Saga of a Star World Part 3
So I was going to watch some Star Trek TOS to prepare for the movie tonight, but after one episode what I realized was that I was craving more old school BSG and so I have a new, shiny commentary on Episode 3. Snarkiness, Adama Shoulder Holds, and horrible, horrible slash goggles ensue.
So we left off on the casino planet with the huge tylium mines.
*And here we are chilling with Adama and Tigh discussing how they have so much food on the planet, because there's no local food source.
Tigh: Some of our people are getting downright obese (I'm imagining 2003!Tigh saying this line and it suddenly becomes hilarious.)
*So apparently there is no connection between the casino and the mine and they are suspecting cylon involvement.
Adama: When Baltar's involved, I suppose I suspect everyone.
*Everyone is all happy, at the casino it's really weird.
*It's official, inside Starbuck's brain there is only another penis.
So here he is, playing at the casino, and making plans to get it on with Cassiopeia later (if you're gonna be a "socialator" (geisha, prostitute, companion) at least don't be a skank. Inara show her how it's done... on second thought, don't. Inara would be way to smart to get involved with this guy.)
And just as she walks away Athena walks up to him and makes this huge fuss about how he once told her that she was the only woman he ever had any real feelings for
Starbuck: I may have said that.
Athena: You may have said that?
Starbuck: What I meant to say is I've had to shut all those feelings out of my mind to avoid any more pain than I've already suffered.
....and she buys it. *HEADWALL*
And here his entire lie falls apart because Cassiopeia has shown up with the key to the royal suite. I wanted a full out cat fight but no... Athena just kind of makes a catty comment, grabs the key and drags Starbuck away.
*And Apollo and Serina have gone to go dancing and they find Yuri in the casino talking about his theory that the cylons attacked because the humans posed a threat, and if they just got rid of their ships and weapons everything would be fine!. He asks Apollo what he thinks
Apollo:...I hope it's the grog.
I kinda actually like him.
*So they're finally discussing why the hell they were at war with the cylons. Apparently the cylons were attacking neighboring civilizations and Our Heroes tried to defend the other civilizations. Yuri has taken his idea to Adama and Adama is like "Bitch please."
*And the council wants the people to vote on giving up all their ships and weapons.
*And they're planning on throwing a celebration in honor of Apollo, Starbuck, and Boomer for getting them through the star cluster or whatever.
*Cassiopeia ends up on the elevator of doom with some other warrior who is hitting on her. And they end up in the basement where it seems like people are being tortured.
*Starbuck is still trying negotiate being an agent for the freakish alien singers who we now hear have both a male and female voice. He also calls it his meal ticket out of the military, and something about that really rubs me the wrong way. Singer alien seems really apprehensive upon seeing one of the bug aliens from earlier and kind of scampers away.
*Starbuck gets cranky when Boomer pulls him aside and tells him they're supposed to get into dress uniform. Apparently the three warriors are being given the highest military honor possible and need to get into dress uniform. Suddenly Starbuck seems okay with being in the military.
*Adama and Tigh need to discuss what they're going to do about crazy psuedo-pacifist guy who I trust about as far as I could throw. How do they speak without being heard? Over headsets sitting in Vipers. O_o Adama has a risky plan. Tigh is so loyal to him.
*When would be the most awful time for a cylon strike? During the ceremony of course.
*The casino planet smells like a trap, feels like a trap, therefore the casino planet must be a trap. Adama's dialogue is most amusing.
*The two of them plot to bring the vipers down to the planet surface a few at a time, but the problem is all the warriors have to be at the ceremony, Yuri's orders. Why the hell does Yuri have so much pull? I ask you this. Big whoop so he's a council person. He has a harem and is annoying.
Anyways, Adama's solution to the problem- sneak the warriors away, and dress up mechanics and kitchen personnel etc in the warrior's uniforms so that Yuri won't know there are pilots that aren't there.
*And now Tigh is sneaking around in the duty locker, stealing people's uniforms when Starbuck and Boomer walk in. Tigh looks scared out of his mind and then snaps at the two of them, covering by shouting that if he ever finds uniforms in such a disgraceful condition again, they'll be in a lot of trouble and then storms out. Yet again, everything he does I think of drunkuncle!Tigh doing and it becomes sooo much funnier. Starbuck and Boomer are completely baffled.
*It's the Adama shoulder grab!
