Apr 17, 2009 22:57
This is going to be a ridiculous post where I just bitch and moan. I'm 100% PMSing right now - the only time I get this depressed and angry is just about the day before.
I really, really can't fucking stand being sick. Did you hear me, life? I'm done with it. You can stick your germs straight up the ass. I'm exhausted from constantly having to worry, every fucking day, that something is really wrong with me. I'm sick of pain killers. I'm sick of antibiotics. I'm sick of watching symptoms and getting progressively stressed to the point that I start getting paranoid about everything. I'm sick of doctor's appointments. I'm sick of anxiously waiting for doctor's appointments so I can stop being afraid that something is horribly wrong.
Tomorrow is my last day of this probiotic pill I've been having to take since I had the colitis. My symptoms aren't gone - they're getting worse. And they're so fucking vague I can't even guess WHAT they're hinting at this time. I have a doctor's appointment in two weeks, but I don't know if I am going to last that long waiting.
The one thing I'm crossing my fingers for is that I'm lactose-intolerant, and that my stomach has been hating my life every day because of that. Starting today I've gone on a dairy free diet. Nothing has gotten better yet, but it's the first day... right? I really hope this is lactose intolerance. In fact, I will fucking cry in BLISS if this is lactose intolerance. I will never drink milk or eat cheese again if it's only that. I honestly don't know what I am going to do if it's any worse.
Edwin's having a bad night and got a speeding ticket. Kory is over with some beers to cheer him up. I just want to sit in this room and sulk, but that really wouldn't be fair because I'm supposed to be cheering him up. I just need to breathe, and smile, and hope that this mood swing goes away soon before I start cracking.
No comments. This is a solo pity party.