SAHM update
Lately a lot of former coworkers have been gearing up to go back to work in August, and I've also had a lot of people lately ask me how the whole stay at home mom (SAHM) thing is going, so I thought since it's now been about 2.5 months home I should do an update :-)
Overall, having now experienced the work outside the home mom (WOHM) thing and the SAHM thing I can honestly say that I find both equally challenging from a work standpoint. I think it's often easy for working moms to look at SAHMs and think they have it so easy being at home all day, and SAHMs often look at working moms as having it easy b/c they "dump" their kids with someone else all day, etc. and the debate over who has it "easier" is never ending. Personally I think there are a lot of stresses and pluses about both and in the end it's about a wash from a work load standpoint.
When I was a school psych I had to deal with a lot of work drama, which got old. Mornings were very stressful trying to get everyone out the door on time. Evenings were stressful b/c I tried to cram a whole days worth of bonding with Raya into 2 hours before she went to bed, plus cook dinner, pick up the house, etc. Dealing with daycare hassles and scheduling got old, and I felt I was stretched so thin that I was only giving about 50% to each job (mom and psych), so I was unable to be really good at either. However I did enjoy adult interaction during the day, when Raya was having bad days and particularly moody is was a nice break to go to work, and with both Lee and I working we both had to pitch in at night to cook and clean hosue etc.
As a SAHM my morning as leisurely and relaxed. I don't have to deal with daycare, and I don't have to feel like someone else is getting all the "fun" of my baby. However, the monotony of pretty much living on a toddler's schedule day after day does take it's toll and get to be kinda boring at times. Not being able to go do fun stuff whenever I want b/c of saving money is a pain, and it's a lot of work to take care of the house AND a toddler, with little help from Lee--b/c (rightly so I think) he feels that if he is at work all day then the majority of the housework should be my job.
So that leads me to the big question I get asked all the time right now--do I like being a SAHM? And my answer is undeniably, 100%, absolutely YES! While both working and staying home are equally challenging, I've found one major difference. The job of being a SAHM could not possibly be more rewarding. Every day I feel like I"m making memories with Raya (and her soon to be sibling(s)) and I feel truly appreciated for what I do. As a school psych I never felt like I was making any lasting impression on anyone. I did my job well, I was qualified, but at the same time I worked mostly with teachers and schools trying to impact student achievement, but even the students who I did have the chance to work with directly won't remember me a year from now. It's not like when you're a teacher and a student might look back on their 7th grade year and think "oh, Mrs. so and so really changed my life"...After 4 years of doing my job I can safely say that in 2 years from now no one will remember me. Maybe a couple coworkers, but students don't look back and say "oh, Mrs. H really administered that achievement test and did my IEP paperwork so well when I was in elementary school" haha.
I know that lots of people do jobs that don't necessarily change lives and which aren't personally rewarding....and I completely understand that for many people it's a matter of necessity to work and although they'd love to be home with their kids they can't. So I definitely am not trying to badmouth working moms or imply that they don't care enough about their kids to stay home with them. However, that is the reason why I know I am SO LUCKY to have this opportunity to stay home and no matter how challenging it might be staying home I 100% prefer it over working and I know that my kid(s) are going to look back at these years and have a lot of great memories that we wouldn't otherwise have. My plan is still to stay home for about 5 years, until Raya starts kindergarten (one less in daycare to pay for!) and our 3rd kid (hopefully!) will be approx. 2 years old and at that age I feel much more comfortable doing daycare than with a baby. At that point then I fully intend to return to work and think I'll be ready. Once my kids are in school/preschool they'll be doing their "job" during the day and I"ll be doing mine, so I won't feel like I"m missing out on things by working.
So anyways, there are my thoughts on staying home right now! ....and honestly, who couldn't love my job when you have a "coworker" as cute as this!
Thanks for the new outfit Auntie Bridge!
...and now I better go get my coworker up from her nap....she's always sleeping on the job ;-P