Missing You When You're Here - Part Three
Title: Missing You When You're Here
Author: raychcons
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Movie spoilers
Warnings: Alter!Roy/Ed, Cannon!Roy/Risa (boo!)
Summary: They were back, but he was not who Ed loved.
Notes: This fic is based on if Ed and Al found a way back to their own world. Also, before you ask, at the end, Edward used Envy to return home :]
Parts: 3/3
It didn’t work. Roy stared at the ground with a shroud of darkness over his face, and slowly, his heart broke again. If you listened carefully, you could have heard it.
“I don’t understand.” Hohenheim muttered under his breath, walking around the large circle on the floor, eyeing it with a critical eye. His plans had been perfect.. It was like a blistering hope to Roy. But that hope was now a pain that he couldn’t force away.
Their theory had been simple. The way to connect the two gates was through your life, and your blood controlled your life. Each human was connected to the gate, all they needed was to reawaken that connection. With the use of their own blood and the force of memory within them, alongside the aid of a rather large transmutation circle, it was possible to open the portal to the other word with a simple click of the fingers. But it hadn’t worked.
And now Roy was more broken than he had been before.
“You lied to me,” He said, his voice echoing the large room. It was the same room Edward had used to return to his world - though, Hohenheim didn’t know that. “You lied, you told me I could have him back! Does it please you, Hohenheim, to know that you broke my heart, ripped away my soul and threw it back in my face! You said.. You said that I could see him again, just one more time… You lied..”
Roy hadn’t reacted like this the first time they had attempted the transmutation. Or the second. Or even the third (though his heart had begun to sink at that moment). Now, on the eighth try, he had had enough. His heart was sore enough already. It was the fact that Hawkeye seemed to be stalking him, the fact that his head hurt every time he woke up without Ed and the fact that he had found one of Ed’s shirts the other day and now he couldn’t sleep without it. It was pain more deep and painful than anything else in the world.
And as Roy had collapsed to the floor, his knees shaking as they hid the wood, Hohenheim had fled, hoping to try and re-perfect his plans again.
Ed wouldn’t have run.
Ed would have stayed and held his hand and told him that everything would be okay.
But Ed wasn’t here anymore.
Ed was gone. Ed was gone!
A wail echoed around the walls of the storehouse.
~*~
[Amestris]
Risa gazed down at the piece of paper in her hand. She didn’t want to believe it, but it was there, written before her in plain black ink. Her left hand shook, the gold band shimmering on her finger suddenly feeling very tight.
‘I will never forget what we would do..’
This wasn’t happening. They were happy! Why did this have to happen! She fell backwards into a chair.
‘I will miss you more than I have missed anything before in my life, but I understand. Our paths are taking different roads…’
It was her fault, really. She shouldn’t have gone through Edward’s things - they were personal, private. But she wanted to know why he didn’t come to their wedding, why he never spoke directly at her, why he had that heartbroken look in his eyes at the office.
‘Our love will never end, it is only separated. I hope you will always remember what we shared, my little chibi. She will never stand in the way of that, this I swear. I won’t let her…’
It wasn’t hard to guess who the she was. Risa knew that she had broken something inside Ed the day she had gotten married and become Mrs. Risa Mustang, but she hadn’t realised what. She had thought the boy was in love with her!
‘I love you, now and forever. Never forget that, Ed. Never. I love you.
-Roy’
But Roy loved her! Her! He had married her, held her, touched her and loved her before Ed had arrived.
She didn’t notice the banging of the door.
She didn’t hear the steps coming up behind her, a clunk then a pat, signalling a leg that wasn’t entirely real.
She didn’t notice a young man stand shocked behind her, desolation written all over her face.
What she did notice, however, was the whine of pain and the metal hand that reached out and grabbed the letter from her hand, and the loud, trembling voice that echoed with a dark sadness that could never be overcome.
“What are you doing! You shouldn’t do things like this!”
“I understand why you hate me now-”
“I can’t believe you would do something like this, my personal message… my lifeline.. Secret from him..”
