Life Goes On
I've been f***ed royally by majority of my major family members. My mom (didn't expect it from here of all ppl), my sister Evie (she didnt do anything to me per se, but her actions piss me off none the less), my horrible brother Braulio (he is such an ass,and i dont really see him as my brother)... I have been depressed... crying every day when i'm alone. Feeling bad about myself even though i didn't do anything wrong. I'm such a nice person, but lately i've been holding my feelings in to not confrontate with ppl, and thats not being true to who i am. So its time for a change! I've been constantly taken advantage of for being a good person, a person who doesn't like to say no because i'm kind. But i get told no for the simplest favors i ever ask for!!! No more. I am going to stay true to who i am and to my feelings. I am no longer going to put others feelings before my own. I am no longer going to be made a sucker of. Do not take my kindness for weakness....no more.They bought out the ghetto beast inside me... a part of me that i hid for so long because i've grown up...but they gotta see who i am. Thati i'm not taking their shit no more. I am going to get on my grind and study for my GED (i swear to my son i am going to try my best to be the best i can be). Once i do get it, i am going to take this medical billing course thats downtown for free so i can work doing that (i heard they get paid decent)... the program is 3 months and they help you find work. When i get there, i'm going to look back at the haters and say ,"told you so,"... and if they ask me for anything they gonna get a "hell no!" I know i am capable of so much, i've just been so depressed... =( But i'm not doing this for me anymore, because just to do if for me wouldn't be enough motivation. I'm doing this for Elias and Kelvin. To help make life easier for them...for us. I'm going to stop feeling sorry for myself and do something about it! I can't depend on anyone but myself, a job and a life aren't just going to fall into my life. I can't wait to get started...gotta get my boobie into daycare...1 day at a time.....
Amanda, i just wanna say thanks sooo much for being here for me. I know i've been extra naggy and i always vent to you (and i know you have your own shit to deal with)...but i just want you to know i appreciate you so much. Thank god your my sister, because you keep me focused and you clear my head when i need it. You look out for me when you can, and i can't say that about any other of our siblings. Hopefully you get to come with us on vacation, WE BOTH need it! =) Thanks for being awesome since 1983! Lmao. Luv you sis!