One year reflectionhere
Funny thing about people, they way they come and go. Touch our lives one moment, gone the next, maybe never really gone though, not as long as we remember them. On Monday it was our one year anniversary, Phillip and mine. On Wednesday he left.
One year ago Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows came out and, right on time, Alyssa got her copy in the mail. So there was my only real companion hunkered down on the couch for a good long read and i was out of company. Not yet having downloaded my bit torrent pirated audio version of the book i was lamely surfing the net when i found a VERY long letter sent to me by some guy on ok Cupid who was my most compatible match, or some such nonsense (and also very attractive). This in response to a much much shorter "hallo" affair i sent a few days previous. (i posted this letter a month later here http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=34870287&blogID=294362531&Mytoken=941CCBC5-91AC-41FA-8E56E8F4CA2B255630807649)
So Alyssa was out and i wanted company; i called the number he provided at the bottom and went over to see him right away. And didn't leave till the morning, at which point we both left... to get food. We have been virtually inseparable since. Yes i had to defend him to people, there was some drama, it hurt a little. It hurt a lot more that he was still totally in love with his ex of six months. His heart seemed closed to me months after i thought it reasonable. His had been broken, so he locked it away and hid the key. And yet he kept coming around day after day and, in spite of myself, i loved him. I have grown, and so has he, and i believe i found that key. These past few days without him, i have had some time to reflect. I have enjoyed myself without him. I am a complete person, i do not need him to complete me.
Lilian, my beloved rat who will be two and a half years old this fall sat with me and i looked at her thinner, frailed, aged figure, and, for the first time in over a year, i did not contemplate the misery which will enfold me when she is gone, i did not obsess over her postmortem arraignments. I just enjoyed her company and she licked me. She is here now and i love her, and when she goes i will love her still, but it will be ok. I do not need her to complete me either. I know because Phillip is gone and i am ok, though i wasn't sure i would be, not for one moment have i felt the sadness due to his absence.
On Saturday Phillip will be back from his camping trip with Dad and we will be better then ever. And, let me be clear, this entry is not for my dear readers. It is for me.
One year ago Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows came out and, right on time, Alyssa got her copy in the mail. So there was my only real companion hunkered down on the couch for a good long read and i was out of company. Not yet having downloaded my bit torrent pirated audio version of the book i was lamely surfing the net when i found a VERY long letter sent to me by some guy on ok Cupid who was my most compatible match, or some such nonsense (and also very attractive). This in response to a much much shorter "hallo" affair i sent a few days previous. (i posted this letter a month later here http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=34870287&blogID=294362531&Mytoken=941CCBC5-91AC-41FA-8E56E8F4CA2B255630807649)
So Alyssa was out and i wanted company; i called the number he provided at the bottom and went over to see him right away. And didn't leave till the morning, at which point we both left... to get food. We have been virtually inseparable since. Yes i had to defend him to people, there was some drama, it hurt a little. It hurt a lot more that he was still totally in love with his ex of six months. His heart seemed closed to me months after i thought it reasonable. His had been broken, so he locked it away and hid the key. And yet he kept coming around day after day and, in spite of myself, i loved him. I have grown, and so has he, and i believe i found that key. These past few days without him, i have had some time to reflect. I have enjoyed myself without him. I am a complete person, i do not need him to complete me.
Lilian, my beloved rat who will be two and a half years old this fall sat with me and i looked at her thinner, frailed, aged figure, and, for the first time in over a year, i did not contemplate the misery which will enfold me when she is gone, i did not obsess over her postmortem arraignments. I just enjoyed her company and she licked me. She is here now and i love her, and when she goes i will love her still, but it will be ok. I do not need her to complete me either. I know because Phillip is gone and i am ok, though i wasn't sure i would be, not for one moment have i felt the sadness due to his absence.
On Saturday Phillip will be back from his camping trip with Dad and we will be better then ever. And, let me be clear, this entry is not for my dear readers. It is for me.