moving on up!
Well down rather...
tomorrow is moving day, of course it couldn't be easy - noooooooooooooooo - there is a street fair on my street that weekend, which no one thought of until TODAY. SO i have to get all of my stuff there and up before 4 pm so the truck doesn't get trapped on the street for the weekend.
ah well, at least i don't have to be at work :-)
ok - so here's my beef... i have an ex boyfriend, ok i have a lot of ex boyfriends, but the most recent one in particular, i'm having problems letting go.
I really loved him, thought we were going to get married, blah blah - my usual boyfriend angst. it ended, he's in PA school, too selfish, again - blah blah blah. So why can't i let go? he's finally stopped answering the phone, but my god, i don't WANT to talk to him, i don't NEED to talk to him, so why call?
I think my first boyfriend messed me up more than i care to think. I really believe every guy i am with is cheating on me. how could they not be? then i look back months later (now) and realize how dumb i've been, but so much damage has been done that it's too late.
I have NO idea how to have a long relationship. I am great at tiny little ones, meet, have a great time, some good loving, fall in love, it ends - all under a year. 50 year marriages are beyond me, hell - 5 year relationships are a source of wonder. Finding a guy that actually wants to get married and spend his life with one person (me) seems like an impossible dream. I just don't know guys like that - but i do, but then they change, or i don't like them. what is UP with that. it's a cruel cruel world, and i'm about to move into the cruelest city of all. I guess i am gearing up to be the spinster of all of my friends and family. me and 40 cats, sounds ok to me.
enough rambling. moving tomorrow... :-)
(and to be fair, i went on a blind date with a gorgeous guy from TX recently, i just don't WANT to be in a relationship, so most of the bitching is a product of my own created environment.)
tomorrow is moving day, of course it couldn't be easy - noooooooooooooooo - there is a street fair on my street that weekend, which no one thought of until TODAY. SO i have to get all of my stuff there and up before 4 pm so the truck doesn't get trapped on the street for the weekend.
ah well, at least i don't have to be at work :-)
ok - so here's my beef... i have an ex boyfriend, ok i have a lot of ex boyfriends, but the most recent one in particular, i'm having problems letting go.
I really loved him, thought we were going to get married, blah blah - my usual boyfriend angst. it ended, he's in PA school, too selfish, again - blah blah blah. So why can't i let go? he's finally stopped answering the phone, but my god, i don't WANT to talk to him, i don't NEED to talk to him, so why call?
I think my first boyfriend messed me up more than i care to think. I really believe every guy i am with is cheating on me. how could they not be? then i look back months later (now) and realize how dumb i've been, but so much damage has been done that it's too late.
I have NO idea how to have a long relationship. I am great at tiny little ones, meet, have a great time, some good loving, fall in love, it ends - all under a year. 50 year marriages are beyond me, hell - 5 year relationships are a source of wonder. Finding a guy that actually wants to get married and spend his life with one person (me) seems like an impossible dream. I just don't know guys like that - but i do, but then they change, or i don't like them. what is UP with that. it's a cruel cruel world, and i'm about to move into the cruelest city of all. I guess i am gearing up to be the spinster of all of my friends and family. me and 40 cats, sounds ok to me.
enough rambling. moving tomorrow... :-)
(and to be fair, i went on a blind date with a gorgeous guy from TX recently, i just don't WANT to be in a relationship, so most of the bitching is a product of my own created environment.)