“And I know that it must have been hard for you-”
“Get out! GET OUT!” Edward screamed at her, tears running down his face faster than they ever had before, a never ending chain of fear and pain.
“Edward, I didn’t mean-”
“YOU DON’T KNOW! YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING! GO AWAY! HE‘S GONE!” And Risa was stunned into silence.
“He’s gone, and I can’t get him back, and it hurts, it hurts to much, and I don’t know what to do and I love him and..” The man trailed off, falling to his knees, the scrap of paper clutched to his chest over his heart.
“Ed, he’s in the office. He hasn’t gone anywhere. I don’t understand.”
“No, NO! That’s not my Roy. That’s your Roy, the one that doesn’t care and the one that thinks of me as a child and wants me dead and knows I am a pain and loves to rub it in my face that he’s married to you. No, my Roy is gone! I left him alone because I thought I belonged here, I thought this was where I was meant to be! It’s not, though, is it Risa? I have never been more out of place before in my life, I feel so awkward around everyone because I don’t know them anymore, and it hurts knowing that he doesn’t love me and that he thinks of me as something he can throw away…”
Risa was confused, but there was a part of her that knew what Edward was talking about. He had been to another world, the other side of the gate that separates people from death, and leads to an alternate world without alchemy and…
And oh.
Alternate characters that were the same in this world. Another Roy, in another world, that loved Edward so completely and unselfishly that he would let him return to this world because he thought he belonged.
Edward had given up everything, just so that he could return and be ridiculed. So that he would be stuck in the ranks and be treated like a bad dog by everyone, to be kicked around and to take all the punishment.
And she felt the pain inside. Her heart ached, and slowly, her hand reached out and touched his shoulder, the real one, her fingers resting lightly upon it. Much to her surprise, Edward didn’t pull away, he didn’t try and force her to move or let go. Slowly, her hands wrapped around him, her arms pulling him closer into a closeness that the young man had never felt with the woman before.
“I’m sorry, Ed.” She said, tears gathering in her own eyes. “I’m so sorry. I never noticed it before..”
Together, in silence, they sat, and she took his pain upon her own shoulders.
~*~
[Munich]
She was following him again. Why wouldn’t she just leave? Why couldn’t she realise that she wasn’t him, her hair wasn’t dark enough, her hand wasn’t metal, she wasn’t him, and she never could be!
“Roy..?”
“Please, Risa, not today. I have.. A headache.”
“Very well. Just explain one thing to me. Why do you always brush me off as though I am nothing but a piece of dirt upon your sleeve?” This Risa was very different to the one Ed had described.
“You’re not… It’s hard, I can’t explain it. I apologise for how I have been treating you, but I am not ready for a relationship at the moment.”
“But that’s not it, is it, Roy? There is something holding you back, and I want to know what it is.” Roy suddenly stopped being polite, and became cold.
“I don’t see how it is any of your business, Miss Hawkeye.”
“I care for you, Roy. I want to know what is hurting you so bad you refuse to see something when it is right before your eyes!” Roy turned, his dark eyes flashing.
“No, Risa, you refuse to see that is before your eyes! You cannot see that I have no interest in you because of a past that haunts my every step! I do not love you and I never will because I made a promise, I swore, and that means more to me than any feelings you think you have! My heart has already been taken! It was taken long before I met you, and long before I knew your name. I apologise again, but I will never be ready for a relationship with you because I can’t have one. It is something you will have to learn, Miss Hawkeye, because you don’t seem to understand that I can feel other things than ‘love’ for you. I love someone else, and I always will, and it is about time that you learned that.” Turning, Roy stalked down the road, leaving a stunned woman standing alone behind him.
Tears gathered in his eyes as he thought about Ed, his smile, his laugh, his moan, and his heart lost another piece to the never ending sorrow that was his life.
This pain was too much. He wouldn’t be able to take much more before he broke down.
~*~
[Amestris]
“I’m leaving, and I don’t think I am coming back.” Roy Mustang looked up from the papers he was signing, a look of shock written over his face.
“Edward, you have only just returned to us! Where are you off travelling to now? Do Winry and Al need some help?”
