it seems to me, honestly that you still have some serious issues with trust. its something that makes chris and i so strong-- we aren't jealous, because its a waste of time. If you truly trust someone, there is no foundation for jealousy. GIVEN-- it has happened twice now. But if you rewind through the time before it happened with G, you were worried about him cheating before it had even crossed his mind.
I'm, not sure if there is any real easy solution for it- because if you trust you will get hurt. TRUST is the only foundation for any relationship. If you SERIOUSLY think that they will leave you for someone else, then they probably will. Your instinct, and your intuition is pretty strong. If they cheat once, they will cheat again. Being with any of your ex's isn't what you want, and you know that, but at the same time there's an element of lonliness that you have in you that makes you think "well maybe." Its the same reason why I pushed so hard for Dam and I to get back together, i thought that it was what i wanted.
I hate my job, but I can't see myself leaving it because I don't know what else I would do. Same with being in a real relationship. You can't conceive of one, because you still have never really had one. Every time you care about someone, somehow it happens to bite you. Your lost innocence at such a young age set the precedent for you to NOT trust. But in not trusting, and not letting yourself open up to someone, the end will always end up the same.
The old adage of "I trust you, its everyone else that I don't trust" is complete and total bullshit... because if they're really worth it, they can have Catherine Zeta Jones naked on their bed and say "Oh my god... this is... no. I have to go home because my grilfriend is going to kill me." Doesn't mean he wouldn't look though.
Little relationships are okay- don't deny yourself the opportunity though, to make friends and to trust and to let people in. But the more that you question them, the more cornered people feel. Put yourself in their shoes-- if you got called every day at lunch, and asked who you ate with, and if every time you talked to a friend who happened to be male your boyfriend started freaking out about you leaving them for that person... would you start to feel a little... stifled? WOuld you start to wonder if it would be better for you to look elsewhere?
All kealousy and accusations do is open the door for people to look elsewhere. Give the benefit of the doubt, and let ex's stay ex's. Enjoy the new apartment, invite people over to it. Make coffee. DOn't committ yourself to anything, because it will find you when you're ready for it. If you don't want committment, don't worry about it. Watch some sex in the city and feel better about being single. It will come to you, because you love too much to live alone with forty cats.
Also-- you and Fred would be perfect for each other, and seriously- if you want to meet him I can set it up.
I'm, not sure if there is any real easy solution for it- because if you trust you will get hurt. TRUST is the only foundation for any relationship. If you SERIOUSLY think that they will leave you for someone else, then they probably will. Your instinct, and your intuition is pretty strong. If they cheat once, they will cheat again. Being with any of your ex's isn't what you want, and you know that, but at the same time there's an element of lonliness that you have in you that makes you think "well maybe." Its the same reason why I pushed so hard for Dam and I to get back together, i thought that it was what i wanted.
I hate my job, but I can't see myself leaving it because I don't know what else I would do. Same with being in a real relationship. You can't conceive of one, because you still have never really had one. Every time you care about someone, somehow it happens to bite you. Your lost innocence at such a young age set the precedent for you to NOT trust. But in not trusting, and not letting yourself open up to someone, the end will always end up the same.
The old adage of "I trust you, its everyone else that I don't trust" is complete and total bullshit... because if they're really worth it, they can have Catherine Zeta Jones naked on their bed and say "Oh my god... this is... no. I have to go home because my grilfriend is going to kill me." Doesn't mean he wouldn't look though.
Little relationships are okay- don't deny yourself the opportunity though, to make friends and to trust and to let people in. But the more that you question them, the more cornered people feel. Put yourself in their shoes-- if you got called every day at lunch, and asked who you ate with, and if every time you talked to a friend who happened to be male your boyfriend started freaking out about you leaving them for that person... would you start to feel a little... stifled? WOuld you start to wonder if it would be better for you to look elsewhere?
All kealousy and accusations do is open the door for people to look elsewhere. Give the benefit of the doubt, and let ex's stay ex's. Enjoy the new apartment, invite people over to it. Make coffee. DOn't committ yourself to anything, because it will find you when you're ready for it. If you don't want committment, don't worry about it. Watch some sex in the city and feel better about being single. It will come to you, because you love too much to live alone with forty cats.
Also-- you and Fred would be perfect for each other, and seriously- if you want to meet him I can set it up.
I love you, and please remember that.
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