(no subject)
I'm not checking if I got into anywhere until tomorrow at 3:00 PM when Stanford posts their decisions online.
I realized today at about 2:02 PM that I had the solution to my problems in my hands. I was busy hating the fact that I find out from Princeton and Harvard first, before Stanford, and then it suddenly hit me -- I don't have to check. I don't have to know. I'll be fine spending the day not knowing, and just waiting to get it all over with in one fell swoop tomorrow. Yes, it's tempting as I sit here with my laptop and my internet -- all I'd have to do is log in to my other e-mail address, probably. But I don't feel the urge to look, and I know that if I do, it won't help things.
And I'd have to go to school tomorrow and talk to people about where I'm going or where I'm not going and I'd really rather not talk to people about that -- or rather, I'd like to be given the ability to choose who I tell about that, rather than having to tell absolutely every person who asks.
Right now, I think I'm going to relax. I'm going to listen to some good music while typing up the bibliography for the TOK project, and then I'm going to re-read and analyze A Thousand Words for Stranger, because Julie never ceases to amaze me. This August is the 10-year anniversary of Stranger's first publication, and when I learned this I realized that I feel proud for her (which is really odd, because she's the published writer and I don't even really know her, but I feel like you're always allowed to have that sort of warm fuzzy feeling inside when things go right for people you like). Ten years ago, she was writing biology textbooks. Now, novels -- something (in my opinion) inestimably better.
I want so many things from this world, but most of all I want them from myself, because I know I'm capable of achieving great things and I intend to live up to my greatness.
I realized today at about 2:02 PM that I had the solution to my problems in my hands. I was busy hating the fact that I find out from Princeton and Harvard first, before Stanford, and then it suddenly hit me -- I don't have to check. I don't have to know. I'll be fine spending the day not knowing, and just waiting to get it all over with in one fell swoop tomorrow. Yes, it's tempting as I sit here with my laptop and my internet -- all I'd have to do is log in to my other e-mail address, probably. But I don't feel the urge to look, and I know that if I do, it won't help things.
And I'd have to go to school tomorrow and talk to people about where I'm going or where I'm not going and I'd really rather not talk to people about that -- or rather, I'd like to be given the ability to choose who I tell about that, rather than having to tell absolutely every person who asks.
Right now, I think I'm going to relax. I'm going to listen to some good music while typing up the bibliography for the TOK project, and then I'm going to re-read and analyze A Thousand Words for Stranger, because Julie never ceases to amaze me. This August is the 10-year anniversary of Stranger's first publication, and when I learned this I realized that I feel proud for her (which is really odd, because she's the published writer and I don't even really know her, but I feel like you're always allowed to have that sort of warm fuzzy feeling inside when things go right for people you like). Ten years ago, she was writing biology textbooks. Now, novels -- something (in my opinion) inestimably better.
I want so many things from this world, but most of all I want them from myself, because I know I'm capable of achieving great things and I intend to live up to my greatness.