“No. I’m going back.” That sent a shock down the General’s spine, and he stood, the chair scraping across the floor.
“I thought you said it was terrible.”
“It was.”
“And that you hated every moment?”
“I did.”
“Do you wish to explain why you are returning then?”
“Because there is a ray of light in the world that isn’t here. There is a beauty that I didn’t realise before, a beauty that made me belong, and I need it back. I know that I would die if I don’t have it. You must give me clearance to leave the Military before I can go, otherwise I would not be here.” Roy nodded, slowly, as though he had barely grasped their topic.
“You are under the command of Colonel Mustang, not me.”
“Yes, but she said that I needed clearance from you.”
“Very well. I give you permission to leave us for good and risk your life for a pointless dream. Good enough?”
Edward looked as though he might explode, but he turned away, pushing open the door with his metal hand, not feeling the wood beneath his fingers.
“You know nothing about dreams.” And then he left.
~*~
[Munich]
He was here again. Standing alone in the old warehouse, the dark black marks on the floor the only evidence that he had tried to get Ed back. He couldn’t believe the pain he still felt, but that was okay. He had the memories.
Walking forward, he knelt in the middle of the circle, placing a piece of fabric there, a scattering red jacket, a forlorn memory. It slipped from his hands like silk, falling from him. It was his last memory.
As he watched the fabric fall into a puddle of dreams, tears slipped down his face, and one landed on a black line, sparking a chain reaction all around him.
A blue portal opened beneath his feet. Roy scrambled to his feet, looking around him.
When a portal is opened from this side of the gate, it shines a bright yellow, like the sunlight shining on the morning dew. Edward told him everything about alchemy. But when it’s a dark blue, like the lost seas of this world, it means it opened from the other side.
A small figure fell through, clad in a red coat with a black shirt and wonderfully tight leather pants. Roy’s eyes widened in joy and surprise as the brilliant colours around his sparkles and faded, until he realised that the jacket wasn’t read.
It was blood.
Everything seemed to run in slow motion, and he fell to his knees before the figure, a shaking hand brushing against his cheek.
It was Ed.
Ed was back, and there was so much to say - too little time, what could they do? He wanted to hold him, taste him again, kiss him but there was blood and sweat and tears and pain and Roy didn’t know what to do - but he had to help Edward first. He tried to move and call for an ambulance, but Edward grabbed his hand.
“Don’t bother,” He gasped, his voice soft and lost, as though it hadn’t followed him through the gate. “I won’t survive long, trust me. I can’t, it was the price I paid. Please, please - just, kiss, kiss me please - I want to hold you one last time.. It hurts so much but not as much pain as trying to live without you and Roy, oh Roy..” His sentences almost made no sense, but it was as though Roy had found a language he understood perfectly.
Their kiss was rushed, and yet was tender. Tear stained lips pressed against pale skin that was suffering from lack of blood, the pain rushing through them both as the nostalgia took over, memories of other kisses and other times returning. Roy pressed his hand against Ed’s cheek, and he was so close to not stopping and continuing when Ed pulled away, a content smile on his young face.
“Thank you, thank you, Roy, I love you, I love you so much. It wasn’t the same - not the same at all, it was so different - and Roy and Risa got married and it wasn’t you and it hurt - so much more than this, this will be over soon - and she found out and she helped he return and it hurts so bad Roy!” The blond was close to sobbing, his breath coming in gasps, quick and fast and filled with pain.
“Edward, Edward my chibi alchemist,” Roy had adopted that name so long ago, so so long it felt like forever. “What happened? Tell me, please, I have to help, I want to help, you have to tell me!” Edward shook his head and gasped, cringing as a wave of pain more intense than anything he had ever felt came over him.
“You can’t help. There was no Homunculus to help me get through, they’re all gone, all gone, and I had to offer something in exchange - because that’s the rule, that’s the rule, right? - and they took my heart, Roy. They took what was yours, what was always yours, and now they have it and I am dying and I can’t stop it and it hurts Roy! It hurts! I just wanted to be with you again and it hurts so much..” Edward gasped in pain, and Roy could see the blood flow stopping, darkening to a stain that was more deathlike. His hand reached out shakily, touching Ed’s cheek.