*Adama discusses how he thinks Yuri is going to use the party and the happiness to sway people to vote to destroy their arms, but does not tell him about the plan. Apollo goes off on this speech about how he can't let Yuri get away with this and says things like "You've been more than a father to me." and "My ideals rise and fall on your standards" Apollo wibbles.
*Apollo is the first to notice people in uniform who are not warriors at the ceremony.
*They like making Apollo be all family-like with Serina and Boxey. And for one brief shiny moment Boxey is a perceptive kid who doesn't like the casino planet... or possibly Yuri.... or the party in general. I approve of this.
*WTF with the capes guys? No wonder Starbuck hated the idea of getting in dress uniform.
*Oh look, a bug alien and a cylon. We couldn't have possibly guessed that was going to happen.
*And now Apollo is hotwiring the elevator to go looking for the imposters/looking at the floors humans aren't allowed to go on.
*And Boxey follows the freaky dog robot into the elevator of doom.
*Starbuck and Apollo find the cylons while sneaking around on the lower levels.
*Starbuck has somehow magically figured out that the mining operation is probably supplying fuel for the cylon fleet and says they have to destroy it. He tells Apollo to get everyone off the planet and that he'll stay behind to light the tylium and blow up the mine. Apollo says he can't let him do that because he'll die. He says he left Zak behind and he can't leave Starbuck behind now...
And I think I ship it.
I think I ship it.
I'm gonna go crawl in a corner and SOB hysterically now, because they're running around protecting Boxey from a centurion.
Hee hee... Boxey has two daddies.
DEAR GODS SOMEONE TAKE THESE SLASH GOGGLES OFF!
*So they've found that the bug aliens are thriving on the life forces of people or something like that.
*Boxey, I revoke my previous appreciation for you since you now seem to just take off after your dumb robot dog, whenever and make Starbuck and Apollo chase you.
*And Starbuck rescues Cassiopeia... blah di blah di blah.
*And the cylons are attacking. Adama was right... you know the raiders look like Space Cookies...
*I kind of like the fighting cylons with guns. It's pretty amusing.
*And there we go! The first appearance of "Frak" or I guess they spelled it "frack"...what's the point of that anyway?
*Yuri is trying to convince everyone that peace will beget peace and love will beget love when Apollo comes running in telling everyone to get out because the mines are on fire and will make the planet explode.
Yuri: Stay where you are, I'm in charge here.
Cylons: *come running in with guns*
Yuri: Do what the man says, he's in charge!
*And now there is a lot of running and shooting and some tanks have shown up to take people away to safety, and there's more running and shooting.
*And the robo-dog just bit a cylon and killed it. It looks astoundingly pleased with itself.
*And there are space cookies attacking the Galactica.
*Meanwhile on the ground Apollo is having happy reunions with Serina (and Boxey says "I wish he could be my daddy" *headwall*) and Starbuck is having a happy reunion with Cassiopeia and I could not care less, but the warriors have to get in their vipers and fly off to protect the Galactica.
*Athena looks so confused about how the hell the could have so many people fighting when everyone was supposed to be at the party.
Tigh: Looks to me like a bunch of our boys violated orders and skipped the party.
Adama: Yes, make a note Colonel to discuss discipline in the ranks.
I kind of love that exchange.
*And more fighting and shooting, saying significant things like "This is for Atlantia" and "This is for Zak."
*So even though Adama has asked everyone to come back aboard, Apollo and Starbuck get the brilliant idea to go shoot down the baseship and to do so impersonate squadrons over the comms... wtf... why?
*Starbuck is shit at playing along with the ploy.
*Best exchange EVER. The imperious leader says that all raiders should be recalled to defend the base ship, but a centurion informs him that there are no raiders. In a truly Vizzini-like moment he wonders how that was possible because they took him by surprise.
Centurion: Apparently it was not as big a surprise as we had hoped for.
I <3 talking centurions.
*The cylons finally figure out there are only two vipers, not six squadrons and begin to fire back and Apollo and Starbuck haul ass out of there.
*The planet EXPLODES!!!! And it takes out the baseship with it. And Lorne Green Voice Overs at us about how the Galactica is leading this ragtag fleet to a new home.
*We cut to three baseships now! Baltar is taken before the new Imperious Leader and who says he is going to extend a truce and releases Baltar and gives him a basestar to take over and take back to the fleet to extend the truce. o_O wtf?
