GoT Meta: on romantic love and heteronormative schemas. Spoilers up to S3/'A Storm of Swords'.
which argues that slash fanfic is not a resistive rewriting, but an explication of the queer narrative structures inherent in cult television. Almost all media, popular and 'quality' alike, abides by a heteronomative schema that isolates some of us: essentially, the modern Western (small-r) romantic narrative that one man and one woman meet, fall in love and settle down together. She's not saying that all narratives are *about* that structure, just that it is taken for granted almost everywhere EXCEPT science fiction, historical drama and fantasy, which operate according to different narrative logics. This explains why those of us who would loosely define ourselves as queer tend to be drawn to these genres: they are the only ones that do not alienate us in that sense.
It seems to me that Game of Thrones is highly critical of the ideology of romantic love. For one thing, arranged not love marriage is the in Westeros (as was the case in Europe until very recently and is still the case in large parts of the world). The idea of loving one person of the opposite sex over and above commitments to family and community is largely absent (I'll get to Jaime and Cersei in a minute). Cat Stark's advice to Robb on the superiority of arranged marriage turns out to be quite correct - indeed, if Robb had been sensible and gone through with the arranged marriage to one of Frey's daughters, the Red Wedding wouldn't have happened, Arya could have been reunited with her family, and the whole war could have gone a different way. Putting his infatuation with some girl he just met above all the commitments and responsibilties to his family and the kingdom gets him promptly killed, taking his mother and a bunch of other people with him.
Really, there are only 3 couples who could make a claim to love each other, and none of them abide by a heteronormative schema. I'm taking longevity of relationship as a necessary part of the claim to love, which excludes Daenaerys and Drogo - obviously we don't know what would have happened there if he'd lived, but the fact that his death is the catalyst of Daenaerys' empowerment and self-realization is rather anti-heteronormative in itself. What Dany ultimately needs is not Viserys, or Drogo, or even Jorah - it's for the men in her life to die and force her into a position of leadership. She isn't brave - she *becomes* brave. Anyway, that's a tangent. As I read it, the couples who could legitimately claim to love each other in Westeros are Jaime and Cersei Lannister(incestuous, kind of narcissistic), Renly Baratheon and Loras Tyrell (gay, also kind of forced together by circusmtance when they were younger), and Catelyn and Ned Stark (arranged marriage. As Cat explains in no uncertain terms, she did not love Ned when they got married, she didn't even know him. They *grew* to love each other, with effort). All the other couples kind of hate each other. It's pretty amazing that an article written in 2002 has stood up so well in it's application. Or perhaps it's just an indication of how thin and contingent the modern Western ideology of heternormative romance *is*. And yet people behave like it's some kind of divine ordination. I can't tell you how many times I've been told:
When you're older, you'll change your mind about getting married.
When you meet the right person, then you'll want to have children.
NO. I don't *want* to get married and have children. I want to realize *myself*, like Daenaerys Targaryen, who will only ever be the 'Mother of Dragons', and never have children of her own. I used to think I couldn't identify with female characters, but maybe I can....maybe I just can't identify with the romantic schema which is so dominant as to be oppressive.
If Dany ends up falling in love with Jorah Mormont (whom I call Sir Friendzoned) and having his babies, I'll be PISSED.
It seems to me that Game of Thrones is highly critical of the ideology of romantic love. For one thing, arranged not love marriage is the in Westeros (as was the case in Europe until very recently and is still the case in large parts of the world). The idea of loving one person of the opposite sex over and above commitments to family and community is largely absent (I'll get to Jaime and Cersei in a minute). Cat Stark's advice to Robb on the superiority of arranged marriage turns out to be quite correct - indeed, if Robb had been sensible and gone through with the arranged marriage to one of Frey's daughters, the Red Wedding wouldn't have happened, Arya could have been reunited with her family, and the whole war could have gone a different way. Putting his infatuation with some girl he just met above all the commitments and responsibilties to his family and the kingdom gets him promptly killed, taking his mother and a bunch of other people with him.
Really, there are only 3 couples who could make a claim to love each other, and none of them abide by a heteronormative schema. I'm taking longevity of relationship as a necessary part of the claim to love, which excludes Daenaerys and Drogo - obviously we don't know what would have happened there if he'd lived, but the fact that his death is the catalyst of Daenaerys' empowerment and self-realization is rather anti-heteronormative in itself. What Dany ultimately needs is not Viserys, or Drogo, or even Jorah - it's for the men in her life to die and force her into a position of leadership. She isn't brave - she *becomes* brave. Anyway, that's a tangent. As I read it, the couples who could legitimately claim to love each other in Westeros are Jaime and Cersei Lannister(incestuous, kind of narcissistic), Renly Baratheon and Loras Tyrell (gay, also kind of forced together by circusmtance when they were younger), and Catelyn and Ned Stark (arranged marriage. As Cat explains in no uncertain terms, she did not love Ned when they got married, she didn't even know him. They *grew* to love each other, with effort). All the other couples kind of hate each other. It's pretty amazing that an article written in 2002 has stood up so well in it's application. Or perhaps it's just an indication of how thin and contingent the modern Western ideology of heternormative romance *is*. And yet people behave like it's some kind of divine ordination. I can't tell you how many times I've been told:
When you're older, you'll change your mind about getting married.
When you meet the right person, then you'll want to have children.
NO. I don't *want* to get married and have children. I want to realize *myself*, like Daenaerys Targaryen, who will only ever be the 'Mother of Dragons', and never have children of her own. I used to think I couldn't identify with female characters, but maybe I can....maybe I just can't identify with the romantic schema which is so dominant as to be oppressive.
If Dany ends up falling in love with Jorah Mormont (whom I call Sir Friendzoned) and having his babies, I'll be PISSED.