Life glimpses
Keep meaning to post, but never enough down time it seems.
Really really cute and sweet moment last night with Evan. We went to Target to get some medicines filled (he has yet another sinus infection) and while we waited we walked around the store 'window shopping'. Now, this is something I try to avoid, especially when he's with me because partly because I don't really want to instill any more acquisitiveness in my child than is necessary and already inherent in his age, and largely because walking around stores is a good way to spend lots of money on stuff you don't need. That sounds kind of like a "duh" thing, but you'd be surprised at how true it is, even if you're not buying what you think of as impulsive stuff. But anyway, it's my main strategy towards thriftiness.
So, we strolled through the toy section, and I was firm but clear that we weren't buying anything, which he was very good natured about, and then we strolled through the seasonal aisle where he went from wanting to be a ghost for Halloween to wanting to be a monster, and then, because he saw the costume, a fireman. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately since I hate plastic costumes and would rather find or make him something a little more aesthetically and tactilely pleasing), the fireman costume was too big. He was very disappointed, but pretty philosophical. He wanted to see the decorations too. As we were kind of winding our way back towards the pharmacy he sighed and said, "So many wonderful things!" He was so wistful and heartfelt that I smiled and asked him if he wanted to get a wonderful thing. He beamed and said he did, and when I asked what, he chose M&Ms. So we got a bag of those little individual serving fun-pack M&Ms.
It's a hard balance to find, between wanting your child to share their desires with you, and wanting to give them everything in the world that they want, and also wanting to teach them the skills of delayed gratification and moderation. One of my clearest childhood memories is of desperately wanting a Rubix cube that was for sale in the gift shop of the Sheraton on the beach in Ocean City - my grandfather and I walked on the beach every morning and he would buy a newspaper there before we turned around and headed back towards our condo. I wanted it so much, but I was ashamed to ask him for it, because with a child's perception, I knew that my grandfather would give me almost anything I wanted if I asked. I do know that someone eventually got me that Rubix cube, but I think I finally asked my father, because I felt that if I came home with a toy from my overly indulgent grandfather, that I would be labeled greedy and spoiled. I was certainly spoiled in terms of the fact that my grandparents indulged me in any way he could, but I certainly wasn't a greedy or unpleasant child because of it, and the memory of that shame makes me sad.
I don't want my child to feel ashamed of his desires, even if they are unreasonable. Being covetous is not, old testament notwithstanding, a sin, and I'm glad I thought to ask him if there was something he wanted, and I'm glad his request was something simple. :) It might not sound like much to anyone else, but it was really a special moment somehow.
Really really cute and sweet moment last night with Evan. We went to Target to get some medicines filled (he has yet another sinus infection) and while we waited we walked around the store 'window shopping'. Now, this is something I try to avoid, especially when he's with me because partly because I don't really want to instill any more acquisitiveness in my child than is necessary and already inherent in his age, and largely because walking around stores is a good way to spend lots of money on stuff you don't need. That sounds kind of like a "duh" thing, but you'd be surprised at how true it is, even if you're not buying what you think of as impulsive stuff. But anyway, it's my main strategy towards thriftiness.
So, we strolled through the toy section, and I was firm but clear that we weren't buying anything, which he was very good natured about, and then we strolled through the seasonal aisle where he went from wanting to be a ghost for Halloween to wanting to be a monster, and then, because he saw the costume, a fireman. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately since I hate plastic costumes and would rather find or make him something a little more aesthetically and tactilely pleasing), the fireman costume was too big. He was very disappointed, but pretty philosophical. He wanted to see the decorations too. As we were kind of winding our way back towards the pharmacy he sighed and said, "So many wonderful things!" He was so wistful and heartfelt that I smiled and asked him if he wanted to get a wonderful thing. He beamed and said he did, and when I asked what, he chose M&Ms. So we got a bag of those little individual serving fun-pack M&Ms.
It's a hard balance to find, between wanting your child to share their desires with you, and wanting to give them everything in the world that they want, and also wanting to teach them the skills of delayed gratification and moderation. One of my clearest childhood memories is of desperately wanting a Rubix cube that was for sale in the gift shop of the Sheraton on the beach in Ocean City - my grandfather and I walked on the beach every morning and he would buy a newspaper there before we turned around and headed back towards our condo. I wanted it so much, but I was ashamed to ask him for it, because with a child's perception, I knew that my grandfather would give me almost anything I wanted if I asked. I do know that someone eventually got me that Rubix cube, but I think I finally asked my father, because I felt that if I came home with a toy from my overly indulgent grandfather, that I would be labeled greedy and spoiled. I was certainly spoiled in terms of the fact that my grandparents indulged me in any way he could, but I certainly wasn't a greedy or unpleasant child because of it, and the memory of that shame makes me sad.
I don't want my child to feel ashamed of his desires, even if they are unreasonable. Being covetous is not, old testament notwithstanding, a sin, and I'm glad I thought to ask him if there was something he wanted, and I'm glad his request was something simple. :) It might not sound like much to anyone else, but it was really a special moment somehow.