*And also sends with him a ....thing... named Lucifer. Oh yes... this bodes well.
Anyways. Officially done with Saga of a Star World, and I guess over the summer it shall be time to watch even more old school.
So we left off on the casino planet with the huge tylium mines.
*And here we are chilling with Adama and Tigh discussing how they have so much food on the planet, because there's no local food source.
Tigh: Some of our people are getting downright obese (I'm imagining 2003!Tigh saying this line and it suddenly becomes hilarious.)
*So apparently there is no connection between the casino and the mine and they are suspecting cylon involvement.
Adama: When Baltar's involved, I suppose I suspect everyone.
*Everyone is all happy, at the casino it's really weird.
*It's official, inside Starbuck's brain there is only another penis.
So here he is, playing at the casino, and making plans to get it on with Cassiopeia later (if you're gonna be a "socialator" (geisha, prostitute, companion) at least don't be a skank. Inara show her how it's done... on second thought, don't. Inara would be way to smart to get involved with this guy.)
And just as she walks away Athena walks up to him and makes this huge fuss about how he once told her that she was the only woman he ever had any real feelings for
Starbuck: I may have said that.
Athena: You may have said that?
Starbuck: What I meant to say is I've had to shut all those feelings out of my mind to avoid any more pain than I've already suffered.
....and she buys it. *HEADWALL*
And here his entire lie falls apart because Cassiopeia has shown up with the key to the royal suite. I wanted a full out cat fight but no... Athena just kind of makes a catty comment, grabs the key and drags Starbuck away.
*And Apollo and Serina have gone to go dancing and they find Yuri in the casino talking about his theory that the cylons attacked because the humans posed a threat, and if they just got rid of their ships and weapons everything would be fine!. He asks Apollo what he thinks
Apollo:...I hope it's the grog.
I kinda actually like him.
*So they're finally discussing why the hell they were at war with the cylons. Apparently the cylons were attacking neighboring civilizations and Our Heroes tried to defend the other civilizations. Yuri has taken his idea to Adama and Adama is like "Bitch please."
*And the council wants the people to vote on giving up all their ships and weapons.
*And they're planning on throwing a celebration in honor of Apollo, Starbuck, and Boomer for getting them through the star cluster or whatever.
*Cassiopeia ends up on the elevator of doom with some other warrior who is hitting on her. And they end up in the basement where it seems like people are being tortured.
*Starbuck is still trying negotiate being an agent for the freakish alien singers who we now hear have both a male and female voice. He also calls it his meal ticket out of the military, and something about that really rubs me the wrong way. Singer alien seems really apprehensive upon seeing one of the bug aliens from earlier and kind of scampers away.
*Starbuck gets cranky when Boomer pulls him aside and tells him they're supposed to get into dress uniform. Apparently the three warriors are being given the highest military honor possible and need to get into dress uniform. Suddenly Starbuck seems okay with being in the military.
*Adama and Tigh need to discuss what they're going to do about crazy psuedo-pacifist guy who I trust about as far as I could throw. How do they speak without being heard? Over headsets sitting in Vipers. O_o Adama has a risky plan. Tigh is so loyal to him.
*When would be the most awful time for a cylon strike? During the ceremony of course.
*The casino planet smells like a trap, feels like a trap, therefore the casino planet must be a trap. Adama's dialogue is most amusing.
*The two of them plot to bring the vipers down to the planet surface a few at a time, but the problem is all the warriors have to be at the ceremony, Yuri's orders. Why the hell does Yuri have so much pull? I ask you this. Big whoop so he's a council person. He has a harem and is annoying.
Anyways, Adama's solution to the problem- sneak the warriors away, and dress up mechanics and kitchen personnel etc in the warrior's uniforms so that Yuri won't know there are pilots that aren't there.
*And now Tigh is sneaking around in the duty locker, stealing people's uniforms when Starbuck and Boomer walk in. Tigh looks scared out of his mind and then snaps at the two of them, covering by shouting that if he ever finds uniforms in such a disgraceful condition again, they'll be in a lot of trouble and then storms out. Yet again, everything he does I think of drunkuncle!Tigh doing and it becomes sooo much funnier. Starbuck and Boomer are completely baffled.
*It's the Adama shoulder grab!
*Adama discusses how he thinks Yuri is going to use the party and the happiness to sway people to vote to destroy their arms, but does not tell him about the plan. Apollo goes off on this speech about how he can't let Yuri get away with this and says things like "You've been more than a father to me." and "My ideals rise and fall on your standards" Apollo wibbles.
