the nothing I know about love
I’m feeling down, or at least I think am. Maybe I’m just feeling down because I think that I should. I let go of the one thing that showed me what a glimpse of pure happiness is. For a split second I saw why people give up everything for a simple feeling. A simple feeling that is not simple at all. For a brief moment I touched the surface of what love is. I’m not saying I was in love but in the fresh and beautiful infatuation part, I did love him.
I miss him even though its only been 2 days. I don’t understand, I didn’t miss him when I had him. I didn’t miss him even though we didn’t see each other for 2 weeks when he was mine.
After all the books I’ve read on love I still tried to control what was uncontrollable, I even tried to lay down rules and limitations. How could I possible grow as a being or in love with limitation?
I definitely set up walls and borders of emotions to protect against pain even though he wore his heart on his sleeve and gave it to me to take care of.
If I wanted stability he was perfect. He was everything I thought I wanted in someone.
I am far from being ready to settle down and commit. I’m young and need room to spread my wings and run into the open air. I need to figure out who I am. I need to be spontaneous and free, at least for now.
I don’t want to be without him but I’ve put him through enough. I feel guilty for making him wait, for what I don’t know.
God has given me everything I ever prayed for, and I mean everything. Sometimes not right away but I ended up experiencing them all. I don’t ask God for anything anymore, I thank him for what I have. It was proving to me time and time again that what I asked for wasn’t what I really want at all.
My mom was my everything and I lost her, my dad meant the world to me and he left, even though we are working on that relationship now I am still hurt. I’m hurt because I love him more then anyone.
I feel like I come into so many people’s lives and become a part of so many worlds but it never lasts. I make best friends and work my way to the top of the social atmosphere and before I know it I’m pulled away, again, to start over.
My one best friend for six years has merely turned into a acquaintance. This breaks my heart but I deserved it.
I don’t understand how to consider others feelings.
I’ve stepped on and abused many strong friendships but at the same time I was the one who would use my status of “captain” to pick the weak students for my team with never any trouble of anyone ever saying anything about it unless they wanted to be embarrassed at their game.
I’ve been told I have a heart of gold but I’ve also been called cold hearted. I know I use to be extremely emotionless and calloused to the world around me. All that use to matter was that I was the best on my sports teams and that I scored the most points. It was a lot of fun but it wasn’t right.
When my mom got sick I realized that it didn’t matter how many goals I scored or how popular I was, all that mattered was the time I spent with her and things I never said. I was a victim of society like everyone else, blinded by what meant absolutely nothing. I let my father leaving affect the way I treated and spoke to my mom . She was my best friend and I loved her like no other but I had my moments like everyone else full of anger and resentment.
Life goes on though and I’m happy and I’m very healthy which I am thankful for. I wish I knew the words to say to make you understand the positive things in your life. Life is what you make it, start with your day.
I miss him even though its only been 2 days. I don’t understand, I didn’t miss him when I had him. I didn’t miss him even though we didn’t see each other for 2 weeks when he was mine.
After all the books I’ve read on love I still tried to control what was uncontrollable, I even tried to lay down rules and limitations. How could I possible grow as a being or in love with limitation?
I definitely set up walls and borders of emotions to protect against pain even though he wore his heart on his sleeve and gave it to me to take care of.
If I wanted stability he was perfect. He was everything I thought I wanted in someone.
I am far from being ready to settle down and commit. I’m young and need room to spread my wings and run into the open air. I need to figure out who I am. I need to be spontaneous and free, at least for now.
I don’t want to be without him but I’ve put him through enough. I feel guilty for making him wait, for what I don’t know.
God has given me everything I ever prayed for, and I mean everything. Sometimes not right away but I ended up experiencing them all. I don’t ask God for anything anymore, I thank him for what I have. It was proving to me time and time again that what I asked for wasn’t what I really want at all.
My mom was my everything and I lost her, my dad meant the world to me and he left, even though we are working on that relationship now I am still hurt. I’m hurt because I love him more then anyone.
I feel like I come into so many people’s lives and become a part of so many worlds but it never lasts. I make best friends and work my way to the top of the social atmosphere and before I know it I’m pulled away, again, to start over.
My one best friend for six years has merely turned into a acquaintance. This breaks my heart but I deserved it.
I don’t understand how to consider others feelings.
I’ve stepped on and abused many strong friendships but at the same time I was the one who would use my status of “captain” to pick the weak students for my team with never any trouble of anyone ever saying anything about it unless they wanted to be embarrassed at their game.
I’ve been told I have a heart of gold but I’ve also been called cold hearted. I know I use to be extremely emotionless and calloused to the world around me. All that use to matter was that I was the best on my sports teams and that I scored the most points. It was a lot of fun but it wasn’t right.
When my mom got sick I realized that it didn’t matter how many goals I scored or how popular I was, all that mattered was the time I spent with her and things I never said. I was a victim of society like everyone else, blinded by what meant absolutely nothing. I let my father leaving affect the way I treated and spoke to my mom . She was my best friend and I loved her like no other but I had my moments like everyone else full of anger and resentment.
Life goes on though and I’m happy and I’m very healthy which I am thankful for. I wish I knew the words to say to make you understand the positive things in your life. Life is what you make it, start with your day.