(no subject)
I was in Ann Arbor over the weekend, and it turned out to be a much more important weekend for me than I ever imagined it could be. My NRO audition was...well...awful. My tempos were inconsistent, my pitch was all over the place, and my right hand just decided not to participate in the Mendelssohn excerpt which I've played about a thousand times before. I was a bit frustrated, but actually not too disappointed and I didn't beat myself up over it, for the first time ever. I thought to myself "I've played all of these pieces better in other auditions and performances...today was just not my day is all." I'm gaining a backbone and inner confidence, and I'm learning to take every audition situation as an experience to motivate and guide my practice sessions. I really think that being at Illinois was vital to my growing this way. However, I'm pretty disappointed that I wasn't as proactive with summer festivals...looks like I won't be going anywhere exciting this summer. Oh well.
Another important part of the visit was that for the first time since Brian and I broke up, I felt like the break up really was the right decision. With other visits and conversations and everything, I was definitely still in love. I do love him, but now I see that it's only as a friend. I don't know that I'm ready for a relationship again, but I am ready to move on with my life and I won't back away from something if it feels right.
Also, I broke my new year's resolution. I wish I could say I felt guitly about it, but really, I didn't. It relieved so much of my tension and stress, and despite the fact that I'm on my period now, I'm still in a really good mood. I'm impressed that I managed to last a month, but I think my choice to break the resolution was a pretty solid one.
What a great, much-needed weekend. I miss Ann Arbor already and I wish I could bring all the people here.
Quote of the Day:
(a discussion about butt sex)
Alex: Why use the window when you can go through the front door?
Ben: Because sometimes going through the window is more exciting, even if it does get shit on your dick.
Favorite Person:
Scott and Mallory, for giving awesome recitals!
Another important part of the visit was that for the first time since Brian and I broke up, I felt like the break up really was the right decision. With other visits and conversations and everything, I was definitely still in love. I do love him, but now I see that it's only as a friend. I don't know that I'm ready for a relationship again, but I am ready to move on with my life and I won't back away from something if it feels right.
Also, I broke my new year's resolution. I wish I could say I felt guitly about it, but really, I didn't. It relieved so much of my tension and stress, and despite the fact that I'm on my period now, I'm still in a really good mood. I'm impressed that I managed to last a month, but I think my choice to break the resolution was a pretty solid one.
What a great, much-needed weekend. I miss Ann Arbor already and I wish I could bring all the people here.
Quote of the Day:
(a discussion about butt sex)
Alex: Why use the window when you can go through the front door?
Ben: Because sometimes going through the window is more exciting, even if it does get shit on your dick.
Favorite Person:
Scott and Mallory, for giving awesome recitals!