“How are you still alive? With no heart, how can you live?”
“I.. I don’t know - sensei did it, sensei can do anything - it must be something to do with this other world, messing me up.. Haha.. I love you, Roy. Please, live without me. Marry Hawkeye, if you like. I don’t mind, as long as you’re happy. As long as you’re.. You’re happy..” His breaths were falling short.
“I won’t be happy without you, Ed. Not without you,” Roy was kissing his cheeks, his lips brushing against the skin as he spoke. “I love you, I love you so much I had given up hope of life. She followed me, tried to make me love her but she wasn’t you, she wasn’t you, she could never be you, never ever be you, Ed. I’m so glad I could see you again just one more time, and I hate this pain this torture, of seeing you just to have you die!” The dark haired man was in tears, sobs breaking his words as he closed his eyes. “I tried so hard to believe that we could be together again, but we can’t be, there is something against us, and I don’t want you to go where I can’t follow!” Roy sat up, looking down at the body of the man he loved. Something was different.
Something was wrong.
Edward had stopped breathing. A cry of pain tore from Roy’s throat, and he almost fell upon the body before him, covered in blood and sweat and tears, and he broke, he broke into a million pieces that wouldn’t let him be. And soon his breathing caught short, the sobs and the tears choking him until he had to stop and sit up, breaking the spell of darkness over him and washing him with another darkness.
He couldn’t follow.
He couldn’t go where Edward had gone. Not now - he had to do what Edward had said, he had to be happy. But he didn’t want to leave. He swore he would be happy. He had promised Ed.
But how could he be happy without Ed?
Roy began to break again, falling over the body. Steps echoed behind him, and he didn’t want to turn, didn’t want to see who it was as he lay, cradling hid dead lover.
Behind him, Hohenheim watched, waiting for when it would be time for Roy to keep that promise, his own heart breaking again as he heard the gasping sobs and broken cried.
The words “Edward, I love you,” Echoed around the room.
Author: raychcons
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Movie spoilers
Warnings: Alter!Roy/Ed, Cannon!Roy/Risa (boo!)
Summary: They were back, but he was not who Ed loved.
Notes: This fic is based on if Ed and Al found a way back to their own world. Also, before you ask, at the end, Edward used Envy to return home :]
Parts: 3/3
It didn’t work. Roy stared at the ground with a shroud of darkness over his face, and slowly, his heart broke again. If you listened carefully, you could have heard it.
“I don’t understand.” Hohenheim muttered under his breath, walking around the large circle on the floor, eyeing it with a critical eye. His plans had been perfect.. It was like a blistering hope to Roy. But that hope was now a pain that he couldn’t force away.
Their theory had been simple. The way to connect the two gates was through your life, and your blood controlled your life. Each human was connected to the gate, all they needed was to reawaken that connection. With the use of their own blood and the force of memory within them, alongside the aid of a rather large transmutation circle, it was possible to open the portal to the other word with a simple click of the fingers. But it hadn’t worked.
And now Roy was more broken than he had been before.
“You lied to me,” He said, his voice echoing the large room. It was the same room Edward had used to return to his world - though, Hohenheim didn’t know that. “You lied, you told me I could have him back! Does it please you, Hohenheim, to know that you broke my heart, ripped away my soul and threw it back in my face! You said.. You said that I could see him again, just one more time… You lied..”
Roy hadn’t reacted like this the first time they had attempted the transmutation. Or the second. Or even the third (though his heart had begun to sink at that moment). Now, on the eighth try, he had had enough. His heart was sore enough already. It was the fact that Hawkeye seemed to be stalking him, the fact that his head hurt every time he woke up without Ed and the fact that he had found one of Ed’s shirts the other day and now he couldn’t sleep without it. It was pain more deep and painful than anything else in the world.
And as Roy had collapsed to the floor, his knees shaking as they hid the wood, Hohenheim had fled, hoping to try and re-perfect his plans again.
Ed wouldn’t have run.
