Slim for sale
Well as most of y'all know I am putting Slim up for sale. I must say that I feel like I am betraying an old friend , but it is time for him to find a new home. I am kinda sentimental towards things that I have poured sweat and blood over. Why am this way? Why do I even want to keep him? He has done nothing but cost me money. He was and is a bad investment. Yet I still am found of him, maybe it is because I know that I could count on him, I had to. He never did anything that did not strengthen our relationship. All I have in found memories of him, he always provided for an adventure. I guess I know how people can get that bite. It is going to be so hard for me to leave this state in a year or so. All the things that I have done, all the people that I have helped, all the equipment that I have worked on, there is a little of me in all of it. I am starting to realize why I have not been active in pursuing my PhD lately, it is not that I do not want to finish, I am afraid to. I am afraid that what I leave behind will need me in someway. That someone may need my advice or that someone will cause harm to something I have fixed or built. That somehow the things will become lonely. God, I hate quitting things, I hate finality. I want to work for DOW, they apparently want me and there is nothing to stop me form being there this time next year. But somehow I am going to have to convince myself that it is good to complete something, or that by working for DOW I am starting a new chapter and that it is ok to close/ complete the previous chapter. I have managed to postpone getting out of school by 4 years, yeah I got some silly piece of paper that says I earned a degree along the way, but I am still in College doing what I started 8 yrs ago. Which started 13 yrs prior to that. I have done most the work, I really have all I have to do is write it up an analyze it something that I can do, but I just don't. I hate writing things in a final format for to do so is to say that they are complete and finished. It is not that I am a bad writer, but if I do not write then there is still something for me to do. There is something that always needs to be done if I do not finish it. I will always be able to return to it and do a little more. Well now I am on the verge of being heart broken...... Well he is for sale, look in the carolina trader for him. I do hope that he finds a deserving home. I hope he does not feel betrayed.
I hope that I can do all I need to do in the next year. I will have a family of my own in less than 16 weeks, I will need to support it both financially, emotionally, and physically. DOW wants me now, but I am not prepared for them yet. I need to write my proposal and my dissertation and use my unsteady legs to finish a lot of things in the next year. I know what I want! but I just do not want to leave this all behind.
Ok enough of this, I will finish it some other day when I have more time. I have surly wasted enough of your time.
I hope that I can do all I need to do in the next year. I will have a family of my own in less than 16 weeks, I will need to support it both financially, emotionally, and physically. DOW wants me now, but I am not prepared for them yet. I need to write my proposal and my dissertation and use my unsteady legs to finish a lot of things in the next year. I know what I want! but I just do not want to leave this all behind.
Ok enough of this, I will finish it some other day when I have more time. I have surly wasted enough of your time.