*Apollo is the first to notice people in uniform who are not warriors at the ceremony.
*They like making Apollo be all family-like with Serina and Boxey. And for one brief shiny moment Boxey is a perceptive kid who doesn't like the casino planet... or possibly Yuri.... or the party in general. I approve of this.
*WTF with the capes guys? No wonder Starbuck hated the idea of getting in dress uniform.
*Oh look, a bug alien and a cylon. We couldn't have possibly guessed that was going to happen.
*And now Apollo is hotwiring the elevator to go looking for the imposters/looking at the floors humans aren't allowed to go on.
*And Boxey follows the freaky dog robot into the elevator of doom.
*Starbuck and Apollo find the cylons while sneaking around on the lower levels.
*Starbuck has somehow magically figured out that the mining operation is probably supplying fuel for the cylon fleet and says they have to destroy it. He tells Apollo to get everyone off the planet and that he'll stay behind to light the tylium and blow up the mine. Apollo says he can't let him do that because he'll die. He says he left Zak behind and he can't leave Starbuck behind now...
And I think I ship it.
I think I ship it.
I'm gonna go crawl in a corner and SOB hysterically now, because they're running around protecting Boxey from a centurion.
Hee hee... Boxey has two daddies.
DEAR GODS SOMEONE TAKE THESE SLASH GOGGLES OFF!
*So they've found that the bug aliens are thriving on the life forces of people or something like that.
*Boxey, I revoke my previous appreciation for you since you now seem to just take off after your dumb robot dog, whenever and make Starbuck and Apollo chase you.
*And Starbuck rescues Cassiopeia... blah di blah di blah.
*And the cylons are attacking. Adama was right... you know the raiders look like Space Cookies...
*I kind of like the fighting cylons with guns. It's pretty amusing.
*And there we go! The first appearance of "Frak" or I guess they spelled it "frack"...what's the point of that anyway?
*Yuri is trying to convince everyone that peace will beget peace and love will beget love when Apollo comes running in telling everyone to get out because the mines are on fire and will make the planet explode.
Yuri: Stay where you are, I'm in charge here.
Cylons: *come running in with guns*
Yuri: Do what the man says, he's in charge!
*And now there is a lot of running and shooting and some tanks have shown up to take people away to safety, and there's more running and shooting.
*And the robo-dog just bit a cylon and killed it. It looks astoundingly pleased with itself.
*And there are space cookies attacking the Galactica.
*Meanwhile on the ground Apollo is having happy reunions with Serina (and Boxey says "I wish he could be my daddy" *headwall*) and Starbuck is having a happy reunion with Cassiopeia and I could not care less, but the warriors have to get in their vipers and fly off to protect the Galactica.
*Athena looks so confused about how the hell the could have so many people fighting when everyone was supposed to be at the party.
Tigh: Looks to me like a bunch of our boys violated orders and skipped the party.
Adama: Yes, make a note Colonel to discuss discipline in the ranks.
I kind of love that exchange.
*And more fighting and shooting, saying significant things like "This is for Atlantia" and "This is for Zak."
*So even though Adama has asked everyone to come back aboard, Apollo and Starbuck get the brilliant idea to go shoot down the baseship and to do so impersonate squadrons over the comms... wtf... why?
*Starbuck is shit at playing along with the ploy.
*Best exchange EVER. The imperious leader says that all raiders should be recalled to defend the base ship, but a centurion informs him that there are no raiders. In a truly Vizzini-like moment he wonders how that was possible because they took him by surprise.
Centurion: Apparently it was not as big a surprise as we had hoped for.
I <3 talking centurions.
*The cylons finally figure out there are only two vipers, not six squadrons and begin to fire back and Apollo and Starbuck haul ass out of there.
*The planet EXPLODES!!!! And it takes out the baseship with it. And Lorne Green Voice Overs at us about how the Galactica is leading this ragtag fleet to a new home.
*We cut to three baseships now! Baltar is taken before the new Imperious Leader and who says he is going to extend a truce and releases Baltar and gives him a basestar to take over and take back to the fleet to extend the truce. o_O wtf?
*And also sends with him a ....thing... named Lucifer. Oh yes... this bodes well.
Anyways. Officially done with Saga of a Star World, and I guess over the summer it shall be time to watch even more old school.