Ed would have stayed and held his hand and told him that everything would be okay.
But Ed wasn’t here anymore.
Ed was gone. Ed was gone!
A wail echoed around the walls of the storehouse.
~*~
[Amestris]
Risa gazed down at the piece of paper in her hand. She didn’t want to believe it, but it was there, written before her in plain black ink. Her left hand shook, the gold band shimmering on her finger suddenly feeling very tight.
‘I will never forget what we would do..’
This wasn’t happening. They were happy! Why did this have to happen! She fell backwards into a chair.
‘I will miss you more than I have missed anything before in my life, but I understand. Our paths are taking different roads…’
It was her fault, really. She shouldn’t have gone through Edward’s things - they were personal, private. But she wanted to know why he didn’t come to their wedding, why he never spoke directly at her, why he had that heartbroken look in his eyes at the office.
‘Our love will never end, it is only separated. I hope you will always remember what we shared, my little chibi. She will never stand in the way of that, this I swear. I won’t let her…’
It wasn’t hard to guess who the she was. Risa knew that she had broken something inside Ed the day she had gotten married and become Mrs. Risa Mustang, but she hadn’t realised what. She had thought the boy was in love with her!
‘I love you, now and forever. Never forget that, Ed. Never. I love you.
-Roy’
But Roy loved her! Her! He had married her, held her, touched her and loved her before Ed had arrived.
She didn’t notice the banging of the door.
She didn’t hear the steps coming up behind her, a clunk then a pat, signalling a leg that wasn’t entirely real.
She didn’t notice a young man stand shocked behind her, desolation written all over her face.
What she did notice, however, was the whine of pain and the metal hand that reached out and grabbed the letter from her hand, and the loud, trembling voice that echoed with a dark sadness that could never be overcome.
“What are you doing! You shouldn’t do things like this!”
“I understand why you hate me now-”
“I can’t believe you would do something like this, my personal message… my lifeline.. Secret from him..”
“And I know that it must have been hard for you-”
“Get out! GET OUT!” Edward screamed at her, tears running down his face faster than they ever had before, a never ending chain of fear and pain.
“Edward, I didn’t mean-”
“YOU DON’T KNOW! YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING! GO AWAY! HE‘S GONE!” And Risa was stunned into silence.
“He’s gone, and I can’t get him back, and it hurts, it hurts to much, and I don’t know what to do and I love him and..” The man trailed off, falling to his knees, the scrap of paper clutched to his chest over his heart.
“Ed, he’s in the office. He hasn’t gone anywhere. I don’t understand.”
“No, NO! That’s not my Roy. That’s your Roy, the one that doesn’t care and the one that thinks of me as a child and wants me dead and knows I am a pain and loves to rub it in my face that he’s married to you. No, my Roy is gone! I left him alone because I thought I belonged here, I thought this was where I was meant to be! It’s not, though, is it Risa? I have never been more out of place before in my life, I feel so awkward around everyone because I don’t know them anymore, and it hurts knowing that he doesn’t love me and that he thinks of me as something he can throw away…”
Risa was confused, but there was a part of her that knew what Edward was talking about. He had been to another world, the other side of the gate that separates people from death, and leads to an alternate world without alchemy and…
And oh.
Alternate characters that were the same in this world. Another Roy, in another world, that loved Edward so completely and unselfishly that he would let him return to this world because he thought he belonged.
Edward had given up everything, just so that he could return and be ridiculed. So that he would be stuck in the ranks and be treated like a bad dog by everyone, to be kicked around and to take all the punishment.
And she felt the pain inside. Her heart ached, and slowly, her hand reached out and touched his shoulder, the real one, her fingers resting lightly upon it. Much to her surprise, Edward didn’t pull away, he didn’t try and force her to move or let go. Slowly, her hands wrapped around him, her arms pulling him closer into a closeness that the young man had never felt with the woman before.
“I’m sorry, Ed.” She said, tears gathering in her own eyes. “I’m so sorry. I never noticed it before..”
Together, in silence, they sat, and she took his pain upon her own shoulders.
