My friends send me the strangest things...
Alternatively titled, "As if I didn't have enough body issues..."
The email is a scary, scary place some days...especially when it includes information on such trendy tidbits as "vajazzling". I did not make up that word; it's a very real, if very odd, new way to make one's ladyparts "prettier". It involves a Brazilian wax (OUCH!!!) or lasering, followed by the application of Swarovski crystals. Google it, if you dare. There's even a video.
I'm trying to imagine what kind of woman has this done. I'm trying to imagine what kind of man would find it attractive. I'm struggling with the concept that one's parts are not attractive enough, given good hygiene and perhaps a bit of grooming - maybe even a lot, allowing for personal preference - but now must sparkle & glitter, too. Ok, fine, at the risk of TMI I'll admit that I do keep things tidy...very tidy. Been doing that since long before it was popular, thanks to dancing & horseback riding. It's just more comfy, especially in the summer. But jewels? Seriously? Does someone really think men would react favorably to this? He doesn't want to kiss me if I'm wearing lipgloss because it might smudge...would he want to risk ripping crystals off? It would seem to me that a guy would look at crystal-studded parts and think "owie!" It would just have to rub someone the wrong way. I know guys do the "oooh, shiny" thing a lot, but it typically involves cars, motorcycles, or fancy technology. Every (straight) guy I've ever met seemed like they'd be perfectly happy to see normal, unadorned female genitalia as long as they could touch it. Hell, at least half the time they'd be happy if they COULDN'T touch it, as long as they got to look.
Yep, I have body issues. Can't think of a woman I know who doesn't. I've met women with parts worthy of being immortalized in song or art, who spent most of their time moaning about the alleged flaws of some other bit. They were blind to their own beauty. My issues mostly involve my lower tummy and left breast. The tummy is decorated by a c-section scar; the left breast has a 3-inch scar along the outside, a souvenir from a biopsy. These are not a body parts I'm fond of, but I've come to see the scars as reminders of a battles I won. Still, they're a big scars, very visible, and I'm all too aware of them, as well as the attendant muscle damage. Himself doesn't seem to have an issue with any of it - if he had his way, I'd spend my day playing Lady Godiva, so it can't be that awful. With his help, I'm dealing with it...and it's a lot easier than it used to be.
All I can see is him staring in disbelief if I did something like that. Then, most likely, laughing his ass off. Come to think of it, it could make for a rather interesting practical joke...
The email is a scary, scary place some days...especially when it includes information on such trendy tidbits as "vajazzling". I did not make up that word; it's a very real, if very odd, new way to make one's ladyparts "prettier". It involves a Brazilian wax (OUCH!!!) or lasering, followed by the application of Swarovski crystals. Google it, if you dare. There's even a video.
I'm trying to imagine what kind of woman has this done. I'm trying to imagine what kind of man would find it attractive. I'm struggling with the concept that one's parts are not attractive enough, given good hygiene and perhaps a bit of grooming - maybe even a lot, allowing for personal preference - but now must sparkle & glitter, too. Ok, fine, at the risk of TMI I'll admit that I do keep things tidy...very tidy. Been doing that since long before it was popular, thanks to dancing & horseback riding. It's just more comfy, especially in the summer. But jewels? Seriously? Does someone really think men would react favorably to this? He doesn't want to kiss me if I'm wearing lipgloss because it might smudge...would he want to risk ripping crystals off? It would seem to me that a guy would look at crystal-studded parts and think "owie!" It would just have to rub someone the wrong way. I know guys do the "oooh, shiny" thing a lot, but it typically involves cars, motorcycles, or fancy technology. Every (straight) guy I've ever met seemed like they'd be perfectly happy to see normal, unadorned female genitalia as long as they could touch it. Hell, at least half the time they'd be happy if they COULDN'T touch it, as long as they got to look.
Yep, I have body issues. Can't think of a woman I know who doesn't. I've met women with parts worthy of being immortalized in song or art, who spent most of their time moaning about the alleged flaws of some other bit. They were blind to their own beauty. My issues mostly involve my lower tummy and left breast. The tummy is decorated by a c-section scar; the left breast has a 3-inch scar along the outside, a souvenir from a biopsy. These are not a body parts I'm fond of, but I've come to see the scars as reminders of a battles I won. Still, they're a big scars, very visible, and I'm all too aware of them, as well as the attendant muscle damage. Himself doesn't seem to have an issue with any of it - if he had his way, I'd spend my day playing Lady Godiva, so it can't be that awful. With his help, I'm dealing with it...and it's a lot easier than it used to be.
All I can see is him staring in disbelief if I did something like that. Then, most likely, laughing his ass off. Come to think of it, it could make for a rather interesting practical joke...