I wrote the MIL regarding the dog...
The following was taken from an email I just sent to my mother-in-law.
"I know you guys were only trying to help me out with Duke, but I really wish you would have discussed it with me first. The dog was signed off into my care and if something would have happened (fighting injury, etc), I would have had to answer to my stepfather's family. They are trusting me, as someone who is on the Board of Directors with a nonprofit dog rescue organization, to properly place their deceased father's dog. Thats a big responsibility and goes far beyond just giving the dog to someone. John had mentioned to me that you felt I was being overly cautious, which you found annoying, but you have to understand that this is what I do. I do not think that standard rescue procedures are too much to handle nor do I think I was wrong in trying to properly introduce the dogs. I can give you over 100 articles, quite a few books and put you in touch with several local trainers that will back me up. John mentioned to me as well that you spoke with your vet about introducing dogs. A vet is an animal doctor with limited training knowledge, just as you wouldn't see a dentist to treat arthritis, a vet cannot offer solid training advice. CPDT (Certified Pet Dog Trainers) and Canine Behaviorists are who you want to seek out when looking for training and behavior advice.
I cannot help but feel that this misunderstanding has put a dent in our relationship. Why couldn't either of you just let me know you were going to do that? You really hurt my feelings by making arrangements without including me and then going on to tell my husband that you felt that I didn't know what I was doing. I feel completely betrayed by people that I trusted. "
I hope that doesn't make me into a jerk, but I've been really bent about this whole situation and I think addressing it is simply my best option. If I get an ignorant response, well then I'll just do what I have to do.
Now *maybe* I can sleep???
"I know you guys were only trying to help me out with Duke, but I really wish you would have discussed it with me first. The dog was signed off into my care and if something would have happened (fighting injury, etc), I would have had to answer to my stepfather's family. They are trusting me, as someone who is on the Board of Directors with a nonprofit dog rescue organization, to properly place their deceased father's dog. Thats a big responsibility and goes far beyond just giving the dog to someone. John had mentioned to me that you felt I was being overly cautious, which you found annoying, but you have to understand that this is what I do. I do not think that standard rescue procedures are too much to handle nor do I think I was wrong in trying to properly introduce the dogs. I can give you over 100 articles, quite a few books and put you in touch with several local trainers that will back me up. John mentioned to me as well that you spoke with your vet about introducing dogs. A vet is an animal doctor with limited training knowledge, just as you wouldn't see a dentist to treat arthritis, a vet cannot offer solid training advice. CPDT (Certified Pet Dog Trainers) and Canine Behaviorists are who you want to seek out when looking for training and behavior advice.
I cannot help but feel that this misunderstanding has put a dent in our relationship. Why couldn't either of you just let me know you were going to do that? You really hurt my feelings by making arrangements without including me and then going on to tell my husband that you felt that I didn't know what I was doing. I feel completely betrayed by people that I trusted. "
I hope that doesn't make me into a jerk, but I've been really bent about this whole situation and I think addressing it is simply my best option. If I get an ignorant response, well then I'll just do what I have to do.
Now *maybe* I can sleep???