(no subject)
It is 1:41, and i have only been out of bed for 40(ish) minutes! Even though nicole called me around 11 and we chatted it up briefly, i never left the bed and quickly fell fast asleep.
speaking of sleep, i had really weird dreams last night. the one was about my family going to some museum/showcase type thing on long island, it was kind of like a reunion for my dad's family and friends. anyway, it was kind of set up like the gughenheim, the twisting circular one w/o stair. each room had a different year that people were born, and people from my dad's side of the family and random friends from his youth would be waiting in the rooms to say hi and reunite. i was with him when he went to go into one of the year that was close to the one he was born in, expecting to see lots of his friends from his childhood. right before we went in he told me that he was excited for this year, in this year several of his friends and 'the girl he will never forget' were born. we went in and there wasn't anybody in the room, it had turned out that they had all died. my dad looked disappointed. then i cried. it was by far, i think, the weirdest dream i can ever remember.
on a totally different topic, i finished my hell day of two 'used-to-be-overlapping' finals! the french one was fine, and although it was worth 18% of my grade I only needed a 68 or something to maintain an A in the class. then i went on to calculus. it was like be raped by something very large, and then having to integrate it. it was not fun, not fun at all. but on the bright side, i am done with calc and math in general. in a way i will kind of miss always having math around to fuck with my head.
yesterday was really cold. randomly yesterday afternoon/night i took a walk around the neighborhood. it was, freezing, but it was actually really nice to just go for a walk sans destination, cell phone, or other people. i realized that on of my favorite parts of winter, is that feeling of defrosting when you come into your warm home from the ridiculously cold outside.
i feel like an actual man recently, i am having such problems identifying my emotions. i can't tell if i am bored, anxious, nervous, excited, depressed, or just overwhelmed anymore. i think the whole weight of the christmas break oakland decision (which i have no control over at this point) is starting to hit me. so that is making me anxious, like woah. i also felt really nervous and crazed over these finals, and now that most of them are done, i don't know what to do with my extra time. i am not used to having time when i am not procrastinating studying. i am way excited to go to go home, and to see the producers and brokeback mountain.
oh, and i am still very obsessed in brokeback mountain. it is up for 7 golden globes. it is also coming out this weekend in philly at the ritz. so i will force you all to see it with me, if i must. i also thinking jake glyllenhaal looks a little like KD lang...
speaking of sleep, i had really weird dreams last night. the one was about my family going to some museum/showcase type thing on long island, it was kind of like a reunion for my dad's family and friends. anyway, it was kind of set up like the gughenheim, the twisting circular one w/o stair. each room had a different year that people were born, and people from my dad's side of the family and random friends from his youth would be waiting in the rooms to say hi and reunite. i was with him when he went to go into one of the year that was close to the one he was born in, expecting to see lots of his friends from his childhood. right before we went in he told me that he was excited for this year, in this year several of his friends and 'the girl he will never forget' were born. we went in and there wasn't anybody in the room, it had turned out that they had all died. my dad looked disappointed. then i cried. it was by far, i think, the weirdest dream i can ever remember.
on a totally different topic, i finished my hell day of two 'used-to-be-overlapping' finals! the french one was fine, and although it was worth 18% of my grade I only needed a 68 or something to maintain an A in the class. then i went on to calculus. it was like be raped by something very large, and then having to integrate it. it was not fun, not fun at all. but on the bright side, i am done with calc and math in general. in a way i will kind of miss always having math around to fuck with my head.
yesterday was really cold. randomly yesterday afternoon/night i took a walk around the neighborhood. it was, freezing, but it was actually really nice to just go for a walk sans destination, cell phone, or other people. i realized that on of my favorite parts of winter, is that feeling of defrosting when you come into your warm home from the ridiculously cold outside.
i feel like an actual man recently, i am having such problems identifying my emotions. i can't tell if i am bored, anxious, nervous, excited, depressed, or just overwhelmed anymore. i think the whole weight of the christmas break oakland decision (which i have no control over at this point) is starting to hit me. so that is making me anxious, like woah. i also felt really nervous and crazed over these finals, and now that most of them are done, i don't know what to do with my extra time. i am not used to having time when i am not procrastinating studying. i am way excited to go to go home, and to see the producers and brokeback mountain.
oh, and i am still very obsessed in brokeback mountain. it is up for 7 golden globes. it is also coming out this weekend in philly at the ritz. so i will force you all to see it with me, if i must. i also thinking jake glyllenhaal looks a little like KD lang...