Top Ten BP Strategies for Dealing with the Oil Leak
Top Ten BP Strategies for dealing with the Oil Leak
10. Top Hat: didn't work (top hats are SO 100 years ago...)
9. Top Flite: Golf ball clog never tried because self-respecting oil executives NEVER put golf balls in the water
8. Top Kill: may work better as an action movie than an engineering feat
7. Top Gun: Maverick clogs up the leak with the wreckage of Mig after Mig after Mig.
6. Topless dancers for MMS inspectors: just because it's part of the problem doesn't mean it can't be part of the solution.
5. Topical antibiotics: worked well for that other oily discharge down below after that night out with the MMS inspectors
4. Top 40: play Jonas Brothers songs until the oil retreats back into the sea floor to escape
3. Topsy turvy planters for delicate coastal plants so they don't touch the oily water
2. Top story: do little, cheap fixes until the media moves on to the next top story, then walk away-- this strategy worked for the Valdez
1. Top dollar paid to top politicians means we don't have to do anything.