'Under the sea'
So, History and Musicianship are both over. Considering how flat out I've been studying for those two exams I should be feeling happier than I am. Damn these stupid moods of mine. >.<
As it happens, I have been so bored tonight - how I manage to find a million things to distract me when I need to work, and never when I'm allowed to be relaxing, I will never understand. I've decided to post this story I wrote for an English SAC in Year 11, with a little tweaking it's not too bad. I'd like some feedback about the structure though, I still like my idea but I'm not sure if it's a little too disjointed.
Ariel. What's in a name? What's in my name? Ariel. People hear it and think Disney. Mermaid. Bright hair, bright personality, bright fish friends. Bright bright bright. Obsessed with us. Humans. "I bet it's fun, up in the sun" The grass is always greener. Or the sea is bluer. Either one. She's in love with the Prince. Of course it all works out neatly. Fairytales always do. Fairytales always do. So people expect me to lead on. A fairytale, not a life. Life has no happily ever after. There is no such thing. Disney idealises. What we want to see. Not the reality.
No-one knows the real story. The folk tale; the original. I read it by accident. So different. The mermaird had no name. No mention of fiery red hair. Definitely no talking fish. I hadn't realised. She wants to be human. But she pays and pays and pays. She walks on knives. She even dances. It nearly kills her. But her love helps. Her love for him is so strong. He doesn't know. He never finds out. His love is elsewhere. He has a happily ever after. With someone else. She gets nothing. Less than nothing. She simply disappears. Turns into sea foam. He never even knew she existed. Let alone her love. And then she didn't exist at all.
Ariel. Uncommon name. I would say not difficult to pronounce. Apparently so. Ariel! Aerial! I am NOT a TV antenna. Really. Ah-ree-el. Originates from Hebrew. "Lioness of God" Right. That I am not. I mean, lioness. Strong, powerful, leader. I don't feel like any of those. How does my name mean me? Does it even matter? Who knows. Honestly. Would being a Kate or a Jane have changed me? Changed my personality? I wouldn't get the fish jokes. Other than that, would there be anything different? Perhaps. Perhaps not.
It didn't come from the folk tale. My name I mean. She had no name. 'the mermaid'. Notice there's not 'little'. She wasn't. She was strong. Brave. Filled with love. Unrequited love. She had the strength not to kill. To kill him meant to go back. To live. To start over. Her one chance. She couldn't take it. She couldn't kill to make herself happy. Instead, she dissolves. Preserves her love's happiness. At the total cost of her. Her life vanquished. Immeasurable strength. Sacrifice.
There is a statue. Carved in stone. The mermaid. Sitting on a rock, head down, hands clasped. Interesting to note her tail. Legs still underneath. Torn. Caught between her two worlds. Mermaid or human. Does she truly belong to either? Or has she been split in two. Like me. Broken up. Divided between my life, and others' expectations. They expect a fairytale; complete with happy ending. I don't. I just want to be happy most of the time. Big difference. I can't make them happy. Only me. Different to folk tale. May be selfish. I can't sacrifice myself. My own rights, ideas, values. But what else can I do? Give me a better option, I'll take it. There is none. I'm not like either mermaid. I'm just, well, me. Ariel.
I wish I could find my creative piece from Year 12. I have a feeling I shredded it though.
And now I'm off to bed - here's hoping a good night's sleep, good Indonesian food and great company tomorrow will drive this silly bleh mood away.
Rdm
As it happens, I have been so bored tonight - how I manage to find a million things to distract me when I need to work, and never when I'm allowed to be relaxing, I will never understand. I've decided to post this story I wrote for an English SAC in Year 11, with a little tweaking it's not too bad. I'd like some feedback about the structure though, I still like my idea but I'm not sure if it's a little too disjointed.
Ariel. What's in a name? What's in my name? Ariel. People hear it and think Disney. Mermaid. Bright hair, bright personality, bright fish friends. Bright bright bright. Obsessed with us. Humans. "I bet it's fun, up in the sun" The grass is always greener. Or the sea is bluer. Either one. She's in love with the Prince. Of course it all works out neatly. Fairytales always do. Fairytales always do. So people expect me to lead on. A fairytale, not a life. Life has no happily ever after. There is no such thing. Disney idealises. What we want to see. Not the reality.
No-one knows the real story. The folk tale; the original. I read it by accident. So different. The mermaird had no name. No mention of fiery red hair. Definitely no talking fish. I hadn't realised. She wants to be human. But she pays and pays and pays. She walks on knives. She even dances. It nearly kills her. But her love helps. Her love for him is so strong. He doesn't know. He never finds out. His love is elsewhere. He has a happily ever after. With someone else. She gets nothing. Less than nothing. She simply disappears. Turns into sea foam. He never even knew she existed. Let alone her love. And then she didn't exist at all.
Ariel. Uncommon name. I would say not difficult to pronounce. Apparently so. Ariel! Aerial! I am NOT a TV antenna. Really. Ah-ree-el. Originates from Hebrew. "Lioness of God" Right. That I am not. I mean, lioness. Strong, powerful, leader. I don't feel like any of those. How does my name mean me? Does it even matter? Who knows. Honestly. Would being a Kate or a Jane have changed me? Changed my personality? I wouldn't get the fish jokes. Other than that, would there be anything different? Perhaps. Perhaps not.
It didn't come from the folk tale. My name I mean. She had no name. 'the mermaid'. Notice there's not 'little'. She wasn't. She was strong. Brave. Filled with love. Unrequited love. She had the strength not to kill. To kill him meant to go back. To live. To start over. Her one chance. She couldn't take it. She couldn't kill to make herself happy. Instead, she dissolves. Preserves her love's happiness. At the total cost of her. Her life vanquished. Immeasurable strength. Sacrifice.
There is a statue. Carved in stone. The mermaid. Sitting on a rock, head down, hands clasped. Interesting to note her tail. Legs still underneath. Torn. Caught between her two worlds. Mermaid or human. Does she truly belong to either? Or has she been split in two. Like me. Broken up. Divided between my life, and others' expectations. They expect a fairytale; complete with happy ending. I don't. I just want to be happy most of the time. Big difference. I can't make them happy. Only me. Different to folk tale. May be selfish. I can't sacrifice myself. My own rights, ideas, values. But what else can I do? Give me a better option, I'll take it. There is none. I'm not like either mermaid. I'm just, well, me. Ariel.
I wish I could find my creative piece from Year 12. I have a feeling I shredded it though.
And now I'm off to bed - here's hoping a good night's sleep, good Indonesian food and great company tomorrow will drive this silly bleh mood away.
Rdm