American Holiday Traditions
St Patrick's Day: wear green, get drunk and act like an ass.
Cinco de Mayo: Talk Mexican, get drunk and act like an ass.
Memorial Day: Have a cookout, get drunk and act like an ass.
Fourth of July: Shoot off fireworks, get drunk and act like an ass.
Labor Day: Have a cookout, get drunk and act like an ass.
Halloween: Put on a costume, get drunk and act like an ass.
Thanksgiving: Eat turkey, get drunk and act like an ass.
Christmas: Open presents, get drunk and act like an ass.
New Year's Eve: Get drunk and act like an ass, sober up enough to count backwards from ten (or five), then get drunk and act like an ass.
Martin Luther King Day: Argue about whether this is a real holiday, get drunk and act like an ass.
Valentine's Day: Get drunk, cry, and wonder: "How come nobody wants to be with me?"
Cinco de Mayo: Talk Mexican, get drunk and act like an ass.
Memorial Day: Have a cookout, get drunk and act like an ass.
Fourth of July: Shoot off fireworks, get drunk and act like an ass.
Labor Day: Have a cookout, get drunk and act like an ass.
Halloween: Put on a costume, get drunk and act like an ass.
Thanksgiving: Eat turkey, get drunk and act like an ass.
Christmas: Open presents, get drunk and act like an ass.
New Year's Eve: Get drunk and act like an ass, sober up enough to count backwards from ten (or five), then get drunk and act like an ass.
Martin Luther King Day: Argue about whether this is a real holiday, get drunk and act like an ass.
Valentine's Day: Get drunk, cry, and wonder: "How come nobody wants to be with me?"