Security
For some reason this is what I miss, not him. I miss having someone to think about when I think about love. I miss knowing someone cares about me and loves me.. and that in a few years Ill be married. Now Im just scared Ill be that stupid cat lady. Im so scared that I sit there and Im trying to ruin it for him, I mean Im not trying to ruin it really. But ... who am I kidding I am arnt I? Why else would I tell Nancy the things she doesnt need to know. I mean there relationship is mirror to ours but who cares.. no one.. no one cares.. I mean.. Im fifteen.. I never meant anything to anyone.. and no one ever meant anything to me did they? Is love even real? I mean... Who stays together. Who actually has there happy ever after. Im going to die alone. I love swifty and I trust her so much but who else.
theres no one online or off. Everyone has betrayed me in some way except her. Maybe thats why I constantly feel the need to not keep a secret.
I keep dissing on Jesse and saying how much of a jerk he was for what he did but was he really? I mean come on Jess... who are you kidding. You are just an immature slut. You could have never been good enough for anyone.. let alone him.
And again back to the security issue... When I think of Jesse at all its me missing him helping me with problems or making me feel better when Im sick.. or telling me Im wrong when I say all this. But he hurt me so bad. Maybe I am an immature slut or whatever... but I didnt desurve that... I dont deserve to have to sit there every day and pretend Im happy. I try so hard to make everyone believe that Im happy, that I make a complete fool of myself just so they know a lie.
I dont know why Im writing this.. I dont know why anyone would ever care enough to read it.. who am I to anyone?
In life Im just another girl. In cyberspace Im just another slut. Im running out of places to run and hide too.. I just need a little security. I just need someone to hold me.
theres no one online or off. Everyone has betrayed me in some way except her. Maybe thats why I constantly feel the need to not keep a secret.
I keep dissing on Jesse and saying how much of a jerk he was for what he did but was he really? I mean come on Jess... who are you kidding. You are just an immature slut. You could have never been good enough for anyone.. let alone him.
And again back to the security issue... When I think of Jesse at all its me missing him helping me with problems or making me feel better when Im sick.. or telling me Im wrong when I say all this. But he hurt me so bad. Maybe I am an immature slut or whatever... but I didnt desurve that... I dont deserve to have to sit there every day and pretend Im happy. I try so hard to make everyone believe that Im happy, that I make a complete fool of myself just so they know a lie.
I dont know why Im writing this.. I dont know why anyone would ever care enough to read it.. who am I to anyone?
In life Im just another girl. In cyberspace Im just another slut. Im running out of places to run and hide too.. I just need a little security. I just need someone to hold me.