~*~
[Munich]
She was following him again. Why wouldn’t she just leave? Why couldn’t she realise that she wasn’t him, her hair wasn’t dark enough, her hand wasn’t metal, she wasn’t him, and she never could be!
“Roy..?”
“Please, Risa, not today. I have.. A headache.”
“Very well. Just explain one thing to me. Why do you always brush me off as though I am nothing but a piece of dirt upon your sleeve?” This Risa was very different to the one Ed had described.
“You’re not… It’s hard, I can’t explain it. I apologise for how I have been treating you, but I am not ready for a relationship at the moment.”
“But that’s not it, is it, Roy? There is something holding you back, and I want to know what it is.” Roy suddenly stopped being polite, and became cold.
“I don’t see how it is any of your business, Miss Hawkeye.”
“I care for you, Roy. I want to know what is hurting you so bad you refuse to see something when it is right before your eyes!” Roy turned, his dark eyes flashing.
“No, Risa, you refuse to see that is before your eyes! You cannot see that I have no interest in you because of a past that haunts my every step! I do not love you and I never will because I made a promise, I swore, and that means more to me than any feelings you think you have! My heart has already been taken! It was taken long before I met you, and long before I knew your name. I apologise again, but I will never be ready for a relationship with you because I can’t have one. It is something you will have to learn, Miss Hawkeye, because you don’t seem to understand that I can feel other things than ‘love’ for you. I love someone else, and I always will, and it is about time that you learned that.” Turning, Roy stalked down the road, leaving a stunned woman standing alone behind him.
Tears gathered in his eyes as he thought about Ed, his smile, his laugh, his moan, and his heart lost another piece to the never ending sorrow that was his life.
This pain was too much. He wouldn’t be able to take much more before he broke down.
~*~
[Amestris]
“I’m leaving, and I don’t think I am coming back.” Roy Mustang looked up from the papers he was signing, a look of shock written over his face.
“Edward, you have only just returned to us! Where are you off travelling to now? Do Winry and Al need some help?”
“No. I’m going back.” That sent a shock down the General’s spine, and he stood, the chair scraping across the floor.
“I thought you said it was terrible.”
“It was.”
“And that you hated every moment?”
“I did.”
“Do you wish to explain why you are returning then?”
“Because there is a ray of light in the world that isn’t here. There is a beauty that I didn’t realise before, a beauty that made me belong, and I need it back. I know that I would die if I don’t have it. You must give me clearance to leave the Military before I can go, otherwise I would not be here.” Roy nodded, slowly, as though he had barely grasped their topic.
“You are under the command of Colonel Mustang, not me.”
“Yes, but she said that I needed clearance from you.”
“Very well. I give you permission to leave us for good and risk your life for a pointless dream. Good enough?”
Edward looked as though he might explode, but he turned away, pushing open the door with his metal hand, not feeling the wood beneath his fingers.
“You know nothing about dreams.” And then he left.
~*~
[Munich]
He was here again. Standing alone in the old warehouse, the dark black marks on the floor the only evidence that he had tried to get Ed back. He couldn’t believe the pain he still felt, but that was okay. He had the memories.
Walking forward, he knelt in the middle of the circle, placing a piece of fabric there, a scattering red jacket, a forlorn memory. It slipped from his hands like silk, falling from him. It was his last memory.
As he watched the fabric fall into a puddle of dreams, tears slipped down his face, and one landed on a black line, sparking a chain reaction all around him.
A blue portal opened beneath his feet. Roy scrambled to his feet, looking around him.
When a portal is opened from this side of the gate, it shines a bright yellow, like the sunlight shining on the morning dew. Edward told him everything about alchemy. But when it’s a dark blue, like the lost seas of this world, it means it opened from the other side.
A small figure fell through, clad in a red coat with a black shirt and wonderfully tight leather pants. Roy’s eyes widened in joy and surprise as the brilliant colours around his sparkles and faded, until he realised that the jacket wasn’t read.
It was blood.
Everything seemed to run in slow motion, and he fell to his knees before the figure, a shaking hand brushing against his cheek.
