Borders on insanity
I was browsing Borders last night, and in light of recent conversations I've had with missnickers, I've decided to begin paying more attention to the romance novels. (Or as I like to call them, "porn for girls".) And by the way, at the particular Borders I went to, the romance section is right next to the religious section. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! Now what would Jesus think? That's like putting a whorehouse next door to a church. But anyway, they had a large display set up containing a bunch of new books that have just been published. For fun, I copied down a bunch of the titles, which I'm going to share with you now.
The Italian Millionaire's Virgin Wife (Also known as, "The Male Author's Wish Fulfillment Fantasy".)
A Temporary Arrangement (They must be referring to this book's presense on store shelves.)
Blame It on Texas (I blame MOST things on Texas, actually.)
Mistress Bought and Paid For (You can buy those? I must have missed that section at Target.)
A Nine-to-Five Affair (Damn! Just reading that title makes me tired!)
Outback Baby (I just hope it didn't accidentally end up on the menu. Just to be safe, though, don't order the 7 lb. chicken platter.)
Bought by Her Husband (What's with this trend about women being bought? Is the sex slave trade going mainstream or something?)
If You Could Read My Mind (You'd see how embarrassed I am to be making my living writing this trash.)
Deadly Memories (Paying money to read this is something I would consider a deadly memory.)
Saying Yes to the Boss (That's right, women! Just say yes to sexual harassment in the workplace!)
The Bought and Paid For Wife (Hold on, let's backtrack. First we had "Mistress Bought and Paid For". I guess he married the woman, then lost her somehow and had to buy her back. I guess since after that, she was "Bought by Her Husband", that means she's now "The Bought and Paid For Wife". So I guess it all logically follows.)
Bunking Down with the Boss (MORE sexual harassment stuff? Apparently, women all have a secret desire to sleep with their boss!)
Remember Texas (Ah, yes. We're blaming them for something, right?)
Dakota Meltdown (Next on E! True Hollywood Stories...)
The Devil's Heiress (AKA, the Paris Hilton Story.)
Their Scandalous Affair (What? I'm shocked! These novels NEVER have anything tawdry and sleazy going on in them!)
His Very Personal Assistant (Again with the sexual harassment in the workplace... Maybe I'm getting the wrong idea about these books. Perhaps I should read one- it's possible that these sexual harassment books end with the woman suing the guy for a lot of money, and THAT'S what turns on the women who read these things.)
Three Guys You'll Never Date (Wait a minute... a romance novel founded on the proposition of NOT hooking up? Maybe that's what women want...)
The Italian Millionaire's Virgin Wife (Also known as, "The Male Author's Wish Fulfillment Fantasy".)
A Temporary Arrangement (They must be referring to this book's presense on store shelves.)
Blame It on Texas (I blame MOST things on Texas, actually.)
Mistress Bought and Paid For (You can buy those? I must have missed that section at Target.)
A Nine-to-Five Affair (Damn! Just reading that title makes me tired!)
Outback Baby (I just hope it didn't accidentally end up on the menu. Just to be safe, though, don't order the 7 lb. chicken platter.)
Bought by Her Husband (What's with this trend about women being bought? Is the sex slave trade going mainstream or something?)
If You Could Read My Mind (You'd see how embarrassed I am to be making my living writing this trash.)
Deadly Memories (Paying money to read this is something I would consider a deadly memory.)
Saying Yes to the Boss (That's right, women! Just say yes to sexual harassment in the workplace!)
The Bought and Paid For Wife (Hold on, let's backtrack. First we had "Mistress Bought and Paid For". I guess he married the woman, then lost her somehow and had to buy her back. I guess since after that, she was "Bought by Her Husband", that means she's now "The Bought and Paid For Wife". So I guess it all logically follows.)
Bunking Down with the Boss (MORE sexual harassment stuff? Apparently, women all have a secret desire to sleep with their boss!)
Remember Texas (Ah, yes. We're blaming them for something, right?)
Dakota Meltdown (Next on E! True Hollywood Stories...)
The Devil's Heiress (AKA, the Paris Hilton Story.)
Their Scandalous Affair (What? I'm shocked! These novels NEVER have anything tawdry and sleazy going on in them!)
His Very Personal Assistant (Again with the sexual harassment in the workplace... Maybe I'm getting the wrong idea about these books. Perhaps I should read one- it's possible that these sexual harassment books end with the woman suing the guy for a lot of money, and THAT'S what turns on the women who read these things.)
Three Guys You'll Never Date (Wait a minute... a romance novel founded on the proposition of NOT hooking up? Maybe that's what women want...)