Comments | razycrandomgirl: Not Pretty Girl (Fic)

razycrandomgirl

Not Pretty Girl (Fic)

Dec 11, 2007 15:18

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eden/sylar, fic, fanfiction, fanfic, eden, heroes

Comments 20

albion1919 December 14 2007, 21:48:45 UTC

Ohhh teh dark fic is out tonight!

Something in me wants to rub it in his face, but I still want him to be there in the morning.

I loved that line, so simple but hitting.

Damn Gabe, stop with the questions, we all know you've got your secrets...

is it meant to repeat at the end? Ignore this silly question, I can see it now :)

razycrandomgirl December 15 2007, 03:22:20 UTC

Ignore this silly question, I can see it now :)
I was gonna say I was a bit confused.

Thanks for liking it even a little. I wasn't too happy with it so I appreciate you saying so. :)

albion1919 December 15 2007, 18:00:34 UTC

It was because it repeated and I didn't realise at first that the last line wasn't repeated. I was a bit confused lol :)

I really liked it! What didn't you like?

razycrandomgirl December 15 2007, 18:15:21 UTC

for some reason I don't think I got the voice right cause I was all focused on the music. Eden didn't sound like Eden to me. :\ But I'm knit picky. *pout*

I should probably reread it now that I'm not listening to the song.

Thread 13

sinemoras09 December 14 2007, 22:27:52 UTC

OMG SONGFIC FTW \o/ And that's a good song, too!! *bounce*

He looks up at me, trying out those damn puppy eyes again. Fuck him. I can’t even stand to look at him right now. I pick up my bag and toss a warning that I’ll be back for the rest of my stuff when he’s not here.

He’s still staring at me waiting for more. I shake my head, there’s a soft bitter smile and I wonder if he’s doing this on purpose.

Dude, that's so real. I can totally see this happening--when relationships suck and people are just together out of habit...yeah. *nods* I can totally see this.

And I’m trying to protect you, Gabriel! Are you so hell bent on ruining us?

Dammit, Gabriel's such an ass. Don't worry, Eden, you'll survive! He'll sit and mope with his damn watches! lol!

Great job, chica :)

Sweet Icon! razycrandomgirl December 15 2007, 04:34:26 UTC

Thank you! I wasn't too happy about it, but I said 'the more gabden fic the merrier!'

When I read about you and Tammy not liking some of the stuff you write I thought I'd let you guys decide cause I like pretty much everything you guys write.

and thanks for telling me what you liked!

force_oblique December 15 2007, 00:14:08 UTC

Oh angsty!!!
Loved this : I guess that’s my cue. Gabriel Gray’s too good to be with a fucking whore. I may have been a whore Gabriel … I’ll admit I’ve head sex with men who where not you, but none of them ever made me feel …

razycrandomgirl December 15 2007, 04:49:38 UTC

Thank you. Gabriel was very holier than thou, but mostly hurt. He didn't know how to deal with it so he tried to push her away.

Hopefully he'll get to the guts to try to work through it.

Go after her Gabriel!

lacrymosa_star December 17 2007, 16:45:34 UTC

Wow that was dark... I like it! I can't imagine Gabriel saying 'whore', but the idea of it is hot!!!

♥ Loved it!

razycrandomgirl December 17 2007, 16:51:57 UTC

I don't know if he was really hurt and pissed off ... maybe. :X

Plus I got the impression that his mom's a little off her rocker church lady. Which is so cliche. :\ But she's like "You can't go out with that girl gabriel, she's no good for you. She's a whore."

I imaging him saying it and then in his head he's all "Oh shit what did I just do? :X"

Ps. THANK YOU SWEETIE! *hugs*

katers007 February 21 2009, 02:00:10 UTC

Oh my, this was lovely. Lyrical and dark, I enjoyed it immensely. I adore seeing these two played off each other, and you did it wonderfully. I hope it's all right to friend, I'd love to read more from you later.