home
so im still in scotland...though i did escape for a while to Italy and Paris which was awesome....I will be off to Rome and Liverpool shortly, but this weekend I am taking a vacation on an island...awesome right?
I cant wait to go home right now though. I just want to go to the beach with a bunch of my friends and share old stories.
I want to sleep in my own bed and pet my puppies. I want to give my Dad a big hug.
I am happy that Harry is coming...my stomach gets all butterflies when I think about it, but I dont know why. Nerves, apprehension, or joy? not really sure. I just dont know.
Then my mom comes. sis isnt. i really hope she isnt fucking up her life too bad right now. I hate to think that i choose my path by the one she doesnt take but i think it has some truth to it.
I wonder sometimes what would have happened if i hadnt gone away to school. how would things be different besides i obviously wouldnt be here right now. would it have been worth it?
regrets are interesting huh? u do something so you dont regret it then u wonder what would be different if you hadnt done it.
no regrets though. not worth it. life goes on. things change. ot worth wondering what was bc u cant go back there. but sometimes i miss what i had.
some days are great and some not so much...today is a not so much...today i feel an ache which i cant explain, a pain i dont understand, and tears which i am tired of fighting.
is this homesickness? i dont know. is this love? I dont know. How can anyone describe these things?
I could just use a hug and someone to tell me it will all be alright...someone who actually knows me...home.
I cant wait to go home right now though. I just want to go to the beach with a bunch of my friends and share old stories.
I want to sleep in my own bed and pet my puppies. I want to give my Dad a big hug.
I am happy that Harry is coming...my stomach gets all butterflies when I think about it, but I dont know why. Nerves, apprehension, or joy? not really sure. I just dont know.
Then my mom comes. sis isnt. i really hope she isnt fucking up her life too bad right now. I hate to think that i choose my path by the one she doesnt take but i think it has some truth to it.
I wonder sometimes what would have happened if i hadnt gone away to school. how would things be different besides i obviously wouldnt be here right now. would it have been worth it?
regrets are interesting huh? u do something so you dont regret it then u wonder what would be different if you hadnt done it.
no regrets though. not worth it. life goes on. things change. ot worth wondering what was bc u cant go back there. but sometimes i miss what i had.
some days are great and some not so much...today is a not so much...today i feel an ache which i cant explain, a pain i dont understand, and tears which i am tired of fighting.
is this homesickness? i dont know. is this love? I dont know. How can anyone describe these things?
I could just use a hug and someone to tell me it will all be alright...someone who actually knows me...home.