement.
Iruka flinched, mouth falling open. "Ahhh..." He felt that, a prick on his skin, but the feeling seemed to travel up his leg. A tingle, a nice one.
"Steady," Genma said, twirling the needle in his fingers as he began to insert it behind Iruka's left knee. "It'll feel intense for a bit. Just ride it out."
"And then what?" Iruka croaked. He licked his lips, his throat was dry. The tingle brought friends, bigger friends, and they were gathering all the swirling stuff into a mass. He could almost track it, moving up his spine, pulsing out to his hands and feet, then contracting again. Moving higher as the needle moved deeper.
Genma grinned, lifting his head so Iruka could see it. "Then it'll get really intense."
"Bastard." Iruka shifted on the bed, his skin felt itchy and too tight. The needle was still moving, slowly, and each micron of it felt different. "Genmaaa..."
"Impatient little uppity sensei with no sense," Genma murmured back. He sounded indulgent, even fond. That had to be Iruka's mind fuzzing up again. "I was going slow so I wouldn't fry your little virgin brain."
"Bullshit. You were going slow to torture me." Delicious torture, torture that made the soles of Iruka's feet sensitive to air.
"Did anyone ever tell you you have a dirty mouth when you're turned on?"
"Not... turned... on..." Iruka panted back, hands clenched. He heard paper ripping, thought it might be his spine. Felt a throb between his legs. Looked at his reflection. Oh. So he was.
"And three. Two. One," Genma said, completing the connection with a satisfied nod. Sat back, arms folded, watching Iruka in the mirror.
"And what ohhhhhhhhhhh---" The moan came from nowhere, just like the spear of WANT that thrust up his spine, into his brain. Jiggled it around, then turned and went back down and into his dick. All. At. Once.
Man was not meant to go from curious and slightly turned on to rock solid could smash bricks hard and desperate to come in three seconds. And if Man was, Iruka'd missed that memo, because he couldn't breathe and was certain he'd be passing out.
And that bastard Genma was just smiling at him, arms folded, like... like... a bastard.
"How do you feel now?" the bastard asked.
Iruka opened his mouth to answer, stared at his reflection when a bleat came out. Fuck. Now he was going to make funny noises, too? He pulled at the wrist restraints, twisted a thumb and ring finger, got one hand out. Slapped it over his mouth.
"Awwww, but that's the best part," Genma laughed, rolling closer to grasp a needle in each hand. "No. I lie. This is the best part."
He began to move the needles, twisting, kneading. Small motions, each one, with large effects.
Gasping when the pressure eased up a bit, Iruka began to feel a bit more like himself. A horny, over-stimulated version of himself, but he could handle that. The hand muffled most of the noise he couldn't choke down. And he had to admit, the feeling was... nothing like his own hand. Not even like someone else's hand, because, yes, he'd managed that, a few times, on his own, thank you very much.
Like a hand inside his dick. Sometimes. Becoming multiple smaller hands. But it was manageable because he knew what it was supposed to feel like. A slow march to something that felt pretty damn good, when he let himself go enough to enjoy it.
"Better?" Genma asked.
Iruka wanted to slap him for the smug tone, but now that he was here, he really was curious to see if he would really... well, was it actually possible to come without any direct stimulation? "Yes," he hissed, embarrassed as hell because he was moving his hips, as if he could encourage the, whatever it was, to keep going. Like that, more there.
"Hey, Iruka. You ever have someone suck you off?" Genma asked.
"No," Iruka admitted, but he'd heard, oh gods, he'd heard it was amazing. "Knees only, Genma."
"All I need," the man said, and Iruka heard the Grin. The Smug.
Then the feeling changed and Iruka curled up on the table, because he'd never felt anything like that before. Suction, definitely, the same pattern of up and down, but with flurries of something else. "Fuck," he breathed, falling back down. "Good."
And maybe he could come from this. It sure felt like he might.
His brain niggled and he glared at Genma in the mirror. Freed his other hand. Formed a seal. "Kai!"
"Kai yourself. Come on, we both know you suck worse than I do at genjutsu. And that's pretty damn sucky." Technically not true. Yes, Genma was better at casting a genjutsu, but Iruka, somehow, was better at detecting them.
He slowed the needles down. "Satisfied this isn't some trick?"
"No, but it isn't an illusion." Iruka looked up, frowning. "Are we done?"
Genma made a show of looking directly at Iruka's dick. "Um, no. I don't see any jizz. So, no. Not done. Just wanted to mix it up a little."
"Hurry? My balls are starting to ache." A testament to how much sex changed a person, Iruka decided, because he didn't feel the slightest bit of embarrassment in admitting that.
He did feel embarrassed when he forgot to stifle a yelp. "The fuck?" he growled, because it felt like something was inside him. His rectum, specifically. "How?"
"Each meridian connects to a specific area. Like capillaries. Hmmm... how about a gentle nudge to your prostate?"
Iruka jerked, eyes widening. So that's what it felt like. It wasn't, he could say with certainty, good. Tolerable, at best.
"Okay, gonna wrap it up. Five minutes."
"Right," Iruka agreed. Time to see if Genma could do what he said he could.
Three minutes later, he was writhing. Panting. Moaning, both hands over his mouth. Biting down on his palm because he'd bite through his lip if he didn't. He couldn't stop his hips from moving, was pretty sure he was begging Genma for something, but he couldn't hear much, and what he could sounded like gibberish.