It was Ed.
Ed was back, and there was so much to say - too little time, what could they do? He wanted to hold him, taste him again, kiss him but there was blood and sweat and tears and pain and Roy didn’t know what to do - but he had to help Edward first. He tried to move and call for an ambulance, but Edward grabbed his hand.
“Don’t bother,” He gasped, his voice soft and lost, as though it hadn’t followed him through the gate. “I won’t survive long, trust me. I can’t, it was the price I paid. Please, please - just, kiss, kiss me please - I want to hold you one last time.. It hurts so much but not as much pain as trying to live without you and Roy, oh Roy..” His sentences almost made no sense, but it was as though Roy had found a language he understood perfectly.
Their kiss was rushed, and yet was tender. Tear stained lips pressed against pale skin that was suffering from lack of blood, the pain rushing through them both as the nostalgia took over, memories of other kisses and other times returning. Roy pressed his hand against Ed’s cheek, and he was so close to not stopping and continuing when Ed pulled away, a content smile on his young face.
“Thank you, thank you, Roy, I love you, I love you so much. It wasn’t the same - not the same at all, it was so different - and Roy and Risa got married and it wasn’t you and it hurt - so much more than this, this will be over soon - and she found out and she helped he return and it hurts so bad Roy!” The blond was close to sobbing, his breath coming in gasps, quick and fast and filled with pain.
“Edward, Edward my chibi alchemist,” Roy had adopted that name so long ago, so so long it felt like forever. “What happened? Tell me, please, I have to help, I want to help, you have to tell me!” Edward shook his head and gasped, cringing as a wave of pain more intense than anything he had ever felt came over him.
“You can’t help. There was no Homunculus to help me get through, they’re all gone, all gone, and I had to offer something in exchange - because that’s the rule, that’s the rule, right? - and they took my heart, Roy. They took what was yours, what was always yours, and now they have it and I am dying and I can’t stop it and it hurts Roy! It hurts! I just wanted to be with you again and it hurts so much..” Edward gasped in pain, and Roy could see the blood flow stopping, darkening to a stain that was more deathlike. His hand reached out shakily, touching Ed’s cheek.
“How are you still alive? With no heart, how can you live?”
“I.. I don’t know - sensei did it, sensei can do anything - it must be something to do with this other world, messing me up.. Haha.. I love you, Roy. Please, live without me. Marry Hawkeye, if you like. I don’t mind, as long as you’re happy. As long as you’re.. You’re happy..” His breaths were falling short.
“I won’t be happy without you, Ed. Not without you,” Roy was kissing his cheeks, his lips brushing against the skin as he spoke. “I love you, I love you so much I had given up hope of life. She followed me, tried to make me love her but she wasn’t you, she wasn’t you, she could never be you, never ever be you, Ed. I’m so glad I could see you again just one more time, and I hate this pain this torture, of seeing you just to have you die!” The dark haired man was in tears, sobs breaking his words as he closed his eyes. “I tried so hard to believe that we could be together again, but we can’t be, there is something against us, and I don’t want you to go where I can’t follow!” Roy sat up, looking down at the body of the man he loved. Something was different.
Something was wrong.
Edward had stopped breathing. A cry of pain tore from Roy’s throat, and he almost fell upon the body before him, covered in blood and sweat and tears, and he broke, he broke into a million pieces that wouldn’t let him be. And soon his breathing caught short, the sobs and the tears choking him until he had to stop and sit up, breaking the spell of darkness over him and washing him with another darkness.
He couldn’t follow.
He couldn’t go where Edward had gone. Not now - he had to do what Edward had said, he had to be happy. But he didn’t want to leave. He swore he would be happy. He had promised Ed.
But how could he be happy without Ed?
Roy began to break again, falling over the body. Steps echoed behind him, and he didn’t want to turn, didn’t want to see who it was as he lay, cradling hid dead lover.
Behind him, Hohenheim watched, waiting for when it would be time for Roy to keep that promise, his own heart breaking again as he heard the gasping sobs and broken cried.
The words “Edward, I love you,” Echoed around the room.