Then it was the spear all over again, and Iruka slammed his hands against the table, gripping hard because he might fly off it he didn't. He could hear his voice, grunting, gasping for air when he remembered he needed it. Curses rolling off his tongue like he used the words daily, instead of barely thought them.
Caught Genma's eye in the mirror a second before his sight left and he twisted, shuddering as he came. Came hard, harder than he ever did by his own hand.
And it was almost over, he was coming down, when Genma moved the needles again and he was catapulted back into the fray. He felt his balls pull up higher and tighter, and his head hit the back of table with enough force to shake the entire thing. Felt, not a spurt, more like an ooze, but it was there. "Fuck, Genma, no, gods, ngghhhhhhh..."
He shut his eyes, still wound up tight, afraid Genma would start it again. Almost wishing he would because, damn. "FuckingGenmagonnakickyourasscocksuckerwererighthappynow?" Proud because there were words in there.
"Now, now, don't piss off the man with needles."
Iruka nodded. Good plan. He tried to move, whimpered. Let himself sprawl, as well as he could in stirrups. Opened his eyes when he felt a hand on his forehead. "You win," he whispered, throat scratchy. "Was that sex?"
Genma grinned back, but shook his head. "Nope. If it were sex, my dick'd be down your throat, with you showing me your eternal gratitude."
"Selfish bastard," Iruka mumbled. Tried twice to get a hand up to smack Genma. Gave up and yawned instead.
"Lightweight. Don't you want to go again?"
"Twice more should be sufficient," a voice said from the doorway.
*****
Iruka died a little inside, he could feel it, something curling up into a ball. Heroic effort got his eyes covered by his hands because no way was he facing her. Not right now.
"Genma. Explain," Tsunade demanded as she entered the room. Patted Iruka's arm, then moved to inspect Genma's work.
A quick explanation, Iruka thought, but she kept asking questions. Why didn't she yell? Or break something? And he really, really, wanted to drift off and sleep, but he knew she'd be over to torment him soon enough.
"It's, um, really, just once is enough," Genma stuttered. "Just a bet between friends."
"So I heard," Tsunade said. "Kotetsu had a change of heart, came to me convinced you were going to maim Iruka somehow. I expect this room to be spotless when you're done."
"Yes, Godaime. We'll take care of it."
Iruka nodded, peeking through his hands.
"No, you'll take care of it. Iruka will be in no shape to help after you've finished your trials. Twice more. Let him rest about thirty minutes between each test. Want to make sure the first time wasn't a fluke."
She stared down at Iruka over the sheet. "I will expect a full report on my desk Monday morning."
"Yes, Godaime," Iruka rasped. His tongue felt too large for his mouth. Gaped when the woman pulled a cup from a cabinet and filled it with water from the sink. Walked closer and handed it to him. "Thank you." He drank it all in three gulps and handed the cup back.
"Drink two of those. I'll leave some electrolyte powder at the nurses' station for you." Tsunade set the cup on a counter, then walked back to continue pelting Genma with questions.
All Iruka could see in the mirror was the mess on his stomach. And that dying thing inside him curled up more, because his boss, his hokage, was standing there, with him in stirrups and naked, and... And she was asking Genma more questions.
"How do you take them out?"
Genma started to explain, and Iruka blanked it out. Probably dozed off, he didn't remember. Not until someone shook him awake and he glared as well as sex-drained bleary eyes could glare.
"Cranky. Good to know," Tsunade said with a grin. "Take it easy tomorrow. You'll have some swelling, quite a lot of bruising. Use ice packs. No aspirin, it'll make it worse." She kept grinning and it was making Iruka nervous.
"Also, I expect you'll be experiencing some residual effects. Let me know if they become too bothersome."
Iruka nodded. Licked his lips. "Yes, Godaime." His voice sounded more like himself.
"As you were, then. Genma, I mean it about the room."
Genma exhaled slowly as she left. “Fuck. I want to say that wasn't too bad, but...”
Iruka nodded. “But it's not over yet. It's just starting.”
*****
Tsunade shut the door with a definitive click. Waited a second, then started walking, heels clicking on the tile floor. First, to find Shizune and chew her out for teaching someone like Genma something like that. And then failing to teach it completely.
Oh, she was sure the woman hadn't meant to teach anything. It was probably some discussion that went on and on and never really wrapped up.
Second, to find a mission for Genma. Something annoying. If he had time to get up to this on one of his few off days, well, the man obviously didn't need time off. And the village needed the money.
Finally, to make a notation in Iruka's file. And alert the medical staff. If he came in for anything, even a sniffle, he'd be referred directly to her. Three months should do it.
*****
"So?" Kotetsu asked as soon as Iruka walked into the Mission Room on Monday afternoon.
Iruka shook his head. He was blushing, yes, but he could chalk most of it up to handing in a humiliatingly thorough report early that morning. The limping was embarrassing as well. Good thing he wore pants because the bruises - it looked like he'd been kicked. Repeatedly.
And not just on his knees.
"Ah. I knew he was full of it. Lying liar. Godaime has him doing a courier mission. Rice country. In the rainy season." Kotetsu grinned, shrugged. Picked up a stack of files. "See you around. Glad you came out of it okay."
"Yeah," Iruka murmured. "See you." He hated lying to his friend, but he and Genma had talked, later. Much later, after the man spent the entire night at Iruka's place, trying to ease the bruising, dealing with the shakes that had surprised them both. And they agreed this thing, maybe Genma shouldn't do it again. Because it was dangerous.
And because Shizune threatened Genma's life if he ever tried it again.